- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
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I was 22 yrs old and pregnant. I wanted a cat that I could take care of , I had never been responsible for anything’s life before besides my own. I wanted an older cat that needed a good home. I was turned down because I had a baby on the way and they didn’t think it would be a good fit.
My sisters friend had a stray that gave birth around 6 months prior. All the cats from the litter were gone except one. It was a black cat. It was also known to be a crazy cat. I told my sister to bring her over!
Boy was she crazy! She would run around so fast, break all the blinds, never wanted to come near anyone but at one point she started making horrible noises in the hallway at nights and I realized she was in heat . After she was spayed she was A LOT better. By this point I had baby and we also got an African gray parrot. She would climb the parrots cage but she also started being friendlier to me.
Over the years she never got sick. She was always there for me . She was there during my pregnancies and after the babies came home. She grew up with my kids. We also got two dogs … she didn’t mind the little one but once we got a bigger dog she was upset for about a year but eventually came around and would come sit with us while watching tv. She also always slept with me.
The first time she got sick, it was very serious. It was 2019 so she was around 11 or 12. We came home from my sisters wedding and kitty (that’s her name because we couldn’t decide on a name and just kept calling her kitty lol) there was bloody urine in the floor. She was hunched trying to pee and kept meowing. We took her to the vet who said it was a uti and gave antibiotics but something didn’t feel right. The next day we went to a different vet and turns out she had a handful of stones in her bladder. Emergency surgery was needed. She might not make it. It turned out her bladder ripped and urine was in the stomach. But she made it through the surgery . They couldn’t care for her overnight so I went to pick her up . She was touch and go for the first 48 hours or so but I would bring her to the vet all day so she can have fluids and take her home at night . She got better and returned to normal. It seemed like every 6 months or so she needed to go to the vet because she would display those say signs of stones /painful urination. They would take an X-ray and blood work and usually diagnosed a UTI but also were concerned because of fluid in the chest and also bone spurs in the spine . During COVID I let my daughter adopt a 2 yr old cat but that was a horrible decision because it stressed out kitty. Kitty hated that cat. Things got a little better with time , they could finally be in the same room . Kitty would pretty much sleep on a heating pad on my sofa all day and I noticed she stopped jumping as often. She also didn’t like me picking her up. We would laugh because she would wooble when she ran.. it was like such a slow old lady run. I realize now she was likely in pain. At this point the vet said she was starting to have kidney issues .. plus the heart fluid .. plus the UTIs and arthritis. We didn’t come up with any treatment plan except treating the uti’s. We were being conservative as long as she didn’t display too much pain. She would only eat salmon from a packet that’s around 4.99 a packet so she would eat about 10 dollars of salmon per day. It’s all she would eat or she wouldn’t eat. I knew this wasn’t a good diet because it likely had a lot of sodium and didn’t have all the vitamins she required. I was going to get her into the vet for a thyroid check and also discuss other food options but I never got a chance.
Last month she tried to jump onto my bed and she couldn’t … she clung on with her nails . I put her on my bed and noticed she couldn’t walk very well. I thought maybe she just pulled something and I’d check it out in the morning. She slept very close and I pet her until I fell asleep. The next morning she was off the bed, so she did get down fine. She was hounding me for food but I noticed she was dragging her back legs. She couldn’t even jump a little (she tried) .. she ate, she drank water but than she walked around bakc and forth like she was in pain. She finally got comfortable on the dogs bed. I made her an appointment with the vet. They wanted to do blood tests and X-rays and urine sample but my husband wanted to speak with the doctor first (they examined her in the back room , something they did during COVID that kinda just stuck ) well the doctor came and told me that her paws were cold, her tempature was 98, she had feeling but no pain in the legs but had lots of pain in the spinal area . I asked if she could pull up the X-rays from a few months ago. She saw the spurs and said that was the exact spot she was in pain. She said she needed an updated xray because it could of gotten a lot worse.
At this point we asked about treatment if that was the problem, this vet specialized in rehab and said she could do laser treatment but who knows if it would work, it would really only just help with inflammation but her spinal issues could never be corrected and would only get worse.
