Thoughts And Advice Please!

[auntie ev]

Hello, All

Hoping for feedback. A few years ago I took in a young (8 month old) feral cat, Rosie. I brought her and her kittens into my home; once the kittens were of age, they were adopted by a friend. I kept Rosie as she was sweet & talkative, but very shy. I already knew no shelter here would take her. Luckily, she got on with my 16 year old boy, Henry, and they had two happy years before Henry passed of kidney disease.

Since then, Rosie has really bonded with me. I am her 'only human' though, as she is still shy & hides from people, even those she knows, like my friends. I've been thinking about getting Rosie a friend, as I do work & so she is alone for 8 hours a day. She's so sweet natured though, it's hard to tell if she minds it.

I volunteer for an animal rescue, and this summer helped to trap a small black cat, Griffin. His foster mom described him as playful and sweet; he even got along with her dog, which I took as a good sign. I recently took him in on a trial basis. I am keeping him in a separate room for now, and am letting he and Rose have supervised visits, for short periods. Generally they seem to be doing well - no hissing at all, barely a swat, but I have noticed Griffin has a tendency to get up high, and then pounce on, or chase Rosie.

I'll admit it makes me nervous. I don't want Rosie to be bullied, she is too sweet for that. I also don't want the intro of a new cat to change my relationship with Rose, as silly as that might sound. so - I've bought Feliway plug ins and am giving them lots of time to see how it goes. But at the moment I am wondering if I did the wrong thing, by bringing another cat in. Please, any thoughts or suggestions most welcome. I'll admit I am already feeling overwhelmed as I am also caring for my 82 year old mother who was recently diagnosed with cancer. So maybe the thinking is a little fuzzy. I'd be happy to talk this through with another cat owner. Thanks!

 

[surya]

I think you did the right thing. You just have to be patient. I find the black cats have great temperaments. I'm no cat behavior expert. But I think your kitty will be happier with a friend.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
To have the concern of not wanting your relationship with Rose to change is a valid thought.
I've read of additional cats making things quite different in some situations and the resident cat changed quite a bit.

Thinking out loud, what if you gave that little squirt Griffin back to the foster, even temporarily to see if your household calms down and your comfort level increases? You do have your hands full right now

She's so sweet natured though, it's hard to tell if she minds it

She may very well not - it's entirely possible that she's sleeping while you're away, and wakes when you're home to snuggle, eat, play and all the good things you represent to her.

It's possible that if you utilize a hiss (just like his mama would) along with distractions for Griffin to stop the pouncing and chasing, that they may be just fine.... I'll post a list of some toys that might work to channel that high energy of his.

 

[Furballsmom]

Here are some toys that a cat can self-entertain with;
Food Puzzles for Cats

20 Best Interactive Cat Toys: The Ultimate List (2018) | Heavy.com

Home - the Ripple Rug

 

[auntie ev]

Hi Surya,
Thanks for the reply. It's reassuring to be able to talk this out. He does seem to have a very sweet temperament with people especially. It hasn't been that long, but I've noticed that Rosie has no aggression towards him at all. It's just Griff - he has been pouncing on her or swatting her. Maybe because he's the new kid, he's just nervous. But it does concern me, I don't want Rose to be picked on. She's way too sweet. I guess I will have to give it time, as you say, and see how they do. Thank you for your feedback

 

[auntie ev]

Hi!
To have the concern of not wanting your relationship with Rose to change is a valid thought.
I've read of additional cats making things quite different in some situations and the resident cat changed quite a bit.

Thinking out loud, what if you gave that little squirt Griffin back to the foster, even temporarily to see if your household calms down and your comfort level increases? You do have your hands full right now


She may very well not - it's entirely possible that she's sleeping while you're away, and wakes when you're home to snuggle, eat, play and all the good things you represent to her.

It's possible that if you utilize a hiss (just like his mama would) along with distractions for Griffin to stop the pouncing and chasing, that they may be just fine.... I'll post a list of some toys that might work to channel that high energy of his.

Hi!
To have the concern of not wanting your relationship with Rose to change is a valid thought.
I've read of additional cats making things quite different in some situations and the resident cat changed quite a bit.

