To adopt or not? (sorry long read)

[jabojenny]

I'm not sure if I'm in the right place or not, but thought this would be the most logical. I currently have two cats, sisters (R & Z), who are both 4 years old. I had another cat who passed away in December, she was 18 years old. Z was diagnosed with epilepsy about two years ago, so she takes phenobarb twice a day, which works great.

When I go away, two or three times a year, for at least a week and the occasional weekend, I board Z at the vet so she can get her meds, and R stays home and is cared for by my FIL. Previous to my older cat passing away things were a little unsettled upon Z's return (hissing and the occasional swat), but within a day or two things returned to normal.

Since the passing of my older cat I've been away twice, this time with R staying by herself and Z going to the vet, but things have changed upon Z's return. R's been really mean to Z, not major knock down drag out fighting but really mean aggression. It's taken at least two to three weeks for things to return to normal and this past return Z stopped eating, I'm not sure if it was related to the aggression or not.

Upon my vets recommendation, I segregated them for about a week, totally, and then just fed them separately for a few days and now just this past week they're eating together separated by a step stool. I'm planning on going away in July, and I'm wondering if my matriarch's passing has caused a disruption in the working "triangle." None of my cats had/have a strong interaction, the occasional cleaning of each other, sharing a chair or chase but I'm wondering if with the passing of my older cat something's been shifted. One of the most logical things would be to try and replicate this triangle by adopting another cat to keep R company when we're gone, but then I worry that I'll just mess things up more. I could also have a pet sitter come twice a day (keep the girls together) but there's a big gap of time between visits which worries me plus it's pretty expensive.

So what would you do?
- Leave things the way they are and deal with the re-introductions?
- Get a pet sitter and worry a bit more when I'm away that things are okay?
- Adopting another cat? If so, male or female? Age? Disposition? The rescue I spoke with, who we got the girls from, is great, and will work with me to find the best match.

Thanks for the taking the time to read my long post!

Jen

 

[piikki]

Get another cat - you will one day anyway!

One thing I thought of was that do you have kitty hotels anywhere nearby? You probably already pay a lot to board at vet. I assume it would be too much to board two cats there or you would have brought it up. It might be about the same or less to board two cats in a place where they aren't in cage all day but will have more supervision than with petsitter who only comes for brief visits. Those places are generally well accustomed to providing medical care for chronic conditions too.

I am not sure if you have looked into this option or if it is available anywhere nearby. I would be willing to drive a little further to board in a place like that myself (room instead of cage and guaranteed interaction and supervision) if I was worried about health issues.

Personally, I would probably look into another cat if you have reliable petsitter. Three cats is no crowd yet. Maybe someone would have a good idea what kind of character to look for.

 

[mews2much]

I would get another cat also.
It would keep the other cat company.
She may be lonely when you are gone.

 

[bunnelina]

I'm always in favor of people adopting more cats — as long as the existing cats are in favor of the new roommate, too.

According to my vet, cats become emotionally mature at around 3 years old, and then they may suddenly start trying to dominate other cats, to become "top cat." It may have been time for your sisters to go through this stage of maturity, regardless of the absence of your senior cat.

A new cat will either make it better, or worse! It's a gamble with a potentially wonderful pay-off, so I say go for it! With 4-year-old sisters, the traditional suggestion is to get a small, seemingly "harmless" male kitten. You'll need someone affable, who won't make additional waves, and being the opposite gender can help. But really, you could have success with any accommodating, "cat-friendly" cat at any age; they are all individuals. It's great that you can count on the folks at your shelter to play match-maker.

I've boarded my most fragile cats at my vet, too, but then I began to think it wasn't the best idea. It is stressful for the cat to be caged and away from home... and then are all those other sick cats nearby....

I was lucky to find a professional pet-sitting company here in Boston. They spent over an hour getting to know me, my cats, and their schedules. They are expert with medication, and apparently hang out for hours with my cats when we are gone. And best of all, they have email and cell phones! It costs us about the same as the vet, and I feel much better knowing my cats are all at home. I hope you might be lucky enough to find someone equally reliable in your area. I know what it's like to worry when you're traveling; for us, talking to the cat sitter every day or so makes all the difference.

Good luck!

 

[icklemiss21]

I am always in favour of adopting more cats, but you may end up having two cats ganging up on Z on her return from the vets

It is not about male or female or age, mine hate when I bring kittens home but are ok with adults, Autumn is better with males than females, the boys just give me that oh not another cat look now. It doesn't always work the typical a kitten is best route, sometimes you get a better idea of how the personalities will work with an adult cat

 

[jabojenny]

Originally Posted by piikki

Get another cat - you will one day anyway!

One thing I thought of was that do you have kitty hotels anywhere nearby? You probably already pay a lot to board at vet. I assume it would be too much to board two cats there or you would have brought it up. It might be about the same or less to board two cats in a place where they aren't in cage all day but will have more supervision than with petsitter who only comes for brief visits. Those places are generally well accustomed to providing medical care for chronic conditions too.

