Took 3 Inside So Far Need Advice

[julie310]

Hi I am the girl who took in 3 semi ferals 1 at a time a month back. #1 was the little black female. She is happy and well adjusted. Her brother I took in because of a foot and injury is doing well also. Just very untrusting but slowly coming around. The latest kit I took in was the most friendliest to me for the past year. I took her in last Wednesday. She is the calico female and apparently was the dominant one out of the bunch. She is very clingy and loving toward me but getting very destructive and needy. I kept her in a separate room after the vet visit. She is constantly howling and whining. When I go into the room and she is fine. She doesn't appear to be afraid of anything about being indoors. She is a very brave smart little girl. Over the weekend and 4 days of isolation I tried to let her mingle with the other 2 sibs. She was okay but was beating up and attacking my little black female whom is most well adjusted out of all of them. I feel like I have once again upset the balance in my home. And my resident cat... I still have to keep separated with the bunch. I am just starting to feel very stressed and extremely overwhelmed about this situation. Now I feel I have to keep the little destructive calico away from the other sibs. My house is very very small and I am losing my mind trying to clean up after and keep things organized and peaceful. Plus I am working 10 hours a day. Any suggestions? The calico is wonderful don't get me wrong. She head-butt's my face when she is with me and loving as heck. I hate keeping her locked up in her own cat room. She just wont chill. I have feliway plug ins through out the rooms. I feel I need some help. I have already contacted some rescues but everybody is full. I am starting to think I bit off more then I could chew. No regrets just so overwhelmed on how to handle all of the personalities. I just wish I knew someone to take in one of my inquisitive little loving females. Thanks for any input.

 

[Sarthur2]

I've been in your situation and it's not easy.

The calico sounds lonely, and she may need to be an only cat.

The rescues may have space this fall after kitten season ends, so try to hang in there.

Can you occasionally put the other cats in the bedroom and let the calico have a couple hours in the rest of the house?

I don't know if you have a bed in the calico's room, but maybe you could sleep in there with her part of the week.

You can also try putting an adoption notice up at your vet's office or your church.

 

[julie310]

Thanks for the advice. I already moved my entire bedroom downstairs to prepare for this undertaking I will just try to spend as much time with her as I can with out neglecting the others in the process until I can find her a home. It's very hard trying to keep everyone in the home happy and content and have time to myself also. I am losing it though I feel

 

[kittychick]

I've been there too....it's really tough. Trying to make everyone in multiple locations feel loved, while still trying to find time to shower and eat dinner, etc. And I agree with Sarthur2 - the calico sounds like she's lonely, and really wants human companionship (vs kitty). But I also know that while it seems like you've isolated her for ages and introduced her very slowly into the rest of your home/furry family- - but a week isn't very long at all in the "introduction world" despite the fact that it FEELS like months. And is it actual nastiness, or is it possible it's rough play? The calico may also be bored and so hungry for someone to play with that she goes straight to rough play (with a little dominance thrown in for good measure).

You may have spelled this out in an earlier thread - but is the calico in what you're using as your bedroom now? Or is she in a different bedroom? Swapping the calico's current space for the others' spaces will often help as it lets them all get used to the others' pheromones without any true contact. I'd try finding something she sleeps on most (or get her started sleeping on something - like a fuzzy blanket) and then swapping it for something that the others have slept on. After a few days of that, I moved to feeding them something they really love (like a little mackerel) with the food dishes for the calico and the others all pushed close on each side of the door (so that all are eating close to each other - and can even smell each other - but can't see or get at each other). I then go to opening the door a crack (and while I'm doing all of this, I'm feeding on opposite sides of the door) - so that they can (at most) put their noses to the crack and smell each other, but can't push a paw through. If that goes ok - I move to opening the door a bit more - so that they can get a paw through and even make eye contact, but nothing further. My final step is we have a wooden japanese-esque "screens" in the doorway (secured so that the cats can't tip it over). We use one that looks like this, but it doesn't have the opaque white paper/fabric in the small openings. If they can handle all of that - I've yet (knock on wood) ended up with cats that can't be together. They aren't all always best of buddies, but no bloody fights to the death.

If finding her a new home is what needs to happen (and there's certainly nothing wrong with that!) - - try making a flier with a few nice pictures of her, with a short but sweet/fun description of how sweet she is, the head butting, etc. I'd also be honest about needing to be an "only child." Then take the fliers to all the vets, pet food stores, shelters, etc (anything animal oriented is a great place!) and explain the situation and ask to put up a flier. Most places have somewhere that they'll put that type of stuff up! I'd also make an electronic version of your poster and send it to all of your friends - even non-cat friends (because even non-cat friends have friends who like cats!) - along with a little note explaining that you'd like them all to pass it along and help her find an indoor "home where she can roam...and get all the love she can." We've placed a lot of kittens in healthy, happy homes that way!

