Tomcat Not Cuddly Anymore

[sweetisgood]

I picked up an older tomcat off the streets. He came up to me, meowing up a storm, so I adopted him in my home. It was just us two. He is intact.

He hangs outside mostly and comes in to eat almost daily, rests inside every now and then. He use to be gone for about 3 days (a lot of females were around). He went missing for 3 weeks, and ever since... He hasn't been cuddly.

When I first got him, he slept with me when he was inside. He was extremely cuddly - insisted on being as close to me as possible when inside. He meowed all the time, he rubbed againgst me, and we had a lot of fun. Now, he won't lay with me. He picks other rooms. He doesn't rub againgst me much, only when hungry. If I sit down, he will crawl into my lap without coaxing and lounge but gets up and leaves quickly. Trying to cuddle on the bed is almost out of the question now.

I've never hit him or yelled (hell, never had too - he's one of those hidden gems). Ever since I picked up at the pound when he dissapeared for 3 weeks, he's been different. It's been over a month since then.

Changes: moved houses and adopted a 5 week old kitten.
Is there any way to my tomcat cuddly again? We have been companions for 6 months. I've done everything I can to make him feel at home.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to The Cat Site.

Sorry to hear your tomcat's personality changed after his 3 week disappearance. So many things could have happened to him during that time.

Did the changes - new house, new kitten - happen while he was missing? Or since he returned. Either way, there's a lot of changes in his life, so that probably is part of it.

Has he been for a vet checkup since you brought him back? If not, that would be my first suggestion. Make sure he's had all the proper shots. And maybe ask the vet about having your boy neutered.

Good luck. Hope everything works out.

 

[Willowy]

It's mating season. This is how tomcats act during mating season. He'll be cuddlier in the fall just like last year. If you want him to be cuddly all year 'round, have him neutered.

Well, he should be neutered anyway, to keep him from causing unwanted pregnancies and to minimize fighting, but if you need another reason, that's it!

 

[sweetisgood]

Hello and welcome to The Cat Site.

Sorry to hear your tomcat's personality changed after his 3 week disappearance. So many things could have happened to him during that time.

Did the changes - new house, new kitten - happen while he was missing? Or since he returned. Either way, there's a lot of changes in his life, so that probably is part of it.

Has he been for a vet checkup since you brought him back? If not, that would be my first suggestion. Make sure he's had all the proper shots. And maybe ask the vet about having your boy neutered.

Good luck. Hope everything works out.

Thank you for your comment. All of the changes happened while he was gone. I felt that maybe is if I got him a kitten (I obviously have never had a tomcat before), he would be more inclined to stay inside. I assumed he was on his normal 3 day absence (he is just like a teenager) and brought the kitten home - turned into 3 weeks. I got a call from the shelter who found him in an animal trap.

At the time, there was a big Maine coon who he fought daily. They'd get into nasty scraps, at random times. If I was home, I'd have to run outside with an object to try to shoo it off him. My cat is big but not that big.

Now that we've moved, he hasn't been in a single fight, has recovered the weight he's lost since gone, and hasn't wandered away for days. All of this behavior has improved.

I will take him to the vet as soon as I can.

 

[sweetisgood]

It's mating season. This is how tomcats act during mating season. He'll be cuddlier in the fall just like last year. If you want him to be cuddly all year 'round, have him neutered.

Well, he should be neutered anyway, to keep him from causing unwanted pregnancies and to minimize fighting, but if you need another reason, that's it!

Thank you for your comment. What a simple reason! I hope that is all it is! I'll have to look into this. I assumed the mating season would be in the fall because he would wander so far and he brought home females, like I said - gone for 3 weeks, I assumed he was folllowing one that far (he was found an hour's walk away from home) but he has been home every night and lays in the yard now. I'll have to do more research on my cat.

 

[Willowy]

Spring and fall are the main mating seasons, though cats can mate any time of year. But in areas with harsh winters, females don't go into heat until it's safe---usually around February, so the babies would be born in April, past the cold time. And they generally all go into heat at the same time in the spring, so it really gets all the males going. The fall mating season isn't as organized; the females go into heat any old time depending on what happened to the spring litter. So it's not as enticing to the males.

But yes, for a male to be a good pet, he needs to be neutered. Make sure the kitten is spayed/neutered at the appropriate time too.

 

[rubysmama]

Is your kitten a male or female? Course either way, spaying/neutering should be done to prevent either a) kittens!!! or b) two tomcats fighting over territory, and probably eventually starting to spray inside your house.

Here's a couple TCS articles on the topic:
Why You Should Spay And Neuter Your Cats
When To Spay Or Neuter A Cat?

 

[sweetisgood]

My tomcat has been increasingly worse. He begs to come inside but then immediately cries at the door to go out. His patience is thin and he will attempt to spray (regardless of if I'm in the shower or nearby) the couch almost instantly. He refuses to cuddle in any way and runs away as if abused. Is there any fix besides neutering the animal? He was not like this when I found him.

 

[Willowy]

That's how tomcats act when hormonal . He needs to be neutered ASAP.

 

[sweetisgood]

That's how tomcats act when hormonal . He needs to be neutered ASAP.

Alright. I know that he is already an adult (obviously) and read a few posts that you should not do it more than 5 months old. Particularly the ones above our recent comments advise early age. Per his behavior, it appears he has fully 100% reached TomCatHood. He hasn't increased in size (except for the weight gain after his 3 week disappearance that I've spent about a month now working on, which is how long he has been back home). How do I tell his age? Any clear signs with cats?

 

[sweetisgood]

He was, for 4 months when I first got him all the way up to his 3 week dissaperence, very cuddly and friendly and vocal and never sprayed inside. Then he dissapeared and came back like this. It's all a shock to me.

 

[rubysmama]

I would suggest discussing neutering with your vet, but unless there's a health issue that would make putting him under the anesthesia a risk, I think male cats can be neutered at any age. And since he's started spraying, neutering may not stop that habit, however, once the hormones are out of his system, the pee will not smell as strong.

 

[talkingpeanut]

There is no age limit to neutering, as long as the animal is healthy.

Your male will be much more comfortable and calm once neutered, as well as unlikely to get into fights. His health is in jeopardy here. This is how diseases are transferred as well.

Your male is also contributing to kitten overpopulation and unwanted kittens.

 

[thatfilmgirl]

My tomcat (I just posted about him) was fairly cuddly until the new cat and him became best buds. My female was hardly cuddly, but when I wasn't feeling well, she'd curl up by me. Hope you figure it out!

 

[Timmer]

Moving and adopting a new kitten are huge things to a cat. That might be the reason, could be because of mating season, I don't know. How far away did you move from your original location when you met him? If you took him across town, I wouldn't be surprised if he just didn't show up one day because he went back to his original area.

Another possibility is in the three days he is gone, he's actually hanging out at another house! You may not be the only one who feeds and cares for him.

 

[Willowy]

5 months is the ideal age to neuter, but it's definitely not the only age! It can be done at any time as long as the cat is healthy.