two new cats, one attacking the other

[nmh19]

I adopted a neutered male cat 4-5 months ago (now 9 months old), and 1 week ago, a spayed 1-year-old female who is smaller than my male cat. I introduced them the standard way, but maybe a bit quickly as I live in a 1-bedroom. The first day or so, my boy cat hissed at her a lot, which she ignored, and then, my boy cat began to follow my girl cat everywhere she went. He began to try to grab her tail or her paw, which resulted in her hissing at him. All of this was fine, but then, he began attacking her, typically when he was in "play mode." When he gets in play mode, his fur gets all puffed out and he tears around the house (and he did this even before she came). When he attacks her, he'll jump on her, grab her head, bite her neck, kick her in the stomach, and chase her. She runs away, hisses and then growls, and when he's attacking her she kind of meow-yells at him. He'll even follow her under the bed or dive at her under the bureau. The actual physical altercation is over in 5-10 seconds, at which point he'll generally back off. The rest of the time, he will intermittently follow her, sniffing her butt frequently, occasionally licking at her ears or head, and she tends to avoid him. She will very occasionally chase after him, rarely sniffs at his butt, occasionally bumps her head at him affectionately in the morning, and frequently hits at him to get him away from a food dish. The only time they seem to willingly come together is when I'm feeding them or if they're drinking water, or if I'm in the bathroom. She does have an area where she can get away from him (top of the counters where he can't climb up to), I have 3 food areas for them and 2 litter boxes in different rooms. Neither of them are hiding under the bed, neither is having litter box issues (although my boy cat attacked her this morning while she was using the litter box!), but I'm still very concerned, because it seems to be escalating. I've had her a week and 3 days now. She's very good with me, and he is too (although he tends to run around the house making little meowing noises in his throat which he never did before). Is this a territorial thing on my boy cat's part? I've been advised not to separate them and let them work it out, and so far, there's been no blood or flying fur, but I worry when I come home from work that one will be gravely injured or dead. Is this something I should be worried about? Is there anything I can do? How much longer should I try this out before sending her back to her foster home for her own safety? The boy is definitely neutered, and she is definitely spayed. I've never had 2 cats before so this behavior is ALL new for me...

Thanks in advance!

 

[catmom5]

I don't know who told you to just let them work it out. That goes against everything I've learned, been told and experienced. I think I would most definitely separate them until they have learned to get along without all the altercation. Things can escalate quickly and get out of hand and I know you don't want anyone to be hurt. Even though you have a 1 bedroom home, perhaps one in the bedroom, the other out - do the scent swapping and place swapping (use a towel to wipe the scent from each and then put it under the other cat's food bowl so they associate the smell with something good) and then when things are calmer, allow short supervised visits only. If things start to get out of hand, then separate them right away. You can also then switch which room the cats are in so they have a chance to get used to each other's smells.

Slow and careful works better, in my opinion, than just letting them work it out.

It sounds like your boy could use some serious hard playtime, too, with all that energy!

I'm sure others will have some ideas, too.

catmom5

 

[nmh19]

Thanks for your input. Everything I've read online goes with what you're saying, but the rescue agency I got my new cat from has been telling me to keep them together, and that my fear over their interactions is what's fueling the problem. I honestly don't know what to do, as I've never had 2 cats before. They've told me it's normal for cats to "play fight," and that it can look pretty scary, but it just seems that my boy cat is doing the attacking, in general, and my girl cat is hissing and growling at him in return. But other times they're fine - I separated them this morning after a pretty scary fight and let them out when I came home, and they're both very calm, and sleeping in the same room right now. No flights since I got home, which is very different from how it's been the past few days. I'd appreciate any other perspectives as well - thank you!

 

[catmom5]

In my opinion, I would separate them when you can't be there to supervise them closely. It sounds like they are fighting, not play-fighting. This is not behavior you want them to practice. I really don't understand a rescue telling you what they did. Cats are very territorial and sometimes simply do not want another cat to come into their territory.Sometimes it can takes weeks for the cats to learn to live together in peace. Your worry about someone being hurt is a real one, so please keep them separate when you're not right there with them. Oh, and when they are together and being nice, that's the time for treats and praise.