the once ferral cat that will not trust humans...

[catrina7]

this now 6 year old neutered male once ferral cat has lived with me for a year now....he still doesnt trust, watches me intensly for any flub ups (mostly anger or any aggresion (including a females horse voice) has decided to be intensly angry inside, and is obviously upset, but he does not act out at all, rendering my getting help with this not possible so far..... he loves cat calming music, fishing pole toy 24/7... with no outward behaviors requiring any human interaction. this is unheard of, and it is real in my home. he is on survival mode, and the most intelligant cat iv ever known...he is an orange short haired tabby...beautiful coat... but doesnt fight...bite, scratch, urinate (spray) inappropriatly...he doesnt like being touched most of the time, as he can sense when i am a angry (even not directly at my ferral kitty)..even before even i know im angry at something else, (not my kitty).... if he doesnt sense anger, or anxiety of any kind, im  ok to trust, pet him, or let me be close....i .dont try to touch...he sniffs me out, than decides if i can be trusted...when i do touch him, and most of the time, his body revolts as tho he were electricaly shocked...or like an angry adolecent child, pulls away, or throws youre hand off...the vets comment when i was presenting this was..."you have a very sweet kitty here"...and he can be, but he also is smart enough not to present a troubled kitty to strangers.

here is the question...all people feel anger from time to time. what does one do when my once ferral kitty 1 year ago senses anger, and to my kitty, this means "red flag"? does this mean my once ferral kitty will never trust me? im getting very frustrated, as i repeatedly say to kitty, "i love you...cant you see? i iove you' we have been thru so much together! i cant even think of "throwing" him away, and yet iv been miserable with this cats mistrust...

yes, i got him a 4 month old spayed female kitten...he loves her...she loves him, and she also is very devoted to him!...it is such a privelage to watch these 2 kittys relate to each other...they love each other so....she, now 9 months old is very athletic, fun, effectionate, sweet, and was trusting....not in the last 3 months tho, ..my 6 year old once ferral kitty, has been  teaching my now 9 month old kitten (my baby), not to trust me...(humans if you will) she egnores me unless older brother kitty lets her know its safe...which isnt offten... .....it is sweet the way big brother cat  protects his adopted little kitten sister, and at the same time, its not nessesary.... i am not an out of average person behavior wise. im average period ...and yet .im sick with not knowing what to do!!! as i said previously, my ferral kittys behavior is unheard of for our ferral kittys normal behavior patterns...

i (67 yrs old) live alone in an apartment, we all like peace and not alote of loud noise in this family....on adopting my ferral kitty, it was stated he needs to be in a quiet home, no children or other pets..he stayed at the back of his cubicle the whole time he was at the humane societys animal shelter. he never did anything else there.....the only aggresive thing he did when i got him home once out of his special space needed untill he adjusted some to his new environment was jump from high spot to high spot growling scaring me....cats do this for fun when they are just being mischievious...at the time he was angry and very scared....does anyone have feedback on this?

 

[cat nap]

Hello @catrina7,

Actually, your once feral, 6 year old cat, sounds very normal to me. Some cats, even non-feral, do not like to be touched, and only approach people on their own terms.

Some cats are very sensitive to being touched, but this does not mean that he does not trust you, but rather finds contact too overwhelming, at the time.

It sounds like you have a good handle on things with the cat calming music, and using interactive play sessions with the fishing pole, to both bond, exercise, and keep your cats happy.
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If you can change your thinking, and see it from your 6 year old cat's perspective, then perhaps him not wanting to be touched is just something that you can accept, as part of his cat personality.

It's so excellent of you, for getting him a spayed female kitten for a playmate.

Because the kitten is still very young, at 9 months, you can use daily time, to bond with the kitten, by also using play sessions, ping pong balls, cat toys, food treats, and just having the kitten sleep near you, to further create trust.

Kittens go through various phases when growing up, learning, and socializing, so she may just be in that 'independent phase' of not wanting to be around her human, all the time.

Many kittens do enjoy their independence, and like to go off and sleep on their own, in quiet corners of the home, as many cats do.

From what you have described, your once feral cat, has come a long way from the scared and timid cat, who stayed well back in his cubicle.

He does trust and love you, but is an independent cat by nature.

Your young cat is still learning her place in the home, and she may not be the 'cuddly, lap-cat type of kitty', but that is okay, too.

Many of us, do not really have lap-cats, and just adjust to our various cats, with all their different personality types, and enjoy all the daily activities that they do.

As you rightly said, it is "such a privilege to watch 2 kitties relate to each other" and grow together.

There is nothing better, but being entertained, and being around them. We are the lucky ones.

 

[RLG]

I hope things are going ok