Traumatized by cat seizures

[alysker]

So this morning I realized I still might have trauma from one of my cats dying.

To try to make a long story short one of my childhood cats was truly my best friend.
Three years ago she passed away after a weekend of terror. One night she had a seizure in my bed, the next day we went to the vet and they said it's all fine. She got about 5 more seizures that day. We got medicine for her but instead of big seizures she just walked around in a daze with small seizures all day. On Sunday night I went to go sleep at a friend's place because my parents and I decided we would wait till monday to make any decisions about our cat. My mom called me that night and said our cat had another huge seizure that she wouldn't come out of. I could have driven home since I didn't have anything to drink yet but my mom thought it wouldn't be smart to drive while sad. They took her to the vet and an hour later she passed away. I got to see and bury her the next morning.
We never knew what happened to her so suddenly. I always felt guilty for not being there with her. I had also given her antiflea drops the week prior so I was very scared that was the cause, even though I know that's highly unlikely and she probably had some sort of brain damage since she was 14 years old.
I went to a therapist and had some emdr sessions. I thought I could cope pretty well until today.
In the evening we had to put some bug spray in one of our closets, a closet our cat Miso can never get into! But then Miso did not sleep with us even though she usually does all night so I was already worried.
This morning I heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen and I sprinted over thinking it was the sound of a cat having a seizure since it's so ingrained in my head. But no of course it was just Miso casually taking a dump in her litterbox and just looking at me like 'whats your problem?'.
I wonder if I will ever get over the fear of my cat having seizures. The way my heart stopped when I thought I heard something might indicate I'm still traumatized by the events of my childhood cat.

Just wanted to rant and share this to get it off my chest

 

[Antonio65]

I fully understand you, I really do.

My younger cat had something that looked like a seizure in March 2021. It all began with her laying peacefully on my lap when I was watching the TV, then she slowly moved to the small table next to the sofa, she sat there for a couple of second, then she kind of "deflated", she got like she was boneless and slipped down that table. She fell on the ground, I got up to see what happened and she was there, with her wide open eyes and she suddenly attacked me and the other cat. She started yelling and jumping off the walls, running up and down the house like she was possessed by a demon.
To make this story short, this horrible scene from a horror movie lasted at least 30 minutes, and it took me another half an hour to grab her and take her to the vet at midnight.
We don't know for sure what it was, the neurologist is sure it was a seizure, my cat is taking pills for epilepsy now.

Anyway, since that night I can't look at her without thinking that something is off in her head. She has this very peculiar way to get down from my lap, she slowly slips down, and every time she does this my blood freezes.
I'm constantly alert on anything unusual she does, any weird behavior, or even normal things look weird in my eyes because I think she might have a small seizure.
I think I've been traumatized too.

 

[alysker]

I fully understand you, I really do.

My younger cat had something that looked like a seizure in March 2021. It all began with her laying peacefully on my lap when I was watching the TV, then she slowly moved to the small table next to the sofa, she sat there for a couple of second, then she kind of "deflated", she got like she was boneless and slipped down that table. She fell on the ground, I got up to see what happened and she was there, with her wide open eyes and she suddenly attacked me and the other cat. She started yelling and jumping off the walls, running up and down the house like she was possessed by a demon.
To make this story short, this horrible scene from a horror movie lasted at least 30 minutes, and it took me another half an hour to grab her and take her to the vet at midnight.
We don't know for sure what it was, the neurologist is sure it was a seizure, my cat is taking pills for epilepsy now.

Anyway, since that night I can't look at her without thinking that something is off in her head. She has this very peculiar way to get down from my lap, she slowly slips down, and every time she does this my blood freezes.
I'm constantly alert on anything unusual she does, any weird behavior, or even normal things look weird in my eyes because I think she might have a small seizure.
I think I've been traumatized too.

I'm happy to hear that the medicine works for your cat! All you can do is cherish the time you have together. I understand the scared feeling.

 

[neely]

You're no alone since many of us can relate to your experience, if not with seizures then another terrifying illness. Our dog had a grand mal seizure after being diagnosed with an uncommon autoimmune illness followed by more seizures. Although none of our cats ever had a seizure they did have other health issues that were alarming. I don't know if anyone really gets over these sudden episodes but knowing others have been through something similar helps us understand what you're feeling.

 

[VinceL]

Our late cat Loki had a seizure disorder. He experienced a grand mal seizure about 10 years ago. We took him to the vet and he ran tests, but found no clear cause. He experienced another seizure a few weeks later. We took him to the vet again, and he prescribed Zonisamide. He was on that medication for the rest of his life (we just lost him a month ago) and never had another seizure. Seeing a pet or a human (which I have seen) having a grand mal seizure is terrifying. You are scared for them, and there is really nothing you can do.