To shorten the story...
My mom had two daughters she adopted out, one of which I am close with now (will call her R), the other is only a half sister (will call her A), whom I have no contact with whatsoever (and neither does R).
A does not know she was adopted, even 33 years later, she has no idea. I found her on Facebook, out of sheer curiosity to see what she looked like. I had no desire to contact her, obviously, since she doesn't know I exist as a half sibling.
Tonight I found out her mother is very ill and could possibly be dying.
R wants to write her and tell her she is adopted. I kind of got angry...I really don't think it is her place to tell a total stranger they are adopted. She feels, since she was adopted and found out when she was older, than anyone who is adopted has the right to know. I think with A's mother possibly dying, its absurd to announce its not her real mother. R feels that before her mother goes, A should have the chance to talk to her about it.
I couldn't imagine a total stranger writing me through a social media network to tell I am adopted while the only mother I ever knew was terminally ill. R has no idea how A would take this news. It could turn a bad situation worse and cause a bunch of uproar, which A's mother doesn't deserve.
Am I wrong here? Do you think R has a right to tell A she is adopted just because she was angry her parents didn't tell her right away? I just think its none of her business if her family tells her. From what I see, she is doing well in life, has two kids, is married, has a home...Why would anyone want to risk changing someones life like that, when they don't even know them at all.
Would any of you, or have any of you told someone they were adopted? Do you think its wrong to interfere like that?
My mom had two daughters she adopted out, one of which I am close with now (will call her R), the other is only a half sister (will call her A), whom I have no contact with whatsoever (and neither does R).
A does not know she was adopted, even 33 years later, she has no idea. I found her on Facebook, out of sheer curiosity to see what she looked like. I had no desire to contact her, obviously, since she doesn't know I exist as a half sibling.
Tonight I found out her mother is very ill and could possibly be dying.
R wants to write her and tell her she is adopted. I kind of got angry...I really don't think it is her place to tell a total stranger they are adopted. She feels, since she was adopted and found out when she was older, than anyone who is adopted has the right to know. I think with A's mother possibly dying, its absurd to announce its not her real mother. R feels that before her mother goes, A should have the chance to talk to her about it.
I couldn't imagine a total stranger writing me through a social media network to tell I am adopted while the only mother I ever knew was terminally ill. R has no idea how A would take this news. It could turn a bad situation worse and cause a bunch of uproar, which A's mother doesn't deserve.
Am I wrong here? Do you think R has a right to tell A she is adopted just because she was angry her parents didn't tell her right away? I just think its none of her business if her family tells her. From what I see, she is doing well in life, has two kids, is married, has a home...Why would anyone want to risk changing someones life like that, when they don't even know them at all.
Would any of you, or have any of you told someone they were adopted? Do you think its wrong to interfere like that?