Teenagers! Ugh!

[cooie]

Why this picking on teenagers? Rude, obnoxious, law-breaking people come in all ages. Those kids aren't rude, obnoxious and law-beaking because they are teenagers! They are rude, obnoxious, and law-breaking because they are rude, obnoxious and law-breaking! They were when they were 8, and they still will be when they are 48!

 

[angelzoo]

LOL I dunno ask Nena she started it! Maybe it was just her tiff of the day?

 

[poeski]

I was a pretty good teenager I'd say. I went to school, got good grades, had a job throughout school, never was in any trouble. My sister and brother on the other hand were terrible. They were always getting picked up by the cops, always in trouble at school, getting into fights, drugs, dropped out of highschool, the works. Yet somehow my parents would pay more attention to them. When they did do something good my parents would congratulate them and reward them. I on the other hand graduated highschool, went onto college (though I had to drop out because I was trying to work full time and go to school full time), lived on my own, and supported myself. I am 22 now. And I have never felt that my parents were ever proud of me. I'm sure that they are, but it doesn't seem like it at times. They give them money and support them. I've been left to fend for myself without any help at all from them. I guess that's better though. At least I know now that I have matured enough that I can survive on my own. I don't need anyone else to support me. As far as bad teenagers, there are quite a few of them out there. But there are also the good ones that don't get the praise that they should. People seem more interested in the bad ones then the good ones.

 

[dtolle]

I said it earlier and I'll say it again. Not ALL teens are like this!! Sure there are some, and its due to their home life most likely, or lack thereof.

Most kids who come from good ,loving, nurturing families probably will not be rude and obnoxious because they were taught better. I'm sure there will be an exception to this rule, but I think in general you are a product of your environment. At least that has been my experience in life so far.

And for those that are missing that home life, well hopefully they will find themselves being led by good teachers, or other adults who can teach them correctly.

 

[sonia]

I do believe that teenagers are very influenced by what goes on around them, either from parents or peer pressure, even media such as videos and games. There is such a delicate balance in the way teens should handled. Thanks to a new football thugs game available on various formats, a lot of these brats have leasrnt new fighting methods, as the game features fighting lessons !

At the moment I am dealing with some neighbourhood teens that are regualarly ( three times a week at least ) breaking into my caravan in my garden, which is behind locked gates, and spending the night, there drinking and getting high. The police are no help as it is a Civil Trespass matter, which means they can do this as long as the cost of damage isn't above a certain amount, and that they have to leave quietly when asked. The damage they have caused to this caravan, which I now have to sterilise because of allergens, when I use it for an isolation ward every month or so, when I have an allergy treatment, has amounted to a few thousand pounds, to date, and still I can't get the law to touch them.

The oldest teen is 15 and the youngest is 13. I don't understand how the parents don't report their kids that are missing for a whole night, or ( they've been sleeping there for a while now ) haven't worked it all out that they aren't staying with friends. Anyway, the first time we discovered them there, when the police was escorting them off our property, the boys apologised, and thanked us for not charging them ( the police told them we'd dropped the charges for fear of revenge attacks ! ) and now, when we see them climbing back out of our garden in the morning, or on the street, they greet us like friends. The did damage the caravan to get in, and keep getting in, but the caravan itself is always left clean and tidy, if stinking of weed and alcohol. The beds are even made and the litter bags tied up and taken away. Deep down they have manners, so i guess we have to be grateful.

In total contrast, my Dad is constantly abused verbally by a 13 year old, who broke a bit of fencing as he climbed over it, whilst my Dad was watering our garden. My Dad questioned him as to what the hell he was doing, and the lad replied " What's it to you !?! " Dad says " It's my garden and you are trespassing and not only that, you have now caused damage, that's what it is to me ! ". The boy explained that my dad should be grateful that he wasn't disturbed as he was only getting his football back. Dad then tells him off a little and now he gets abused, and followed by this brat and his pals everytime he goes out. My Dad isn't the couragest of men, and is beginning to become reclusive, not going out if the car isn't around, etc. The police can do nothing about it.

