Trapped The Shyest Stray Of All Time, Now What?

[LiteralGrill]

Well, it's time for a Cinder Snoot Chronicles update but this one is a bit more rough and I absolutely need some advice.

I hadn't mentioned the other cats in the household yet because, well, they hadn't been relevant to the story up until this point. We do have two other cats here, Toesy Poesy and Samuel L. Jackson (both girls, despite the last one's name). They've basically been separated from Cinder Snoot up until recently when it was time to start the sniffing through the door phase of introductions.

Everything so far had been going also extremely well considering, we had honestly assumed our luck was as amazing as it was with Cinder Snoot opening up to us (he needs his daily chin scratching session now, and has become such a sweet boy with us). While Samuel L. Jackson has been extremely unthrilled someone new is here (she was resistant a bit to meet Toesy too, we expected this and knew the process would take MUCH longer with her) Toesy Poesy was from the beginning, quite curious and excited to meet Cinder Snoot.

They moved kind of quickly from there, we were trying to do the whole eating their food kinda close to the door thing, but then the two spotted each other through the crack... And nothing bad happened. Cinder Snoot had just kinda popped his head out the door a little before I could close it after setting his bowl inside, so it wasn't what I was planning, but it went SO well! To the point they had several meals together with the door cracked open since.

So my partner and I went in prepared to try and let the two of them maybe see each other a bit more, with Samuel L. Jackson set away in a different room for a bit so she wouldn't get her grumpy in the way. They were doing so well! No stare downs, taking time to groom (but only a little, nothing stress related) and even having some time just not looking at each other at all. There was ZERO aggression here and everyone was having a great time!

Until Cinder Snoot pounced...

Now, this didn't look like something mean anyways even then, but I'm now heavily concerned that Cinder Snoot might not have been socialized by his mom or other kittens properly on how rough is an okay amount of rough to play because this became a minor disaster VERY quickly. It's the first time I've ever heard Toesy Poesy scream angrily in her entire two years of life together. It only lasted a brief moment before the two separated, with Toesy running off into another room and Cinder Snoot going back to his safe space, but Toesy's long fur was all over the floor in some pretty big chunks.

We've checked and thank the lucky stars that Toesy didn't have her skin broken, we can only thank her extremely huge amounts of fluff for saving her though. Pretty darn lucky we had been able to get Cinder Snoot into the vet to get tests and those initial shots while waiting to do the neutering too, so no disease risk either way... But still.

We kept them separated overnight, the other two kitties safe with us in our bedroom just to be sure everything would be okay. But we're back to this morning and Toesy is already sniffing at the door once more, acting like nothing happened. And I'm baffled! First impressions are so important to cats, I know that, but here she is seemingly willing to maybe forgive.

We didn't do the normal open door feeding today because well, we were honestly just too nervous and figured it'd be best to basically start the introduction process from scratch all over again and wait until the neutering is done before they even come face to face again (just in case less hormones maybe would help the situation) but...

I have no idea what to do at this point. I've never had to actually deal with a kitty who doesn't know how to not play too rough before. I don't want to risk Toesy getting hurt to teach him either, even if she does forgive him, for the obvious reasons of hey, I don't want any cats getting hurt! She's also far too much of a sweetie and unfortunately, is unlikely to bite or swipe back to try and teach him this lesson the hard way. It's just not her personality, it's why she immediately ran away instead.

While Samuel L. Jackson is VERY much the type to absolutely kick his butt into next week, not only are they not ready to actually meet yet, but we got her after a previous owner declawed her (something we'd NEVER do, the poor thing) so she doesn't have the claws to try and teach him the lesson the kinda hard way even if the two eventually are able to meet.

Has anyone gone through this before here who might be able to offer me some sage wisdom on the situation? We really don't want this story to end with Cinder Snoot at some shelter to try and be adopted out or something similar, as we've already fallen so much in love with him here. I'm just completely out of my depth now in this moment.

 

[rubysmama]

I've never had 2 cats at the same time, so have never had something like that happen. One idea though is to try stacked baby gates at the door, so they can see each other better,and even do pawsies without the risk of either getting hurt.

