The Last Time

[furrypurry]

As I posted, I had to let my beautiful Jaspurr go on Sunday, the 1st. A mere four days ago. I am in misery right now and I know nothing can save me except time. What keeps running through my mind are all the “Last times” and trying to remember them.

The last time....
I got that adoring look from him

He walked up to me purring with that magnificent tail waving

I had a good snuggle session with him (before he got too sick and couldn’t breathe)

He brought me a toy ball

He ate all his dinner

I heard him eating dry food from his bowl, makng the little tinkling sound I knew so well

I saw him asleep on the cat tree

I saw him sleeping on his back

He was asleep with his head laying on those beautiful crossed paws

He followed me to the bathroom, laundry room, etc.

He jumped on the bed wanting his breakfast

I gave him a good brushing (once again, afraid to hurt him)

I washed his face

I trimmed his claws

He slept next to me on the sofa

He jumped on the coffee table

He played with his favorite football toy

He reacted to catnip

He chirped at me when I coughed or sneezed

He “played turtle” under the bed with just his head out

I had to chase him down to keep him from eating something he found on the floor


Damn it hurts so bad. All these little things we take for granted suddenly become the things we want to hold onto when we realize they are gone forever.

I do recall the last time I kissed him and cried into his fur.

 

[catlover73]

I am sorry for your loss of Jaspur. Our fur babies are never with us long enough. We are never ready to say goodbye. It is great that you have all of these memories of the time you shared. You are definitely correct in saying only time can ease the pain of loss. I have been where you are now a few times over the years. I know with me personally that eventually the memories will become happy memories instead of bringing sadness. The pain never goes away completely but we learn to establish a new normal in time. I can not tell you how long this will take because it is different for each person. No matter how much it hurts knowing when it is time say goodbye is a final act of love. Jaspur will always live on in a special place in your heart. Love transcends death even though it hurts. A piece of your heart and love has gone with Jaspur to guide her to the rainbow bridge. Jaspur is now an angel watching over you. I wish I had magic words to take a way your pain but I do not. I share my tears with you and offer hugs during this difficult time.


Please know that you will have a lot of support in this community. Many of us have been where you are now and understand all too well what you are going through. We are hear to listen and offer support.

 

[furrypurry]

Thank you. I have been here before, too, 17 years ago. But that was a 21 year old girl who had lived out her life. Jaspurr was 11 and had cancer, and while I am thankful for those years, he deserved more. As the saying goes, cancer sucks.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Again, rest you gentle, Sweet Jaspurr, dream you deep.

Slowly, ever so slowly, those "last times" will begin to form sweet memories, not just "last times," but "life times." Love never dies, you know. It changes form, but it continues on, still Love. Love abides. Jaspurr will never leave you. He remains with you, unseen, but sometimes felt, loving you as always.

 

[Plumeria]

Yes, this is the worst kind of pain. Losing your baby, the love of your life, that precious life perhaps more important than your own.....prematurely. It guts you. Makes you question everything. Time does make you stronger. I know you're in the midst of the pain right now, but you are doing a heck of a job honoring his memory by telling us about him. He really is a beautiful cat and the love you two built will never die. Your Jaspurr will always be with you, just like my Leroy will be with me for life.

 

[melontine]

I'm sorry for your loss. Jaspurr, what an adorable name. He was so loved by you and the people you surround yourself with. You did good by him, no one else would have loved him the same way. He was happy, and he made you happy. That'll always be with you, everything he meant and all the memories you share.
It hurts now, and it'll hurt for some time. But it's not the end, he'll be there waiting for you on the rainbow bridge. Until then, smile and never stop loving.

 

[di and bob]

All those little things are memories you will treasure forever. Because he was a big part of your life and a family member that will be missed forever. Try not to dwell on the end, it changes nothing and only brings heartache. Do not let his death be more then his life. He was in your life for a reason, to bring you love and happiness. Because of that love, he would want you to go forward and find happiness and peace once more, just as you would want for him if you were the first to go. If you had never meant him at all, what a horrible loss! He brought so much....
His new path will forever follow yours, his tiny soul is forever tied to your own. My thoughts and prayers are with you both, take care of yourself......RIP sweet Jaspurr. You will be dearly missed and have a secure place in a loving heart for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[les26]

Oh yes, it is a horrible feeling, you feel like you too will die and really don't care if you do, but with time and prayers and love and talking it out those last times will fade into just memories and not be so harsh, and it is always easier to think of bad things rather than good, but in time you will. But yes, I am sure that you thought you would have him for more than 11 years, you got a bit shortchanged but one never ever knows when they will have to leave us, but you will see him again one day and it will be "first times" not last times......

I have found the herb Holy Basil to be most helpful in times of stress and need and it is not harmful or addicting nor does it have many side effects, just saying.....

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

We are here for you to listen and talk too, we understand and wish we could absorb some of your pain right now....

 

[Rini]

I am sending you love and prayers. I am short on words at the moment, as this made me tear up but please know that he is always with you.

It's not the last time. You will see him again.