Thinking About Possibly Rehoming My Cat

[auntie]

I’m not sure if this is the right place for this post, but I would like to consider rehoming one of my two cats. We have a little Balinese and a big Siberian. I really pushed to get the Sib as a kitten last year; the Balinese seemed very lonely and was also sick (not contagious). I didn’t know if she would even live, and I saw a chance to get a nice healthy kitten. My mom bought her for us (we would rather have gotten rescue cats, but were trying to reduce allergy problems). I thought she could be a friend to the Balinese and to my daughter.

Anyway, we’v had her since Christmas. Yes, the two cats get along great. I tried my best at the intro and it was a success. But the Sib doesn’t like my daughter, or my husband, and only tolerates me because I feed her. She’s massive in size—she takes up so much room. Her fur is everywhere. She is destroying our belongings, and she tries to nip and scratch people. I think she hates being an indoor cat. All day she sits in the window pressed against the screen. However, I don’t think letting her out would be a good idea in our neighborhood.

My husband is (understandably) resentful toward me for pushing to get her, and he’s even allergic to her. We can’t have overnight guests without a lot of fuss because she’s commandeered the extra room. Our house is really small and it’s getting to be extremely stressful. I wish I could rehome her, preferably to someone in the countryside so she can go out and hunt. She is beautiful, she looks like a cat model from Instagram or something...a blue-eyed lynx point. Since she is young (not quite 1) and gorgeous I hope it wouldn’t be too hard to find a suitable place for her.

Does anyone have experience with this? Please don’t judge me harshly—I’m in over my head, and I know I made a mistake getting this cat. I’m really sorry. I’m just looking for some perspectives here. Thanks

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Do you have a true no-kill shelter? Maybe the people your Mom got her from? Nextdoor?
In the meantime, could you try calming diffusers or treats to help her cope with everyone's stress? I'm assuming she's been to the vet...
I'm so sorry this didn't work out for you - bless your heart for having tried and for handling all the emotional struggles. That's got to be VERY challenging!!
Thunderease and Sentry make diffusers, there are treats; Calm-a-mile (or even chamomile tea but only the kind you make from tea bags--maybe for you as well ) Composure, there are collars, etc.

 

[auntie]

Thanks so much Furballsmom . I’m not sure how safe the “no-kill” shelter is here, but there are lots of safe fostering agencies I could contact. Also I can think of 3 people I would ask first, who may want her.
I’m not sure about the calming things; I have a powder made from casein that I have had success with in the past. But she’s really not a bad cat; she has never actually hurt anyone. It’s more of an issue of how she exists as part of the family, and the different kinds of resources (emotional, financial, time, etc) she takes up. It’s hard to explain why this is so stressful. Probably because it’s my fault for insisting on getting her in the first place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for understanding.

 

[catsknowme]

Welcome to TCS! yes, you have come to the right place. I am sorry for the disappointment for you guys. My Maine Coon is in a sort of foster placement. When he was 7, my dad died suddenly so my adult disabled daughter and I moved in with my mom (family/cultural decision). My MC was an inside/outside cat (inside only, his exercise needs were too high to prevent kidney/bladder problems) and my mom's yard is adjacent to a busy street. Plus there was an unmanaged feral cat colony in the back part of the yard; a 22 lbs MC , all muscle & no fat, - the cat wars would have been epic. So I arranged for a property caretaker at my place & my MC decided to move into an adjacent place (with my vet's part-time receptionist who has Australian shepherds and several cats) and come back for visits. When my sister moves back to CA, hopefully this year, I will be able to stay part-time at my place and see my "official" cats a lot more often.
For your daughter, a rescue kitten might be a better fit. A Siberian should have no problem finding an awesome home. You can contact Siberian Cat Rescue in Texas and get their input - from what I understand, there is sometimes a waiting list of screened & approved adopters.
When my sis became allergic to her cats, she did the shots. Then she moved to the Mid-West and her new, cat-loving allergist recommended complete inspection and repair of HVAC and roof plus replacing the flooring to hardwood. She did all that and her allergies, except for hayfever, went away. Routine interior cleaning in her car helps, too. So that might be a consideration for your household, albeit a major expense.
I can totally understand why you wanted a Siberian - the Big Breeds have plus-sized personalities. They also have high intelligence, intense play/hunt drives and a need for lots of exercise; they are working breeds, their heritage includes being farm cats and excellent ships' cats, venturing on the high seas (a lot like Border Collies and Husky dogs).They are the quintessential family cat if the kids' lifestyle allows for plenty of romp and adventure.