Here's a couple TCS articles with more info.

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction - TheCatSite

Pics of stacked baby gates, p!us other ideas in this thread:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Stacked baby gates was my thought, as well.

Look, Toesy told you as plainly as she could that this was just a bit of rough play, and that she thought nothing of it once it was over. Given the time of year, and her coat type, I'm betting that the clumps of hair were sheds that were still stuck in her coat, and pulled free, not jerked out of her skin. BOTH cats were startled, and retreated from each other, rather than one pressing an actual "attack." This is actually wonderful! That bodes well for any future disagreements! So long as he isn't chasing her down, y'all are currently just fine!

 

[LiteralGrill]

Well, there hasn't been able to be much for updates because we're kind of stuck in waiting purgatory for now but I honestly could use a bit of encouragement because of that. We finally found a vet to take Cinder Snoot to this weekend, but this is just for basic check up, shots, etc. Not the neutering. And it really feels like this boy needed to be neutered weeks ago at this point.

We've got two litter boxes in the same room, in different parts. I've removed just about everything I physically can from the room. But he just keeps needing to find things to pee on. Sure, he'll also pee in the litterbox, but then it's just gotta be on something else at some point. I know it's likely just spraying, it's hormones, it isn't his fault, but it's becoming beyond frustrating to have to basically clear out the entire room. I know I need to make another haul out of there soon honestly to get rid of the rest of the things he may be tempted by, I'm just worn out by it all. With no furniture of any kind to even sit on in there but the hard floor now, my spine is barely holding up to try and hang out with him.

I have no idea how long it'll take to get him neutered. We already have had to wait so long for this appointment. Just feeling extremely demotivated today.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Well, there hasn't been able to be much for updates because we're kind of stuck in waiting purgatory for now but I honestly could use a bit of encouragement because of that. We finally found a vet to take Cinder Snoot to this weekend, but this is just for basic check up, shots, etc. Not the neutering. And it really feels like this boy needed to be neutered weeks ago at this point.

We've got two litter boxes in the same room, in different parts. I've removed just about everything I physically can from the room. But he just keeps needing to find things to pee on. Sure, he'll also pee in the litterbox, but then it's just gotta be on something else at some point. I know it's likely just spraying, it's hormones, it isn't his fault, but it's becoming beyond frustrating to have to basically clear out the entire room. I know I need to make another haul out of there soon honestly to get rid of the rest of the things he may be tempted by, I'm just worn out by it all. With no furniture of any kind to even sit on in there but the hard floor now, my spine is barely holding up to try and hang out with him.

I have no idea how long it'll take to get him neutered. We already have had to wait so long for this appointment. Just feeling extremely demotivated today.

Oh dear! First off: Bless you for rescuing him It's too bad the neutering has not been done a vet appointment is soon. It will take a little while after it happens for his hormones to settle down. In the mean time maybe cover small tables etc... with peepads, carry a folding chair or camp chair or even a cot in there with you when you spend time with him. Hang in there. If he will allow it maybe nail caps when next he meets your other kittys. Just remember you've got a lot of folks here rooting for you. Keep us updated. Photos of all your kittys would be great too

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, that's unfortunate that you can't get him neutered, like now. And, unfortunately, the longer he sprays, the greater the chance he always will. However, at least the pee smell won't be stinky tom cat pee, once he's neutered.

For now, as dustydiamond1 suggested, peepads might protect things. And do use an enzyme cleaner, as well.

Good luck with the upcoming vet appointment.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Have you contacted any rescues, to see if they can recommend a vet for the neutering? Their vets are more likely to be well-versed in ferals and strays, and to realize just how much this can increase a cat's chance of a happy home.

 

[vcabaniss]

We get it, this little girl refused to come out from out of the closet or under the bed for two months. My husband refused to believe she was even in the house anymore after a couple weeks until he found her at 2 am when he has to use the bathroom surprise boogity . Now she is Daddy's girl and kisses me too. She loves her kitty brother and isn't scared of the dogs either aka two shepherds.