Thinking out loud, what if you gave that little squirt Griffin back to the foster, even temporarily to see if your household calms down and your comfort level increases? You do have your hands full right now


She may very well not - it's entirely possible that she's sleeping while you're away, and wakes when you're home to snuggle, eat, play and all the good things you represent to her.

It's possible that if you utilize a hiss (just like his mama would) along with distractions for Griffin to stop the pouncing and chasing, that they may be just fine.... I'll post a list of some toys that might work to channel that high energy of his.

Hi Furballs Mom,
Thanks very much for the feedback - that's helpful. I thought about that too - giving them a full week or two, to see how they do, and if it seems like Rosie is unhappy, I give Griff back to his foster. I don't suppose it will hurt him in the long run although I feel bad about ping-ponging him, but it is an option.

 

[auntie ev]

Here are some toys that a cat can self-entertain with;
Food Puzzles for Cats

20 Best Interactive Cat Toys: The Ultimate List (2018) | Heavy.com

Home - the Ripple Rug

The ripple rug looks great, looks like I would need some space to spread it out, but looks good

 

[Furballsmom]

I know, doesn't that look like it could be fun? I think there might be different sizes of similar products...

 

[auntie ev]

I know, doesn't that look like it could be fun? I think there might be different sizes of similar products...

I feel like even I could play with it.

 

[Furballsmom]

But yes, if you can distract him from the chasing and pouncing, that could make a big difference.
Your older kittie might be so sweet natured that she won't stop and smack him a bit LOL

 

[1 bruce 1]

What is Rosie's reaction when Griffin gets too playful? Does she run and hide, ignore him and pretend he's not there, or give him a "look" and walk off, etc.?
Have you noticed any changes in Rosie, not using the litter box, not eating as well, not wanting to be around you as much or wanting to be around you more?
There is nothing better to my ears (eyes?) than to hear/read about someone who wants to do right by their current animal but don't want to see them stressed out/bullied/upset by a change. You seem intuitive to her, and sensible enough in general to notice any huge problems.
If you notice Rosie acting extremely off, by not wanting to eat/come out of hiding/not wanting to hang out with you or clinging to you like it's the end of the world, that would be cause to consider a re-introduction. But if not, and if there's no aggression involved, I'd separate them when you're not around and continue to use common sense.

 

[1 bruce 1]

I feel like even I could play with it.

A cat feather-wand thing and I had a slight alteration one day, and when wife walked in she saw me tangled up and batting at it. I will never live that down.

 

[Furballsmom]

A cat feather-wand thing and I had a slight alteration one day, and when wife walked in she saw me tangled up and batting at it. I will never live that down.

Oh lordy me, that is TOO funny

 

[auntie ev]

A cat feather-wand thing and I had a slight alteration one day, and when wife walked in she saw me tangled up and batting at it. I will never live that down.

LOL - thanks for the laugh. That's great.

 

[auntie ev]

LOL - thanks for the laugh. That's great.

But yes, if you can distract him from the chasing and pouncing, that could make a big difference.
Your older kittie might be so sweet natured that she won't stop and smack him a bit LOL

she definitely won't Rosie is just too sweet. She'll just walk away.

What is Rosie's reaction when Griffin gets too playful? Does she run and hide, ignore him and pretend he's not there, or give him a "look" and walk off, etc.?
Have you noticed any changes in Rosie, not using the litter box, not eating as well, not wanting to be around you as much or wanting to be around you more?
There is nothing better to my ears (eyes?) than to hear/read about someone who wants to do right by their current animal but don't want to see them stressed out/bullied/upset by a change. You seem intuitive to her, and sensible enough in general to notice any huge problems.
If you notice Rosie acting extremely off, by not wanting to eat/come out of hiding/not wanting to hang out with you or clinging to you like it's the end of the world, that would be cause to consider a re-introduction. But if not, and if there's no aggression involved, I'd separate them when you're not around and continue to use common sense.