She never mentioned putting her down but I brought it up and asked what she would honestly do if it was her cat. This rehab vet looked me in the eyes and said I would put her down. She was having trouble regulating her tempature , peeing outside the litter box (like in other rooms) sometimes and most importantly she was in a great deal of pain.
At that point I cried and cried and cried . They prepared her and brought her to me. She tried to leave my lap probably because I was crying so loud. She could still get away .. she had strength.. is this the right choice ? They told me to ring a bell when I’m ready. I rang it a minute after they leff. I couldn’t sit there any longer with her struggling to get away . They gave the first shot. I was holding her looking into her eyes , she calmed down a bit… shot 2 made her go to sleep (with her eyes open and mouth open ) and when the final shot was administered I saw the life leave her face … all the muscles relaxed and she was gone . Just like that. I had them take her and cried uncontrollably and went to my car. I cried for days . I was so depressed . All of my other pets remind me of her … everything reminds me of her and reminds me that I will have to make this choice with my other pets one day.
I don’t know if it gets easier … I’ve only ever seen out Guinea pig die .. i felt a moral obligation to be there and hold my kitty as she left this earth. It was traumatizing but it would hurt 10000x worse if I wasn’t there and left her on her own.
During her last year of life we started calling her nanna because my grandma had died and kitty reminded us of her … she was kinda mean but also very sweet (only to me) so she was our old grandma now.
its been about two weeks now and I don’t cry all day anymore but I do cry every day. I miss her so much and i feel like I let her down. Like maybe I should of gotten those tests … maybe she just pulled something …. But she was 14-15 yrs old with all these other impending issues and I hope that I made the right choice. I didn’t want my kitty to suffer . I wanted her to die with dignity. She was always there for me , I knew I needed to make the choice that was right for her (not me). I am more upset than when I lost my grandma (who I was very close to). This is a different type of pain… almost like I lost my best friend , my mom, my sister, my grandma ALL at once. She was more than “just a cat” .. she was kitty!
here is a video my phone made… mostly pictures of her from 2019 when she was still chunky and active.
My sisters friend had a stray that gave birth around 6 months prior. All the cats from the litter were gone except one. It was a black cat. It was also known to be a crazy cat. I told my sister to bring her over!
Boy was she crazy! She would run around so fast, break all the blinds, never wanted to come near anyone but at one point she started making horrible noises in the hallway at nights and I realized she was in heat . After she was spayed she was A LOT better. By this point I had baby and we also got an African gray parrot. She would climb the parrots cage but she also started being friendlier to me.
Over the years she never got sick. She was always there for me . She was there during my pregnancies and after the babies came home. She grew up with my kids. We also got two dogs … she didn’t mind the little one but once we got a bigger dog she was upset for about a year but eventually came around and would come sit with us while watching tv. She also always slept with me.
The first time she got sick, it was very serious. It was 2019 so she was around 11 or 12. We came home from my sisters wedding and kitty (that’s her name because we couldn’t decide on a name and just kept calling her kitty lol) there was bloody urine in the floor. She was hunched trying to pee and kept meowing. We took her to the vet who said it was a uti and gave antibiotics but something didn’t feel right. The next day we went to a different vet and turns out she had a handful of stones in her bladder. Emergency surgery was needed. She might not make it. It turned out her bladder ripped and urine was in the stomach. But she made it through the surgery . They couldn’t care for her overnight so I went to pick her up . She was touch and go for the first 48 hours or so but I would bring her to the vet all day so she can have fluids and take her home at night . She got better and returned to normal. It seemed like every 6 months or so she needed to go to the vet because she would display those say signs of stones /painful urination. They would take an X-ray and blood work and usually diagnosed a UTI but also were concerned because of fluid in the chest and also bone spurs in the spine . During COVID I let my daughter adopt a 2 yr old cat but that was a horrible decision because it stressed out kitty. Kitty hated that cat. Things got a little better with time , they could finally be in the same room . Kitty would pretty much sleep on a heating pad on my sofa all day and I noticed she stopped jumping as often. She also didn’t like me picking her up. We would laugh because she would wooble when she ran.. it was like such a slow old lady run. I realize now she was likely in pain. At this point the vet said she was starting to have kidney issues .. plus the heart fluid .. plus the UTIs and arthritis. We didn’t come up with any treatment plan except treating the uti’s. We were being conservative as long as she didn’t display too much pain. She would only eat salmon from a packet that’s around 4.99 a packet so she would eat about 10 dollars of salmon per day. It’s all she would eat or she wouldn’t eat. I knew this wasn’t a good diet because it likely had a lot of sodium and didn’t have all the vitamins she required. I was going to get her into the vet for a thyroid check and also discuss other food options but I never got a chance.