Good luck - and keep us posted! And keep coming back to this forum - - everyone on here has broad shoulders you can lean on



A few quick reads that might also offer some tips to try:

Introducing a New Cat

CAT MOJO: How To Introduce Two Cats

 

[julie310]

I've been there too....it's really tough. Trying to make everyone in multiple locations feel loved, while still trying to find time to shower and eat dinner, etc. And I agree with Sarthur2 - the calico sounds like she's lonely, and really wants human companionship (vs kitty). But I also know that while it seems like you've isolated her for ages and introduced her very slowly into the rest of your home/furry family- - but a week isn't very long at all in the "introduction world" despite the fact that it FEELS like months. And is it actual nastiness, or is it possible it's rough play? The calico may also be bored and so hungry for someone to play with that she goes straight to rough play (with a little dominance thrown in for good measure).

You may have spelled this out in an earlier thread - but is the calico in what you're using as your bedroom now? Or is she in a different bedroom? Swapping the calico's current space for the others' spaces will often help as it lets them all get used to the others' pheromones without any true contact. I'd try finding something she sleeps on most (or get her started sleeping on something - like a fuzzy blanket) and then swapping it for something that the others have slept on. After a few days of that, I moved to feeding them something they really love (like a little mackerel) with the food dishes for the calico and the others all pushed close on each side of the door (so that all are eating close to each other - and can even smell each other - but can't see or get at each other). I then go to opening the door a crack (and while I'm doing all of this, I'm feeding on opposite sides of the door) - so that they can (at most) put their noses to the crack and smell each other, but can't push a paw through. If that goes ok - I move to opening the door a bit more - so that they can get a paw through and even make eye contact, but nothing further. My final step is we have a wooden japanese-esque "screens" in the doorway (secured so that the cats can't tip it over). We use one that looks like this, but it doesn't have the opaque white paper/fabric in the small openings. If they can handle all of that - I've yet (knock on wood) ended up with cats that can't be together. They aren't all always best of buddies, but no bloody fights to the death.

If finding her a new home is what needs to happen (and there's certainly nothing wrong with that!) - - try making a flier with a few nice pictures of her, with a short but sweet/fun description of how sweet she is, the head butting, etc. I'd also be honest about needing to be an "only child." Then take the fliers to all the vets, pet food stores, shelters, etc (anything animal oriented is a great place!) and explain the situation and ask to put up a flier. Most places have somewhere that they'll put that type of stuff up! I'd also make an electronic version of your poster and send it to all of your friends - even non-cat friends (because even non-cat friends have friends who like cats!) - along with a little note explaining that you'd like them all to pass it along and help her find an indoor "home where she can roam...and get all the love she can." We've placed a lot of kittens in healthy, happy homes that way!

Good luck - and keep us posted! And keep coming back to this forum - - everyone on here has broad shoulders you can lean on



A few quick reads that might also offer some tips to try:

Introducing a New Cat

CAT MOJO: How To Introduce Two Cats

Thank you so much....whenever I am feeling down for doing this I can always relied on one of the kittie experts on here. A lot of good points you made. Callies bonded sibling male was taken in about 2 weeks ago. I just assumed after the isolation period she would want to see him and her other sister I took in 2 month's ago. I could have rushed it a bit. She just wants to be with me which I don't blame her. She completely trusts me. I just figured a sibling playmate would make her happier not more confused. It freaked out the other 2 catnapped sibs also. I am going to get metal shelving tonight a Lowes and build a cat fence for some of the doorways. I already have a cheap light weight screen door. My resident kitty still isn't feeling the Love from the sib I took 2 to 3 months ago. I did that as slow as I possibly could. I really don't want to rehome any of them but I must. I feel so guilty. They trust me. I have a lot of emotion's going on right now. I guess I just need to chill and take it day by day. Thanks for the wonderful advice!

 

[julie310]

And I do have a cat rescue interested in taking them in 1 at a time. They seem wonderful and find homes for a lot of kits. Considering they are friendly semifinals I am stressing if this will be a good choice for them or not. Being shuffled around before they find a forever home. I will try on my own first. This rescue deals with cat's only. They are pretty strict also with their adoption policy so I feel good about that. I would love to keep 1 or 2 but my resident cat just seems like she will never come around. I just hope I am doing the right thing instead of leaving them in their own environment in the elements. Can you tell I am a newbie and beating myself up about all of my choices LOL...completely questioning everything I have tried to do.

 

[Sarthur2]

It really takes time, a lot of time. I had a friend pass away last year, and I took in her 2 cats seven months ago.

I have 5 resident cats, and we are just now - after 7 months - getting where they are all getting along. I kept them completely separated for 5 months, and I still have one resident cat who can't deal with it.

It can be very stressful at times.

 

[julie310]

Wow that is amazing what you did! Yes I guess I just need to just breathe sometimes and remember why I am doing all of this. Thank you for the words of wisdom and sharing your great deed ♡