So far, Rosie just moves out of the way, or hides under the bed. She is eating, although a little bit less than normal. I have noticed she is not asking for belly rubs and does not seems as talkative with me. I have considered really slowing things down, and in fact 'put Griff to bed' early tonight, to give Rosie more space, but to be honest she doesn't seem quite herself. The only aggression has come from Griff - he has swatted her twice. Rosie has only sniffed him. After talking to furballsmom, I think what I may do is send Griff's foster mum a note with my concerns and see how it goes for two weeks. If Rosie is still unhappy by that time, then I will bring him back to the foster. Thank you for your input, really. Nice to hear I am not being unreasonable, but might be on the right track.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, and something you can try for Rosie is to play some classical harp music, or George Handel compositions - she sounds like she might be a bit stressed and this type of music can really help to relax a cat.

 

[auntie ev]

You know, when I first brought Rose into the house, I bought harp cds for her, and one that is supposed to be tuned specifically for cats, to calm them. I played them last night at bedtime for everybody including me

 

[Furballsmom]

Bless you, you smart person you

@Mamanyt1953 has this tea as well that could be a possibility;
... try 1-3 teaspoonfuls of chilled chamomile tea, up to 3 times a day. Administer via syringe, placing the tip between the cheek and gum, and injecting SLOWLY, allowing time to swallow. Use the commercial tea bags from the coffee/tea aisle of your local grocery store to insure that you are getting German chamomile, which is safe for cats. English, which often grows in gardens, is not.

I like the chamomile because it is gently calming without being actually sedating. No wobbly, drunk kitties staggering around.

 

[auntie ev]

Bless you, you smart person you

@Mamanyt1953 has this tea as well that could be a possibility;
... try 1-3 teaspoonfuls of chilled chamomile tea, up to 3 times a day. Administer via syringe, placing the tip between the cheek and gum, and injecting SLOWLY, allowing time to swallow. Use the commercial tea bags from the coffee/tea aisle of your local grocery store to insure that you are getting German chamomile, which is safe for cats. English, which often grows in gardens, is not.

I like the chamomile because it is gently calming without being actually sedating. No wobbly, drunk kitties staggering around.

I will try that too, thank you.

 

[1 bruce 1]

she definitely won't Rosie is just too sweet. She'll just walk away.

So far, Rosie just moves out of the way, or hides under the bed. She is eating, although a little bit less than normal. I have noticed she is not asking for belly rubs and does not seems as talkative with me. I have considered really slowing things down, and in fact 'put Griff to bed' early tonight, to give Rosie more space, but to be honest she doesn't seem quite herself. The only aggression has come from Griff - he has swatted her twice. Rosie has only sniffed him. After talking to furballsmom, I think what I may do is send Griff's foster mum a note with my concerns and see how it goes for two weeks. If Rosie is still unhappy by that time, then I will bring him back to the foster. Thank you for your input, really. Nice to hear I am not being unreasonable, but might be on the right track.

I think this is a good plan. If Griff had a foster parent that knows him, they may be able to offer you further advice, too!
If she's slightly stressed out, that's normal.
When we brought Baby Girl home (we weren't looking for a kitten, but apparently a kitten was looking for us) our resident top girl, Queen Bee, was not happy. She spent a lot of time hissing at Baby Girl through an ex pen, and when separated by a gate, spent a lot of time smacking it. She lost a bit of weight, not enough to make us panic, but she lost a few ounces probably just due to stress.
Our original plan was to find BG a new home, but we aren't the best foster parents ever and she stayed with us.
Today, they're not the best buds we hoped for but they get along just fine. And Queen Bee is now back to normal weight.
I think sometimes that "kitten speak" and kitten smell and just over all kitten-ness puts a lot of adult cats off. They speak "cat", not "kitten", just like some dogs speak "dog" but not "puppy" and some humans speak "adult" and not "toddler". Once the baby grows up, things settle down. The cats/dogs/humans/whatever become sociable and we all wonder how we got along without the new addition.
You're doing all the right stuff. I'd just relax if you can. Make sure Rosie has her "me" time with you (as you're doing) and Griff has his crazy kitten time, and things should iron out. It happens daily all over the world, after all.
There seems to be no real aggression here, which is great. If you were writing that one of the cats was taken to the vets weekly for stitches, I'd be worried a little but this really does seem like a healthy, normal cat meets new cat reaction.
Be observant, but don't worry.