Last month she tried to jump onto my bed and she couldn’t … she clung on with her nails . I put her on my bed and noticed she couldn’t walk very well. I thought maybe she just pulled something and I’d check it out in the morning. She slept very close and I pet her until I fell asleep. The next morning she was off the bed, so she did get down fine. She was hounding me for food but I noticed she was dragging her back legs. She couldn’t even jump a little (she tried) .. she ate, she drank water but than she walked around bakc and forth like she was in pain. She finally got comfortable on the dogs bed. I made her an appointment with the vet. They wanted to do blood tests and X-rays and urine sample but my husband wanted to speak with the doctor first (they examined her in the back room , something they did during COVID that kinda just stuck ) well the doctor came and told me that her paws were cold, her tempature was 98, she had feeling but no pain in the legs but had lots of pain in the spinal area . I asked if she could pull up the X-rays from a few months ago. She saw the spurs and said that was the exact spot she was in pain. She said she needed an updated xray because it could of gotten a lot worse.
At this point we asked about treatment if that was the problem, this vet specialized in rehab and said she could do laser treatment but who knows if it would work, it would really only just help with inflammation but her spinal issues could never be corrected and would only get worse.
She never mentioned putting her down but I brought it up and asked what she would honestly do if it was her cat. This rehab vet looked me in the eyes and said I would put her down. She was having trouble regulating her tempature , peeing outside the litter box (like in other rooms) sometimes and most importantly she was in a great deal of pain.
At that point I cried and cried and cried . They prepared her and brought her to me. She tried to leave my lap probably because I was crying so loud. She could still get away .. she had strength.. is this the right choice ? They told me to ring a bell when I’m ready. I rang it a minute after they leff. I couldn’t sit there any longer with her struggling to get away . They gave the first shot. I was holding her looking into her eyes , she calmed down a bit… shot 2 made her go to sleep (with her eyes open and mouth open ) and when the final shot was administered I saw the life leave her face … all the muscles relaxed and she was gone . Just like that. I had them take her and cried uncontrollably and went to my car. I cried for days . I was so depressed . All of my other pets remind me of her … everything reminds me of her and reminds me that I will have to make this choice with my other pets one day.
I don’t know if it gets easier … I’ve only ever seen out Guinea pig die .. i felt a moral obligation to be there and hold my kitty as she left this earth. It was traumatizing but it would hurt 10000x worse if I wasn’t there and left her on her own.
During her last year of life we started calling her nanna because my grandma had died and kitty reminded us of her … she was kinda mean but also very sweet (only to me) so she was our old grandma now.
its been about two weeks now and I don’t cry all day anymore but I do cry every day. I miss her so much and i feel like I let her down. Like maybe I should of gotten those tests … maybe she just pulled something …. But she was 14-15 yrs old with all these other impending issues and I hope that I made the right choice. I didn’t want my kitty to suffer . I wanted her to die with dignity. She was always there for me , I knew I needed to make the choice that was right for her (not me). I am more upset than when I lost my grandma (who I was very close to). This is a different type of pain… almost like I lost my best friend , my mom, my sister, my grandma ALL at once. She was more than “just a cat” .. she was kitty!
here is a video my phone made… mostly pictures of her from 2019 when she was still chunky and active.