I am not sure if you have looked into this option or if it is available anywhere nearby. I would be willing to drive a little further to board in a place like that myself (room instead of cage and guaranteed interaction and supervision) if I was worried about health issues.

Personally, I would probably look into another cat if you have reliable petsitter. Three cats is no crowd yet. Maybe someone would have a good idea what kind of character to look for.

The only hotel option for me would be one of the big pet store chains. I just feel more comfortable knowing she's in a familiar place. She's not in a cage all day, they have a play area, windows, cat tower, larger area, she goes in daily. I know the techs at the vet and I'm assuming she knows them as well. Yes it's pretty expensive boarding two cats, and since my father in law watches the kitties at home (for free) it's a no brainer to only board Z.

I am leaning towards getting another cat, I always seem to have more then two, even though I keep telling myself no more.

Thanks for your reply

 

[jabojenny]

Originally Posted by piikki

Get another cat - you will one day anyway!

One thing I thought of was that do you have kitty hotels anywhere nearby? You probably already pay a lot to board at vet. I assume it would be too much to board two cats there or you would have brought it up. It might be about the same or less to board two cats in a place where they aren't in cage all day but will have more supervision than with petsitter who only comes for brief visits. Those places are generally well accustomed to providing medical care for chronic conditions too.

I am not sure if you have looked into this option or if it is available anywhere nearby. I would be willing to drive a little further to board in a place like that myself (room instead of cage and guaranteed interaction and supervision) if I was worried about health issues.

Personally, I would probably look into another cat if you have reliable petsitter. Three cats is no crowd yet. Maybe someone would have a good idea what kind of character to look for.

Originally Posted by icklemiss21

I am always in favour of adopting more cats, but you may end up having two cats ganging up on Z on her return from the vets

It is not about male or female or age, mine hate when I bring kittens home but are ok with adults, Autumn is better with males than females, the boys just give me that oh not another cat look now. It doesn't always work the typical a kitten is best route, sometimes you get a better idea of how the personalities will work with an adult cat

Thanks for everyone's replies, they certainly brought up more to think about.

mews2much, I would like to think a new cat would make good company, but there's always the fear of messing things up more.

Bunnelina,
I never knew about the three year old emotional maturity thing, very interesting. R seems to want to be Ms. Dominant, but she's such a scaredy cat, Z is much more relaxed and goes with the flow. That is interesting that you brought up a kitten. I initially wanted an older cat since personality would already be established, but I could see a kitten being less threatening. I know it's much easier to adopt out kittens, that's another reason I thought getting a young adult would be nice.

That's too funny that you worry about where the sick cats are in relation to yours, I do too. The boarding rooms are separate from the hospital rooms and if any cat has symptoms such as sneezing they are placed in the hospital rooms, and yes that has happened they told me. My father in law comes to take care of the cats at home, for free, so my only cost is boarding Z. The pet sitters I've called charge a flat rate per visit, but since I need them twice a day if Z. stays home it's expensive. If I didn't have my father in law I would go the route of the pet sitter.

icklemiss21,
Your concern is my concern. I don't like to gamble, I like things planned out and predictable. Most people that I've spoke to have suggested getting a male cat. My husband would love a male cat so he's not the only boy in the house. I thought getting an young adult cat would help in the established personality department, but a kitten might be less threatening.

Oh so much to think about. I will ultimately have to make a decision soon, so I'll keep you all posted on what I decide.

Thanks again for everyone's replies!

 

[icklemiss21]

I wanted a female cat so I am not the only girl in the house, Autumn worships the ground my BF walks on so that doesn't always work either, she does trust me more (she was feral) but she loves on him

but then I am the one who brushes her teeth, clips her claws, grooms her etc which although she doesn't mind now, she didn't always like

 

[bunnelina]

Originally Posted by jabojenny

I initially wanted an older cat since personality would already be established, but I could see a kitten being less threatening. I know it's much easier to adopt out kittens, that's another reason I thought getting a young adult would be nice.

I, too, believe in adopting adults, for the same reasons. But with two elderly cats, I felt that kitten — I was only going to adopt one but then I lost my mind — were the only option. It worked out fine. We have a teenaged male and female and adopted unrelated 10-week-old kittens, also male and female. Everyone gets along fine. (I think our older cats were afraid we'd keep bringing them another kitten every week, so they surrendered.)

It's true that kittens find homes fast, but I'm always leery of people who only want kittens! Are they going to tire of the kitten when it becomes a cat? A kitten may be much better off with us reluctant types. It's a huge relief for me when they are grown; babies are so fragile and such a responsibility.

I've found it's possible to tell a lot about their personalities at 10 weeks if you watch closely. I definitely could see what I was getting: a feral female "challenge" who is still skittish but sweet and gentle. Ferals tend to bond well with other cats. I also have a feral male snuggle-puss; his personality is transparent. At 9 months, they look like adults but still act like babies — that might be a nice age for you.