Thinking about taking another jump...

[gengen10]

So... I've been too busy and stressed to even think about cats - other than being a doting caregiver to my sweet Emmy  However, now that my classes are over and my life is about to slow down a bit, I'm thinking about taking another jump into the "find-Emmy-a-friend" pool . . . the last time was so traumatic, but I think my earlier bad experiences made me paranoid.  Anyway, I just want some opinions from people who have introduced cats before.  Emmy is 3, healthy, affectionate and playful.  For the first year and a half or so of her life, she had a buddy that she got along with well.  She has now been the only cat for about 2 years, and seems a bit bolder, actually, than she did when she was playing the part of the submissive younger cat.  I would love to have another cat, but is it worth risking years of fighting and stress??  Is Emmy better off alone at this point?  I know plenty of people that have introduced cats with no problems, but everything I find online says that introducing cats is risky at best and disastrous at worst.  I don't think I could handle having it not work again.  

 

[stephenq]

Hi @gengen10

Look this over before deciding and please explain what was so traumatic the last time.  Details please.

There are several steps to a successful introduction, the goal being BFFs, not enemies or angry at you (especially the resident cat).  A careful introduction raises the stress level in incremental steps, allowing both cats, especially the resident cat time to acclimate to the stressor before being introduced to the next level.  You are going to move the "bar" closer and closer to the resident cat until the final step, a supervised face-to-face, becomes  a fender bender and not a car crash.

Step one: Complete separation, putting the new cat is a small room like a bathroom with food, litter and water.  Do not let the cats see each other - too much stress too soon.  Give the new cat time to adjust.  Give both cats time (a week+/-) to get used to this.  They will know each other is there.  Start feeding the resident cat nearer to the door, adjusting daily until he is at the door eating. Do voluntary scent exchange by rubbing the new cat's cheeks on a sock and then offering the sock as a gift to the resident. Don't force him to smell the sock, don't rub it on him. Observe his behavior and allow it.   Rub a clean sock on his cheeks and offer it to the new cat.  Continue to do this but never force either cat to interact with the other cat's sock.

When they are reasonably calm with everything in step one go to:

Step Two:  Allow the cats to see each other.  Two baby gates stacked on top of each other in the open door is a great way.  Cracking the door open and blocking it into position so they can't get through the door is another way.  With many cats the stress of this will make them revert, but it would have been much worse if you had started with this step.  Continue as if this was step one, but now with them seeing each other.  When they are both calm, no hissing or growling, you can go to:

Step Three: After eating meals and feeling satisfied (full stomach = less aggressive) and trimmed nails, you can start to do brief supervised introductions face to face.  Watch their body language and reactions and increase their time together until you are confident that they can manage on their own.

In General, treat the resident cat like he is King.  Don't do things to make him jealous. Don't discipline either cat for showing aggression, punishing them for what they feel is a normal behavior (and is normal for them) just raises the stress.  And follow your cats' lead on the speed of the introduction, there are no rules other than to listen to them.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

 

[gengen10]

Well, Emmy's former buddy had a bad case of feline herpes and attacked people, so he had to be given away.  when i brought the new kitty home in december, he seemed kind of sick, and Emmy actually tried to escape the house, which she NEVER does - I left a door cracked and she ran out.  Thankfully she came back.  I guess I'm just afraid that Emmy will be ragingly jealous after 2 years of singleness and the new kitten, which would be a rescue, would come with all sorts of health problems.  Creating a lot of problems in my head -- I know, right?