If this is how 13 yr olds acts now, what chance have they in life ???
Unfortunately all the troublemakers are now being shipped off the estates by the council and are being settled into the area of private homeowners, where they cause just as much trouble, and pure violence, as if they'd never been moved at all. My area is now not safe to be out in after 8pm. The police station was even closed because of the violence of the thugs, that attacked it and it's staff. The thugs are all teenagers. We live in a sorry world.

Peace, Love, and Happiness, Always
Sonia

 

[hissy]

Sonia, that is rotten! it's to bad you couldn't somehow run a hot electrical wire around the outside and shock those suckers when they tried to gain access.

I know of a lot of rotten teens, but I also know a lot of good ones. We just never hear about the good ones as much, because they are going along in society trying to get along, contributing all they can and are not usually "newsworthy." Recently, a local radio station was vandalized and they finally found the vandals. Two 13 year olds! When asked why they smashed all the expensive equipment and caused thousands and thousands of dollars in damages, one of the teens replied "we did it, because the dj's suck and won't play the right music!" Go figure, the parents must be so proud!

There is no way to place blame in one area because there are many reasons why people go bad, be they kids, teens or adults. It has always been that way and probably always will.

 

[melissa]

Well, I, for one , amd getting pretty tired of hearing 'kids these days' from self righteous 'older people'

. They go on about how kids are so disrespectful these days and then try to blame it on their music or choice of friends. They never stop to think it was their generation who raised these kids. Not that I'm blaming every kids actions on their parents, but generally the teens who ARE respectful had very good parenting.

I've seen more than my share of extremely rude and disrespectful older folks, but yet we're told to 'respect our elders'. I respect people who respect me, if someone isn't deserving, my 'elder' or not, they won't get any special consideration from me.

This whole subject really burns me

Can you tell?

 

[sonia]

Melissa, my mother works in a nursing home. She always tells me that
there is rarely such a thing as a sweet old lady or an nice elderly gentlemen. And many a time have I been shocked by the behaviour of some adults on the streets too.

I think there are nicer teenagers, I know over 300 wonderful teenagers, personally, that I think are fabulous and very respectable and that about that don't act like little hooligans. I do think that the sleepers in our caravan are ok, just that maybe if they go home drunk or drugged out they will get told off, or who knows baten up, so they'd rather stay out somewhere than deal with it, and as the parents just accept the fact that they all say ( there are 5 and sometimes 6 ! ) they are staying over at each other's houses, makes me wonder. It is just a shame that the teenagers we have cause for concern are the ones in the public eye. On the other hand, the violence the little monsters can inflict can be devasting, and as I wasn't bought up to be like that, maybe I just don't understand.

Peace, Love, and Happiness, Always
Sonia

 

[angelzoo]

Sonia: LOL My mum used to be a CNA at a couple nursing homes. Hardly anyone there is nice.. patients, other workers.
My mum said things like some ppl would bite her, some ppl would grab her and not let go (omg childhood traumas coming back to me).
And of course my mum would get blamed if someones family didn't come visit them!

I will never understand why anyone would want that job.. I would rather be a sign holder (standing out in the hot sun for hours)

 

[cooie]

Oh, yes, I, too can attest to the nastiness of the folks in their "golden years". I collect Medicare accounts for a living, so I deal extensively with old people. Since my industry always is plagued by closings, cut-backs and mergers, I don't always have my "choice" of jobs, but I try hard to find one where there are no deductibles and coinsurance to deal with, because that means dealing with these rude senior citizens. They seem to automatically assume that the healthcare provider is out to cheat them and to "pull one over" on them. When you deal with these folks daily, then you resign yourself to the fact that at least once a day you will hear that you are being turned in for Medicare fraud simply because you tried to bill a patient for a balance that they are very well aware when they request the procedure that Medicare does not pay for it. When you try to explain why they are being billed, and that you would be glad to fax them the consent they signed acknowledging they would be billed, they talk over you, interrupt you, threaten to turn you in to Medicare, threaten to "have your job", threaten to call the police, berate you for calling them a liar, accuse you of lying, hand up on you.....sigh. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

Where I work now, I don't even answer my phone anymore, just let it go to voice mail.

