The ring is off (very long)

[winwin]

Fwan, run from this loser as fast as you can.

You are worth more than to throw yourself away on a lump of sewage like that.

Best of luck, Girl, stand tall and don't let people walk on you.

Leonard

 

[katspixiedust]

Ohhhh Fran, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. You're aboslutely right to leave him though, and like others said, the best thing to do is get him out of the house so that you can begin to heal on your own. You're so strong, that's apparent, and I know you'll bounce back better than ever. It'll take time, but I'm sure you know that. I know you'll hear this 8million times, but I'm going to say it anyway: you deserve SO much better. You're absolutely right to tell him that not everyone cheats. You deserve someone who won't cheat on you and won't want to meet other women. There's someone willing to do the right thing for you out there, you just haven't met him yet. So, take this time for yourself. Be alone and live your life without him or any other man, and when the time is right someone so much better will come along. If you need anything, you know I'll be here for you!!

 

[slitty_kittay]

Fran, I'm so sorry

You sound like a great girl and I think he deserves a good kick up the bottom for what he has done to you! Be strong, and dont let him boss you around!!

Remember although it hurts right now, you will look back on this day as a good thing in the future - I guarantee it!!

 

[darkeyedgirl]

Looks like his control powers worked; he tore down your self esteem enough to make you DOUBT YOURSELF. Guys like your soon-to-be-EX don't deserve wonderful ladies like YOU Fran!!!

I do feel badly for you but my first reaction is pure anger. Against HIM. When a man "makes" a woman change how she wears her make up or clothes, that is the sign of an insecure control-freak. I have been there before!!! And it is just awful!

Plus with him living there (sorry to hear the apartment is in HIS name... that makes things harder), you will continue to feel badly... about yourself. He's throwing this bulgarian chic in your face, his cheating, lies, everything.

I just thank the stars you didn't marry him, will NOT marry him. You are worth more than this guy will give you.

Don't hang around the apartment. Go out... get away. Only come back there to sleep. Avoid him until he is gone, until you are gone & living somewhere else. Ignore everything he says from this point forth. Someday you'll look back and thank yourself for being strong enough to end this relationship.

I know it might feel like "he ended it", but that's not the case. You're the strong one, he's the weakling loser. Chin up and be proud of yourself for ending it now.

 

[fwan]

Thank you everyone for your replies,
I know he didnt break it off i did. because i told him to take his ring off and that it was over and no way to go back.
today he has been getting the guilt trip, because my eyes are so puffy from crying, so now he is taking me out to the cinemas tonight.
I suppose we have to enjoy the little time we have left right?

 

[krazy kat2]

I am so sorry this is hapening to you. Fom reading past posts about his mom and his nit-picky ways, I worried that it might come to something like this. I know it hurts right now, but better it happen now that you invest any more time with him, waste the best years of your life, and then have to pick up the pieces. I have been there, and there is no hurt like it. It is a big shock now, but in a few days you will start to get angry, as well you should, and believe it or not, you will get some clarity as to what to do next. The biggest point to remember is that you have done nothing wrong, and you have nothing to apologize for. Please don't disappear from TCS, we are all concerned about you and want to know what is happening.

 

[flisssweetpea]

Fran, now is the time to stand strong and start to walk your own path. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Put your energies into finding out exactly what you can do to get your independence - your own place etc. where you and Teufel can start to build your lives.

We're all here for you.

 

[fwan]

Krazy kat, i couldnt and definetely wouldnt dissapear from TCS, if i cant get on i will call someone to let them know. So they can advise you all.
Ash_bct and i think susan have my number
If anybody else wants it they can PM me, I can also call for free all over the world since i got this flat rate.

 

[evnshawn]

You've gotten a lot of good advice here, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry your heart had to break like this. You deserve better.

Also, that thing about all men and women cheating? That's a rationalization on his part (AND something that shows he plans to cheat on every woman he's with for the rest of his life), and it's also a complete pile of crap. He is just flat wrong about that.

 

[captiva]

Fran,

I have no doubt that within a very short time you will outgrow this young man, regardless of how it hurts right now, and move forward into a better destiny.

I couldn't have said it any better than Eddie. You are a very strong young woman with a level head on your shoulders. It's time to move forward with your life because he will continue to take advantage of you. I know it seems that you have wasted two years , but you are young with a whole lifetime in front of you . This is one of life's little hiccups that we all have to go through to make us stronger and wiser .

Mega hugs to you

 

[fwan]

to each one of you.
I know i have gotten really great advice so far.
Thank you everyone for taking your time to reply to my post, It really means alot to me.
I see the bright side of this and i am kind of glad that its ending.

 

[jennyr]

I hear what you are saying but if I were you I would not go anywhere with him or 'enjoy what is left'. You must make him realise that htere is NOTHING left that you want to share with him, if he is not prepared to share everything he has with you ( and you exclusively) Sorry to sound harsh but that is the reality, however hard it is. Call another friend, go out to the cinema, but leave him behind. Please.

