Vet said my poor cat only has weeks left. Please help

[Tillyboo]

Hi everyone, first time poster but I have seen how helpful you all are and I'm hoping that you can help with offering advice for my little lady.

Tilly is 13 years old, I've had her since she was 7 weeks old and she is my best friend and shadow. For a little while I had noticed she was chewing her food on one side and was struggling to eat hard biscuits and treats, so I switched her on to wet food only and booked a vets appointment.

To my absolute shock, the vet said she has an abdominal mass and it feels really bad, I asked what they could do and they said they could do an ultrasound to see what organs are involved and a blood test, I agreed to both of these. The vet phoned me with the results of the ultrasound and said it was quite hard to see what's going on but it looks like theres a big tumor and it could be attached to the kidney. He then phoned me with the blood test results and said it may not be the kidney because he would expect the blood results to be worse if the Kidney was involved. He also asked me if she was blind because he'd noticed her pupils were dilated, I told him her pupils only dilated because she was so anxious about being left somewhere without me for the first time in her life. She wasn't blind before that appointment, she was chasing the laser just weeks ago before all of this, and she still follows the laser light but there is definitely something not right with her eyes at the moment.

I asked what my options were, he said biopsy/surgery but that he advised me not to put her through that as he doesn't think she'd come through it (she's such a small cat and always has been). He gave her a steroid shot and asked us to come back in a week. I decided to get a second opinion. The new vet felt her stomach and said he can definitely feel quite a big mass, and that he could do an ultrasound the following week and prescribed her a 2 week antibiotic and metacam, even though he knew she still had a steroid injection in her system and metacam and steroids don't mix, I didn't find this out until I'd already given her a small dose in her food (luckily she didn't eat much of it).

Sorry this is so long and thank you for staying with me this far. Needless to say, I found another vet, they did a quick ultrasound and said yeah she has a tumor but it's impossible to see what's attached to what, gave me some prednisolone for her and told me I only have weeks left with her.

I am beyond heartbroken, I am caring for her 24/7 and it's hurting me so much to see her like this. Should they not be giving her some pain relief? Should they not be ruling out other things that can cause abdominal masses? Everything was fine a few weeks ago and this has hit me like a ton of bricks. The prednisolone doesn't seem to be working much and she hates me for having to give it to her every night. Please help me, any advice would be so much appreciated.

 

[Kris107]

I can feel your angst and the main thing I can say is try to breathe and ground yourself. If you're indeed in the palliative care/hospice care stage, it is very stressful and emotional. I had a hard time sleeping sometimes. You can even start grieving (anticipatory) before anything even happens to sweet Tilly. But what helped me is trying to focus on things I know. I know that all living creatures have a lifespan and don't really get a choice about when/how. I know that I love my cat and make decisions for him/her based on knowing him/her the best and out of love. I know that when it is time, it will be hard, but I will survive and life will continue. Obviously, whatever works for you. But sometimes it can be good to find some grounding statements to bring down the emotion. Advocate for your girl. If you think she's in pain, ask for some pain meds. If treatments that you want to pursue aren't working, then start thinking about how much you want to put her through. I found it helpful to have a plan in mind ahead of time of where I would take my cat for euthanasia or at-home euthanasia, who I wanted with me, etc. Then I could focus on the now. Making the now the best I could. Treats, cuddles, brushings, etc. Spoil her rotten! And I'm sorry if I sounds doomsday - by all means if you want to try more vets or try more treatment options, do! You're the one who knows you and your cat's limitations and what is feasible. Otherwise, remember that Tilly loves you and that will never end.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I'm so sorry. What your poor Tilly is going through sounds exactly like what my Katie did fourteen years ago, and at the same age as Tilly. She had sudden weight loss and when my vet did xrays found a huge cancerous mass on her liver, iirc. Diagnosis was that she only had a couple of weeks, and it turned out to be correct. The worst was that I let her go too long, and instead of being put to sleep she died painfully of heart failure. I have so much sympathy for you and your sweet little girl, it is absolutely heartbreaking and as K Kris107 said, you're already in anticipatory grieving.

 

[fionasmom]

There is more that can be done, such as an endoscopy and a contrast dye intestinal scan. However, your vets are probably looking at two things: prognosis and followup based upon what the tests show. They may also be considering if it is right to ask you to invest financially in further studies when the prognosis seems to be less than hopeful and the test itself may cause complications.

As for pain medication, call one of the vets and ask about prescribing some for Tilly. If you are doing palliative care, it is usually part of the protocol.

You have to do what you think is right for Tilly and for yourself. Personally, I do not proceed any further with elderly/ill pets (dogs or cats) beyond keeping them comfortable, whatever that takes, and continuing any prescription medication that has already been prescribed and is necessary. I don't do "academic" testing, meaning that the purpose is only to find out what is there when my vet and I have already decided that it would be unwise to continue to surgery or other treatment.

I am so sorry that you are in this very sad place with Tilly and understand how much it hurts.