On the other hand, I delight in chatting with my son's friends when they are over for a vist, or when they IM me thinking it is him on the puter. One guy even overheard me once when he called for my son, grunting "Alan around?" and as I was handing the phone over I said to Alan "that boy needs to be taught some phone manners." Well, he heard, and evidently took heed, because the very next time he called, this is what he said: "Yes ma'am, this is Vasily calling, may I speak to Alan?"

Yes, give me a 17 year old over a 70 year old any day.

 

[valanhb]

I taught high school for 1 1/2 years. I got out of it for multiple reasons (it really wasn't the right place or position for me), but one of the reasons was the full on disrespect and incredible actions of some of the students. Most of the kids were good kids and I have no doubt that they are and will continue to be productive members of society and better mannered than most of the adults out there.

The thing that I noticed was that the bad kids today are so much worse than the bad kids of my day. I hung out with the bad kids in school, even though I never really got in trouble and got good grades, so I know what they did. I know that they did not frequently call teachers mother f*^%ing b*(&^es. I know that they did not ask their teachers if they liked it "doggy style". And I know that none of them ever peed in a mountain dew bottle, brought it to class and offered it to the teacher to drink. I was only 5 years out of high school, and the attitudes toward any authority (meaning anyone older than them) were attrocious. And heaven forbid if a teacher try to talk to the parents about it. "My son/daughter would never do something like that. They told me you have it out for them." The kids knew that they could get away with it. The school wouldn't do anything against some of them because the parents were big contributors to the school (it was a private school).

With all these school shootings, stabbings, etc going on, I really wonder what has changed so much in the 10 years now that I have been out of school. Back in those days (don't I sound old???) if someone had a big problem with someone else, they would have a fist fight after school. Now the problems are solved with guns and knives. This seems like a big escalation of the problem kids to me. Not that they are all bad, but the bad ones have really gotten out of hand.

 

[angelzoo]

I had ppl threaten to kill me, because I fixed their computer for them and they were embarassed about it.
PPL on the other side of the phone scare me.
Strange... when I got into the billing department customers were nicer!

Its so hard to hang up the phone on an old person, it REALLY is.

 

[nena10]

I was a pretty quiet teen only because I lived with my mother and stepdad and the man was very strict. If I got pregnant, I'd be kicked off the house. I never did drugs, drunk alcohol, or do anything to get into trouble. Thanks everyone for the imput. Most of the teens that do behave live on the East side with strict, Mormon parents. The family gets involved in the child's rearing. When I was younger, I've known many teens who were really nice. I, now, live on the west side with most of my neighbors being of the poor or middle class with both parents working and the kids doing whatever they wish.

 

[okeefecl]

I agree that teenagers nowadays seem much more rude than I remember my friends and I being (I'm not THAT far away from the late teen years). I'll admit we weren't angels, but the stories you hear now...all of the sudden,setting off bottle rockets seems rather lame.

The worst punishment my parents could give me was letting me know that I had disappointed them and let them down. I would feel so horrible, I'd work to regain that trust (usually while I was grounded for a week or two). I think teenagers now don't fear disappointing their parents, either because the parents could care less (and the kids pick this up), or because parents nowadays are told that this kind of punishment hurts a child's self esteem, which is a BAD THING. Therefore, even if the kid does something wrong (or illegal), the kids aren't bad. Bullhockey. Maybe parents should start hurting their kid's self esteem a little.

Sorry. I'll get off my soapbox now.

