I have finally decided to face the reality that I cannot provide a good home for both Mellie and Tommy. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve tried my damnest…thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s nothing more I can do. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve failed to successfully integrate Tommy into my cat family. And this situationâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s adverse effect on both my life and my catsâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji] life has gone on for too long.
The background: I adopted Rocket and Mellie first. Tommy came about two months later. I did a standard new cat introduction using the recommended techniques and procedures. Perhaps I went too fast with Mellie, but Rocket was ready. Or perhaps Mellie never would have warmed up to him. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know; itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s all hindsight. In any case, Mellie was antagonistic toward Tommy from the start. At first he was a good little newbie, submitting to her growls, hisses and head slaps. For a while there it looked like it was working out. They even bumped noses and slept on the bed within two feet of each other. Then he started defending himself. And eventually he came full circle and started going after her. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s really aggressive in a behavior problem sort of way. Mellie definitely is partly at fault by antagonizing him and goading him with evil stares. Apparently, I have two dominant-tending cats, neither of which is willing to back down. But now Mellie is getting the worst of it. He outweighs her and is stronger and faster than her. And Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m concerned sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s going to get hurt. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s had several scratches and one bite on her precious little face. So, she spends much of her day under the bed. And at night, when Tommy is awake, she spends crouched in a corner of the closet next to a litter box. And she slinks around the house looking over her shoulder for her enemy. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s no kind of life for a cat.
I have tried everything to get these two to coexist. Two behavioral consults. Separation, reintroduction, redirection, diversion. Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement. Conditioning. Nothing works for long. We have been in a continuous cycle of improving for a little while and then regressing all the way back to square one. This constant yo-yo is frustrating and aggravating and disappointing. That plus the constant vigilance and the frequent refereeing is no kind of a life for me, either. I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t spend my life keeping these two cats apart.
So I cannot provide a good home and a good life for Mellie because of Tommy, and I cannot provide a good home and a good life for Tommy because of me -- Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m always mad at him, warning him away from Mellie, splitting them up, or putting him into time-out. Lately heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s spending most of his time in the basement. Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s cold and dark there. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s no good place for a cat. Tommy really is a nice little cat. I like him. He has a wonderful personality toward people. And Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m afraid Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m going to damage his enthusiasm for life and his attitude toward humans.
So, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m really sad about this, but Tommy needs a new home and a new life, and he has been surrended to the local Humane Association. Why the Humane Assocation? Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s required in their adoption contract. They are much better set up to find and screen potential adopters than I am. Their current cat population is well below capacity. They told me they only euthanize animals if theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re unadoptable. And Tommy is highly adoptable because of his personality, his appearance, his age, and his good health. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve been hoping so much to not have to do this, but I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t go on putting it off indefinitely. My philosophy is that when I fail at something to learn what I can from it, put it behind, and move on. And thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s what Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m doing. I miss the little guy already, but I hope heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll be happy. He deserves it. Seeing those eyes looking at me through the holes in the cat carrier was just wrenching. I have to think that itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s for the best…..
The background: I adopted Rocket and Mellie first. Tommy came about two months later. I did a standard new cat introduction using the recommended techniques and procedures. Perhaps I went too fast with Mellie, but Rocket was ready. Or perhaps Mellie never would have warmed up to him. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know; itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s all hindsight. In any case, Mellie was antagonistic toward Tommy from the start. At first he was a good little newbie, submitting to her growls, hisses and head slaps. For a while there it looked like it was working out. They even bumped noses and slept on the bed within two feet of each other. Then he started defending himself. And eventually he came full circle and started going after her. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s really aggressive in a behavior problem sort of way. Mellie definitely is partly at fault by antagonizing him and goading him with evil stares. Apparently, I have two dominant-tending cats, neither of which is willing to back down. But now Mellie is getting the worst of it. He outweighs her and is stronger and faster than her. And Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m concerned sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s going to get hurt. Sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s had several scratches and one bite on her precious little face. So, she spends much of her day under the bed. And at night, when Tommy is awake, she spends crouched in a corner of the closet next to a litter box. And she slinks around the house looking over her shoulder for her enemy. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s no kind of life for a cat.
I have tried everything to get these two to coexist. Two behavioral consults. Separation, reintroduction, redirection, diversion. Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement. Conditioning. Nothing works for long. We have been in a continuous cycle of improving for a little while and then regressing all the way back to square one. This constant yo-yo is frustrating and aggravating and disappointing. That plus the constant vigilance and the frequent refereeing is no kind of a life for me, either. I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t spend my life keeping these two cats apart.
So I cannot provide a good home and a good life for Mellie because of Tommy, and I cannot provide a good home and a good life for Tommy because of me -- Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m always mad at him, warning him away from Mellie, splitting them up, or putting him into time-out. Lately heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s spending most of his time in the basement. Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s cold and dark there. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s no good place for a cat. Tommy really is a nice little cat. I like him. He has a wonderful personality toward people. And Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m afraid Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m going to damage his enthusiasm for life and his attitude toward humans.
So, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m really sad about this, but Tommy needs a new home and a new life, and he has been surrended to the local Humane Association. Why the Humane Assocation? Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s required in their adoption contract. They are much better set up to find and screen potential adopters than I am. Their current cat population is well below capacity. They told me they only euthanize animals if theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re unadoptable. And Tommy is highly adoptable because of his personality, his appearance, his age, and his good health. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve been hoping so much to not have to do this, but I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t go on putting it off indefinitely. My philosophy is that when I fail at something to learn what I can from it, put it behind, and move on. And thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s what Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m doing. I miss the little guy already, but I hope heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll be happy. He deserves it. Seeing those eyes looking at me through the holes in the cat carrier was just wrenching. I have to think that itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s for the best…..