 

[GoldyCat]

Did you get the Siberian from a breeder? If so, read the contract. Many breeders have a clause in the contract that you must return the cat to the breeder if you are unable to keep her for any reason.

 

[auntie]

GoldyCat
I did, and I intend to check in with the breeder. My cat is not CFA registered, though, so it’s not as much of a concern in that regard.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi again. I was referring to calming products due to her picking up on you and your family's stress. She's aware and very sensitive to it. A calming product is, in this case, for her benefit. ...and like I say, that tea might help you as well

 

[GoldyCat]

GoldyCat
I did, and I intend to check in with the breeder. My cat is not CFA registered, though, so it’s not as much of a concern in that regard.

Even if the cat isn't registered the breeder may take her back. You're not likely to get a refund on the purchase price, but that's something you would need to negotiate with the breeder.

 

[Furballsmom]

No worries, I really do understand. Sometimes it just turns out like this. When our Maine coon died 8 or so years ago, one of the cats I tried adopting was a quirky, smart, independent-minded calico. She warmed to me but there was no bonding with anyone else. I was in tears back at the original adopting organization, trying to hold it all in check to try and not upset her, and pretty much failed.
However, it worked out better for her because they fostered her as opposed to her being put back with the multitudes. And, we eventually got the Big Fellow in my avatar photo, and the rest is history of a wonderful win-win all around.

 

[auntie]

Even if the cat isn't registered the breeder may take her back. You're not likely to get a refund on the purchase price, but that's something you would need to negotiate with the breeder.

Oh, there’s no way I would be asking for a refund. The mistake was 100% mine

 

[Furballsmom]

The mistake was 100% mine

Refund or otherwise, you didn't know. There was no way for you to know.

 

[catsknowme]

Refund or otherwise, you didn't know. There was no way for you to know.

I agree! It is hard enough to know how things will work out with a new machine (ex: cars, vacuum cleaner, blender, washer,toaster,etc) let alone with a sentient being. The main thing here is that you are able to responsibly find a better situation for your cat as well as get a replacement kitten for your daughter to love. (I don't recommend a puppy because if you had the time and energy for a puppy, you would have had more than enough time for intensive exercise, play and grooming for your Siberian. and the behavioral issues for a.puppy/dog can be harder to correct).

 

[auntie]

I agree! It is hard enough to know how things will work out with a new machine (ex: cars, vacuum cleaner, blender, washer,toaster,etc) let alone with a sentient being. The main thing here is that you are able to responsibly find a better situation for your cat as well as get a replacement kitten for your daughter to love. (I don't recommend a puppy because if you had the time and energy for a puppy, you would have had more than enough time for intensive exercise, play and grooming for your Siberian. and the behavioral issues for a.puppy/dog can be harder to correct).

Thanks! You are funny...no replacement kitty for me, I think I’ve learned my lesson. If the Sib leaves us, one will be enough. In fact I do groom her, and exercise & play with wand toys etc (she gets alarmingly quick breaths after hard exercise so I’m cautious). but yeah, a puppy is not in the cards, since I have 2 jobs. Anyway right now my husband is in favor of keeping her, so it’s all up in the air. I just wish she could go outside, it would change her life.

 

[auntie]

Refund or otherwise, you didn't know. There was no way for you to know.

Thanks so much. I guess you’re right but I really didn’t think it all through too well (giant-breed cat, 1000sq foot house...) :|

 

[Furballsmom]

Do you have a way to build a catio? Or to train her to go for walks in a harness with a leash?

 

[Furballsmom]

right now my husband is in favor of keeping her,

He IS??!! wow - this must be some cat, to have won him over...?

 

[auntie]

He IS??!! wow - this must be some cat, to have won him over...?

I think he feels a sense of duty, honestly. From the outside, it does kind of seem bizarre to offload a pet.

 

[Furballsmom]

I think he feels a sense of duty, honestly.

well, this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Is that your baby in your avatar photo?

 

[auntie]

Furballsmom yes, that’s her all right. Thanks so much again for your support

 

[Furballsmom]

You are so very welcome, please know I'm thinking about you, her and all of you!