Ugh! I Am So Mad!!!! Step Child Sydrom Rant

[ghosthunterbeck]

Originally Posted by cazlee

Thank you, from the perspective of a step child, for doing everything you can to treat all of them equally, and putting your own feelings aside for their sake. That's very noble and it takes a very big heart to do.

I wouldn't say that it's necessarily "noble." I love my step children (don't always like them, but then I don't always like my own children, either -- love is something entirely different), and they deserve no less than any other child just because their parents chose to divorce one another (or were forced to, in a manner of speaking).

Kids shouldn't get wrapped up in the affairs of their parents. Parents who do that are just using their children for their own gain, IMO.

 

[cazlee]

Originally Posted by ghosthunterbeck

I wouldn't say that it's necessarily "noble." I love my step children (don't always like them, but then I don't always like my own children, either -- love is something entirely different), and they deserve no less than any other child just because their parents chose to divorce one another (or were forced to, in a manner of speaking).

Kids shouldn't get wrapped up in the affairs of their parents. Parents who do that are just using their children for their own gain, IMO.

I would say it is, take a darn compliment. LOL.

But really, we've all known alot of blended families I'm sure, and how sometimes the step parent will just make no effort. My boyfriends step father did some really nasty things to him as a kid, and really shouldn't be around children. Now I'll admit my boyfriend can be difficult sometimes, but there's a very clear line between discipline and the very Matilda "I'm bigger, I'm smarter, I'm better than you." behavior.

From what I've seen, really going out there and putting forth an effort isn't something alot of stepparents do.

 

[EnzoLeya]

Thanks everyone for their support. I usually do very well about not letting things about my stepdad get me down. It just really made me mad because a laptop is expensive and my mom told me they were almost forclosed on last month. They have no money sense and I NEEDED somewhere to vent.

My mom does agree that my stepdad shouldn't play favorites, but what can she do? They fought constantly when I was still at home. In fact I'm not even sure about why they are still together. She's even admitted to me that she doesn't love him anymore. I'm guessing she just doesn't want to go through another divorce (my real dad was crazy/abusive).

 

[ghosthunterbeck]

Originally Posted by cazlee

I would say it is, take a darn compliment. LOL.

LOL!

Okay, okay! I'm just not very good at that

But really, we've all known alot of blended families I'm sure, and how sometimes the step parent will just make no effort. My boyfriends step father did some really nasty things to him as a kid, and really shouldn't be around children. Now I'll admit my boyfriend can be difficult sometimes, but there's a very clear line between discipline and the very Matilda "I'm bigger, I'm smarter, I'm better than you." behavior.

I didn't grow up around many blended families. Having been raised Catholic and in a Catholic community, divorce wasn't all that common, so I didn't get much of a chance of "understanding" what blended families went through. It would have made it easier on me when I *became* a step parent.

And it was tough at first, period. My step-children are literally trained to be poorly behaved, and some of their "bad" behaviors are insane, including the child who, at four and a half years old, was still in diapers, and not for a medical reason.

I read a lot, I talked to the kids, and I tried to figure out what I could do to help them. Yes, sometimes I had to protect my own children from the more violent behaviors, but I would have protected any of the children from what I perceived as a danger. Who wouldn't?

From what I've seen, really going out there and putting forth an effort isn't something alot of stepparents do.

IMO, it's really not that hard *and* it's worth it. But that, of course, is just my opinion on the subject. Kids are kids -- if you treat them as equals (to one another) you're going to have a much more rewarding experience out of parenthood.