 

[megh]

My earlier reply was true, and I do not want to take any of it back, because there is truly frightening parenting out there these days. I do want to add, however, that the reason I got into high school teaching is that I like people, including teenagers, and I enjoy being a part of their lives. I go to baseball games, softball games, football games, and every other kind of game on a regular basis just to be that person in the stands for a kid who has no parents or just crummy ones. I often spend time counseling students about life issues, and I enjoy it.

My concern about rude teens (and other people who ignore basic courtesies) is that they make life miserable for the rest of us. I tell you, it is the 10% of kids (and the BLIND parents who believe that their little darling would NEVER do that!) who are miserable to be around that make me want to leave my profession.

 

[megh]

Hey, O'Keefe (that's my maiden name!)

I am with you on the SELF ESTEEM thing. Since when is it more important to build self esteem than a body of knowledge that will serve as a basis for learning for a lifetime? I feel that degrading a person is terribly unjust, but expressing disappointment when a person is wrong is a very effective way to check a child's behavior. It works even better when that statement is followed up by encouragement and recognition once the behaviors change. In my experience, doing simply that has turned around several children who want to better themselves. It's all a learning process, right?

 

[dawnt91]

Gosh, Susan. You just about made me cry. I don't know what I'd do without my mom. I can't imagine having lost her at the early age of 44.

 

[okeefecl]

Megh-

Bless you for being a teacher, and caring so much. I'm sure most of us here have great memories of that one teacher who helped us to reach our dreams. ps-Welcome to another O'Keefe!

I also agree that children are a result of the environment they grew up in. My parents allowed my brother and I to make our own mistakes, so that we could learn on our own. After all, how many kids listen to their parents when they say "I don't want you doing that"? They did, however, lay the groundwork so that we would eventually realize that what we were doing wasn't right or acceptable or would limit our futures. I still like to tell my Dad that I am very happy how he raised Jon (brother) and I, and that he should be proud that we turned out the way we did.

 

[jeanie g.]

I hoped she was being sarcastic! BadHabit, as a mature and intelligent young person, you are not an exception, but the truth is that a larger percentage (of teens than adults) are rude. Adults can be rude also, but they no longer have to prove their adulthood to the world or themselves. Some teens just talk back on occasion-that was me, and most of us. Others think they have to rebel against all authority to prove how grownup they are. We've all been there, so I don't feel as if I am insulting young people. I loved to teach high school; the choirs were capable of gratifying and thrilling sound, and when I taught English, I thoroughly enjoyed reading very thoughtful and intelligent essays-especially when I saw literature touching the roughest students. Nevertheless, some of these young people were unbelievably crude. I think parents are an important influence, but I also think it's time young people took some responsibility for their own actions.

 

[badhabit]

No doubt Jeanie, teens can be rude and disrespectful and we have all had our... less than stellar moments.

Yes yes even me

I just dislike when young kids are automatically classified as lazy or disrepectful just because they are young and "look" it. It's unfair to the kids that are not like their peers and have been there myself I know how frustrating it is to have your personality already set in someone else's mind without them even knowing you.

And you have a addressed a really good point. Kids need to take responsibility for their own actions. By the time you're 16 and 17 you should be preparing yourself for the real world... Be it college or a full time job. Sadly I've seen many friends who haven't a clue about what responsiblity means and I'm sure it will hurt them in the end.

I will say this..... I would NEVER act how I've seen younger kids today act. I just wasn't brought up that way. Brian was telling me how he was standing in front of these two younger kids(maybe 17 years old)in line at a coffee shop and they were swearing up a storm. Every other word was F thing F that blah blah blah. Finally having enough of their vulgar language an elderly lady who was standing in front of Brian in line turned to them and scowled. She never said a word just gave them a look. So the boys started swearing at her and calling her names. After calling her every name in the book Brian turned to them and told them to keep their mouths shut. The one boy sneered and called him a name but they stopped swearing.

After he told me that story I was shocked. Although I know I shouldn't be but I hate hearing things like that. It makes me so angry. I don't know what they felt they had to prove or who they were trying to impress but they'll never gain anyone's respect with a few expletives and sneers.