- Joined
- Jan 24, 2018
- Messages
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I lost my lover almost 2 months ago. She was my person. It doesn't feel real still, and when it feels slightly real it hurts too much and I shut down.
Its been 56 days without you.
56 days without you sleeping nestled into my aide.
56 days without you waiting at the door for me to tell me you missed me.
56 days not knowing how to breathe, how to think, how to function.
56 days of feeling like I'm hollow and that theres nothing left for me to be here for.
56 days of being broken into so many pieces I can't see how I will ever be okay again.
56 days of pain and tears and screaming at the sky wishing I could just bring you back and hold you in my arms one last time.
Just one last time of smelling the nape of head and kissing your sweet little cheeks.
The nights hurt the most, and mornings hurt just as bad. How do I go on when you were my goodnight kiss and my morning smile.
I lay here, instead of being curled into you, swallowed up in my tears and pain.
I still look for you, I still think you'll be sunbathing on your windowsill, looking so beautiful with your orange fur surrounded in sunlight.
I look for you in your red blankie, thinking you will still be there curled into a ball sleeping, and that this all was just one bad and awful nightmare.
How do I go on when you were my reason?
I know you had to go back to the sky, and be the beautiful flower petal I know all too well, but it hurts so much. It hurts too much. We spent our entire lives with each other. You were with me from the moment you were born until the moment you left this realm. I still talk to you when I drive anywhere, because that was our special time. All of our car rides, whether it be to the vet or elsewhere, it was our special time. Everywhere I look, I see pieces of you and it hurts me knowing I will never be able to hold you again until I leave this Earth. Are you okay up there? Are you safe? I'm so sorry I can't be there with you physically right now. I would trade everything I have just to be with you. I don't know if I will ever be able to come to terms with the fact that you aren't here anymore. Your mom is so lost without you. You were my compass. My map. My light. My baby bee. My petal. Every day I am away from you, is a day I will spend wishing I could be there. I love you. I love you more than there are stars in the sky. I love you more than anything I have ever loved in this lifetime. You were my slice of serenity. I miss you so much.
Its been 56 days without you.
56 days without you sleeping nestled into my aide.
56 days without you waiting at the door for me to tell me you missed me.
56 days not knowing how to breathe, how to think, how to function.
56 days of feeling like I'm hollow and that theres nothing left for me to be here for.
56 days of being broken into so many pieces I can't see how I will ever be okay again.
56 days of pain and tears and screaming at the sky wishing I could just bring you back and hold you in my arms one last time.
Just one last time of smelling the nape of head and kissing your sweet little cheeks.
The nights hurt the most, and mornings hurt just as bad. How do I go on when you were my goodnight kiss and my morning smile.
I lay here, instead of being curled into you, swallowed up in my tears and pain.
I still look for you, I still think you'll be sunbathing on your windowsill, looking so beautiful with your orange fur surrounded in sunlight.
I look for you in your red blankie, thinking you will still be there curled into a ball sleeping, and that this all was just one bad and awful nightmare.
How do I go on when you were my reason?
I know you had to go back to the sky, and be the beautiful flower petal I know all too well, but it hurts so much. It hurts too much. We spent our entire lives with each other. You were with me from the moment you were born until the moment you left this realm. I still talk to you when I drive anywhere, because that was our special time. All of our car rides, whether it be to the vet or elsewhere, it was our special time. Everywhere I look, I see pieces of you and it hurts me knowing I will never be able to hold you again until I leave this Earth. Are you okay up there? Are you safe? I'm so sorry I can't be there with you physically right now. I would trade everything I have just to be with you. I don't know if I will ever be able to come to terms with the fact that you aren't here anymore. Your mom is so lost without you. You were my compass. My map. My light. My baby bee. My petal. Every day I am away from you, is a day I will spend wishing I could be there. I love you. I love you more than there are stars in the sky. I love you more than anything I have ever loved in this lifetime. You were my slice of serenity. I miss you so much.
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