The Other Babies.

[Fyrekit(Proud Cat Mommy)]

Apart from Snowshoe, who I have pictures of....we lost several other kitties those due to horrible people deliberately running them over. Dark Crystal aka Phantom- I didn't know you for long but your loss is felt. Sable- You were so pretty. My beautiful little lilac point himalayan. I know that you were born feral, and that you needed a lot of work to trust us big things, but Mommy put in the work, and created a treat monster in the process. Every time I took the treats out you got so very excited. I still miss you enforcing me going to bed, if you didn't fall asleep on my hand to make me be done on the laptop you were grumbling as you tried to burrow under my blankets, then grumbling because I wasn't laying down so you could snuggle into my stomach. I know you weren't technically mine but I guess the others forgot to tell you that and you picked me anyway. I don't know that I can ever forgive the people that hit you and then threw you into the yard like you meant nothing. They were wrong, you meant so much to me and your paws left prints in my heart that time and loss can never remove. Stormshadow- I still expect you to be sleeping at the end of the bed, or on my pillows or to be sauntering up to me and say 'hi' while staring up at me with those big golden eyes that seemed even bigger against all your black fluff. Your loss is felt every single day, but I also feel so honored to have gained your trust and affection. Black Moon- Little Lady, what in the world can I say about you? No more face tramples to get me up even if they did fail, no more almost tortie with the cream chin going about her rounds and killing rats your own size. Your dog still misses you. But life must go on. Your littermate Obsidian is clingier than ever with me. All of you have left such big holes in my heart that no other cat can fill but the others need me too, and I know you are still looking down at me purring the whole time as I make sure the others are happy and healthy and know that they are loved. The one major thing about my behavior that has changed is that I am now compelled to go outside before going to sleep and do a round of the property making sure everyone is present and accounted for, so far everyone is but I still worry so much that I'm going to find another of you precious fur babies dead by the road.

 

[Fyrekit(Proud Cat Mommy)]

It's still very hard seeing Nightfall, Stormshadows full sibling but they weren't littermates. He came inside tonight and I just about cried they look so similar, Nightfall is a little fluffier and doesn't have the face tufts but other than that they are identical right down to the color of their eyes. I know he shouldn't make me so sad.....and I'm trying not to be but I miss Stormshadow so. Edit- perhaps doing this little tribute to them was a bad idea......it just seems to have ripped open the wounds left by the losses. There just is no excuse for some people. Why would any human being deliberately hit a cat? Especially one that has a collar and is clearly owned. And Black Moon......she wasn't even in the road.....but loved to sit just off of it in our driveway watching the world off the property. I'm going to go do a check of the cats outside and try not to think about how I'd feel if I found another one gone.......

 

[di and bob]

I know your pain. We live by a busy road and have buried many that we find there. I also have seen several people actually swerve, trying to hit one crossing the road. We feed the ferals that are in the area, so the dumped strays also show up, bewildered and emaciated. I have found homes for most, although many do die crossing the road. I pray that there is a special place in Hell for these people, especially when an elderly or pregnant female shows up, the confusion and fear are so evident on their sweet faces. We have 3 house cats, so the ones that show up have to be stay outside, although two are now our outside cats. ( and these are inside too, much of the day,my husband says we can't fit any more in, but you never know....) I started putting them in the shop at night so I don't have to worry. I sleep better not worrying what I might find the next morning. But that doesn't help the ferals and the new ones. I, too, look at the road several times a day, and my heart always drops when I see something laying in it. Most of the time it is a raccoon or a possum, but I mourn their deaths too.
The only thing that keeps me going is to think that for no matter how short of time I gave them some comfort and love. Please try not to think of honoring their names and lives with your tribute as fresh wounds. You did nothing wrong except to love them Yes, it hurts to feel the pain of a broken heart and live with the emptiness in your home and your soul, but you made such a difference in their lives and gave them for a short while what they wanted and needed the most, your love. Each and every one of them made your life a little more full, they all love you and want the best for you, as you would want for them if you were the first to go. You will be blessed for what you gave them.
I wish we never developed this fear that compels us to watch that road, it seems like a nightmare. Sometimes I just want to give up, the pain is too great. Until the next one shows up.......You are not alone, we are legion, there are so many just like us because there are so many lost and abandoned little ones. The shelters are full , new homes are dwindling. But many are being lost too, and most don't seem to care. We need to find better sterilization/birth control methods, like medication types, several are being used overseas. I do what I can neutering and spaying almost every cat that shows up, I've actually lost count of how many.
Thank you for your wonderful tribute to these precious lives. They meant something to you, their lives had value. They are so lucky to have found you and each and every one thanks you and loves you. You have a bond with them, it is spiritual so can never leave you. Use your memories of these little ones to bring you comfort, try to celebrate having them share your life's path for a little while. That is priceless. I cry with you, I give you my condolences because I understand. Take care of yourself, there are many who still need you. I'll pray for you all.
RIP little ones, for Snowshoe, Phantom, Sable, Stormshadow, Black Moon-Little Lady, for ALL the countless others who leave this world way too soon. You are loved, you will forever be missed. You are kept alive in a loving heart for as long as you are remembered, for eternity. Goodnight, sleep tight, precious ones!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gently, Little Ones, dream you deep. Never forgotten, not for one moment.

 

[Fyrekit(Proud Cat Mommy)]

I......have a sad update that I have to make to this thread.......Nightfall, the other fluffy in the extreme black cat.....left us around two months ago. It wasn't pretty. Not at all. Again........drivers around here and my housemates reluctance to even try to convert the cats to indoor only. I just.......I don't think I will ever forget what I saw on that road. The poor fluffy rug as his nickname was just like Stormshadow's was the walking carpet, he was the walking rug. But...whoever hit him did so much damage that his guts were strewn out to his full length around him. I pray that perhaps this time I will be able to convince the housemates that letting the cats roam freely is just too dangerous. Haven't they lost enough cats to cars already? Haven't I had enough loss in the year I have been here? I don't want to go through this again. I don't think my heart could take it. Bad enough that nine months later the hole left by Sable is still just as raw, bad enough that every day I see things that remind me of the other lost ones. Enough is enough.

 

[di and bob]

I go through the exact feelings you are, it is soul wrenching, and tears a new hole in my heart every time I bury one of the little ones that that come to me for food and love. I have so many graves now it is truly heartbreaking. The unwanted, the dumped, the tiny babies that are born in the wild. We have to cling to the fact that you made a difference in their life. That for a little while they knew love and care. I cling to the fact that I have ten year olds taht have navigated my road for so many years, and not dwell on the fact that it takes just one mistake..... There are so many cats and a limited amount of caring, loving hearts such as yours. They need you. You need them. Yes the only way to protect them completely is to bring them in. I pray one day that you can do so, either through convincing your housemates or getting new ones who have a bigger heart. Each cat you have lost has gave you something to hold forever, their memories. Don't dwell on the sad end, celebrate on knowing them at all and what a difference you made in their lives. The karma you have gained is wonderful, the repeated blows you have received to your soul are horrible, but in time will heal to something you can tuck away, because you know you did all you could with what you had. My heart and stomach always drop when I think of all the deaths, but then I think of all the happiness they brought to my life, and I know I brought some to theirs.
It hurts, it hurts so much it is almost unbearable to carry, but for that little while we made such a difference and brought so much to those little lives.Don't let this harden your heart, don't let the pain of the past change your loving soul, there is always the promise of a better future, and you will be rewarded for caring for these precious ones when they needed it the most. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, sending you hugs and empathy, take care of yourself, you are a good person in a world that seems not to care.