 

[katachtig]

Originally Posted by fwan

I see the bright side of this and i am kind of glad that its ending.

Fran,

Keep strong and move on with your life. While he has never physically abused you, he has proven that he doesn't respect you. You are extraordinary young woman and deserve much better. This is a rough patch but you can keep focused on your goal.

Hugs.

 

[squirtle]

Fran, I am sorry you are going through this and everyone has given you such good advice. I don't think you should go to the movies with him... I know you want to spend the last time you have with him having a good time. But I think you may be giving into him... He doesn't deserve to have anything to do with you. This isn't the first time her has put you through this. He just continues to disrespect you and nothing will change

You made mention of your mom a few posts back. Does she live near you? Would she allow you to stay with her until you are back on your feet? I know you mention that she is an alcoholic, and trust me I know how hard that is to deal with, but if it is not an unsafe environment for you (as long as she doesn't get violent with you) I think you would be better off there. Things are just dragging on with you staying there. The pain you feel right now you are going to go through all over again everytime you hear him speaking to that girl. Also, what are the chances that he decides he made the wrong decision and wants to work things out with you.... Only to do the same thing again a few months later. Honey, I think you need to get away now before 2 wasted years turns into much more. Chalk it all up to experience, learn from it and move on. You don't want to marry this guy, so any time spent from here on out is just wasted.... I went through this in a relationship and was with the guy from 15-19... Those were valuable years to me, all wasted.

 

[talon]

Fran we are all thinking of you and sending you good vibes. Y ou are doing the right thing - right now you need to depend on no one but yourself - and you can do it! Both my parents were alcholic and I went straight from their house to a boyfriends house (who became my now ex-husband) - it was the worst thing I could have done. I then went "on my own". It was me and my two cats - it was the best thing I could have ever done. It was hard, but I found myself.

I too suggest that you don't go anywhere with him - it is over and the longer you draw it out - the harder and worse it will be on you (in my opinion of course)

 

[gilly]

Fran

You deserve so much better you really do! He's being a pig and it's certainly not fair on you to stick around with him. He's done it before and he's done it again, I certainly wouldn't forgive him. It's horrible I know but we are here for you... all of us

Please take care of yourself.... A good thing to do is have a little walk, in the park or something to clear your mind and have a good think. I normally find that helps.

 

[kellyyfaber]

Originally Posted by squirtle

Fran, I am sorry you are going through this and everyone has given you such good advice. I don't think you should go to the movies with him... I know you want to spend the last time you have with him having a good time. But I think you may be giving into him... He doesn't deserve to have anything to do with you. This isn't the first time her has put you through this. He just continues to disrespect you and nothing will change

You made mention of your mom a few posts back. Does she live near you? Would she allow you to stay with her until you are back on your feet? I know you mention that she is an alcoholic, and trust me I know how hard that is to deal with, but if it is not an unsafe environment for you (as long as she doesn't get violent with you) I think you would be better off there. Things are just dragging on with you staying there. The pain you feel right now you are going to go through all over again everytime you hear him speaking to that girl. Also, what are the chances that he decides he made the wrong decision and wants to work things out with you.... Only to do the same thing again a few months later. Honey, I think you need to get away now before 2 wasted years turns into much more. Chalk it all up to experience, learn from it and move on. You don't want to marry this guy, so any time spent from here on out is just wasted.... I went through this in a relationship and was with the guy from 15-19... Those were valuable years to me, all wasted.

I agree with Tanya. Fran, Honey he doesn't even deserve your friendship. You really should try to get out of there ASAP. The longer you're there, the more hurt you will feel and the more chances he has of wearing you down to giving him another chance. You are way to beautiful, funny, and sweet to be with a big jerk like Ben (and his mom is a psycho). I'm sorry you're feeling hurt right now. I wish we were closer so I could take you out for a "girls day out" at the mall to cheer you up. Just know that you have us here at TCS to turn to for support and comfort.

I'll be thinking about you and sending you "strength vibes".

 

[mom of franz]

Fran you don't need an emotionally abusive relationship. Send him packing. And after you have calmed down, get tested for EVERY STD out there. You will survive this. Which is what everyone says when they are not in the situation...buit it's true. When you are ready, get yourself involved in groups, reading groups, whatever. One of the things that makes this harder on you is how you have isolated yourself. This is a huge mistake (spoken from personal experience) Hugs to you!

 

[ali012281]

Fran. I just saw this now. I'm at a loss for words. I am so sorry sweetie. I don't have anything that I could say that the other TCSers havn't told you. Just know that I'm thinking about you. We are all here to listen and try and help you through this. You are in my prayers. Be strong.

 

[purr]

Oh, I feel so sorry for you.

Your heart must be broken.

He's is such a complete loser! Absolutely not worth your time or your tears! Friendship? Friends don't do this to each other. He's not your friend.

I know it has to really be awful being stuck there, but just try to avoid him as much as possible, and work toward finding a job and getting OUT. He is such a jerk!!! It makes me SO angry that he can get away with doing this to people.