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Vibes for a couple of things, please?
- Thread starter snake_lady
- Start Date
.........
I'm sorry you and your girls have to go through this :vi bes:I am sending you mega vibes and hoping you get everything you want for you and your daughters.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #24
Yes, he will have to pay full child support for his child, partial support for my older daughter, and some spousal support.
Where I am getting screwed is that currently, in lieu of the above, he is paying the full mortgage and utility bills (which do total the approx $ of what he will have to pay me once things move on). I am paying groceries, pet care, bills in my name, gas for the truck, etc.
He has screwed me on the last credit card bill, which is in my name but has 4 days of charges prior to seperation, and he is refusing to pay. In those 4 days, I spent roughly $1000 because I had to go get my daughter from summer camp (2 tanks of gas, and 2 hotel nights) and some back to school shopping and groceries...but it was mainly the trip that cost so much. I AM fighting for this, as the dates were prior to separation so he SHOULD IMO pay for those costs.
We don't have 401Ks here, I'm not sure what exactly they are.
In order for me to stay in the home, I would have to buy him out of his share, as well as be able to get a mortgage in my name and afford it along with the bills, which I cannot.
Technically, it's not "my" home...... it is "our" home. The way the laws work is that both parties have a right to stay in the home (if it weren't for the Police involvement, he could actually come back into the home and refuse to leave).
Does that help explain it?
I don't mind the questions, I just don't know how to answer sometimes. This is all new to me.
When my oldest daughters father left, it was my apartment, my this and that...... so there was no complications, he simply moved out and it was done.
This time, we've been common law for 9yrs, jointly own the house/truck, and he is the type to do things out of spite.
I can say this much....
On Aug.23, I spent 6hrs in a holding cell in the town jail because of my actions. My children were with him and the police. During that time, an officer came in and told me I had to find a new address for me and my kids, in order to be released. ?????????????????????
I questioned the officer as the house is "ours", and he explained that at the time, my husband was refusing to leave the home and because I was the one who could not go near him, I would have to find a new residence.
He has family around to stay with. I have no one.
He was willing to make the children and I go to a shelter, disrupt their lives even more than what was already done, just to spite me.
My daughter cried to an Officer about not having anywhere to go and him having lots of places to go....the Officer talked to him, then a couple hours later came back and told me I was "lucky that he was willing to go elsewhere".
And it hasn't stopped since that date. I'm the one "better off" since it was "detrimental" to him to have to leave.
It was that in itself that told me we were done.
We had been trying for 3yrs, the last year being awful, but I just could not give up hope. At one point I loved this man so much, and rarely but occassionally I could see that person in him.... I couldn't give up hope untill he showed his true colours of being willing to send me and the children to a homeless shelter after I slapped him ONCE, and only once. He didn't call the cops because he was scared of me, he called because we argued for 10mins after I had slapped him, and I repeatedly said I am done listening to you, I am done letting you hurt me and my girls, I will NOT listen any more. He calmly said "Well if you are not going to listen, I guess I should call the cops" and that's just what he did.
and here we are now. I was wrong in what I did, I know that, and do regret it. We all have our breaking points is all I can say.
I appreciate the support very much
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I'm sorry you are going through this
Just a quick question, Chris: are you POSITIVE you would have to buy out his half of the house? Asking because around here the person who gets physical custody of the child/children usually lives in the marital home until the youngest child is out of school.
I know what a strong woman you are; my only advice would be to play hard ball when it comes to terms of the settlement. I can only imagine how this has turned your entire life upside down. You are on my mind so often; please take care of yourself, and fight for what's yours.
I know what a strong woman you are; my only advice would be to play hard ball when it comes to terms of the settlement. I can only imagine how this has turned your entire life upside down. You are on my mind so often; please take care of yourself, and fight for what's yours.
I know that you have the strength to get through all of this sweetie.
Sending vibes for you and your beautiful girls.
Chris, a 401K is a retirement plan where the person contributes money from their paycheck usually before taxes are taken out. It's probably called something else in Canada since "401K" is a US IRS term, but I'm pretty sure they have them up there. He may not have told you about having one, but it's worth having your lawyers look in to it. In the US most spouses are entitled to a portion that was contributed during the years they were married (even common law if recognized by the state). You deserve to get every penny you have coming to you. A lump sum from that would help you and your girls get back on your feet.
He definitely sounds like a vindictive SOB.
I know you want to avoid court, Chris, but please talk to your lawyer and the shelter worker. Mark knows your fears: don't let him play on them. I agree - play hardball if you have to. I know when it comes to your girls you're a tiger, Chris.Originally Posted by libby74
Just a quick question, Chris: are you POSITIVE you would have to buy out his half of the house? Asking because around here the person who gets physical custody of the child/children usually lives in the marital home until the youngest child is out of school.
I know what a strong woman you are; my only advice would be to play hard ball when it comes to terms of the settlement. I can only imagine how this has turned your entire life upside down. You are on my mind so often; please take care of yourself, and fight for what's yours.
