Teenagers and the Gynocologist (sorry guys!)

[meowsas]

Its difficult accepting the emerging woman in the little girl I am sure.
Amy and I have already had some talks about the birds and the bees!
She was with me in a public toliet one day and my period started ( we were on our own in london) She was very alarmed and thought I was dying. so in the st pauls cathedral toliets I got to make a brief explanation! even i felt shy coming out to the queue of woman waiting for the loo and felt like saying did I miss anything? any facts wrong?!
Oh how we rely on what our mothers told us in those moments. welldone mum!
She has the where did I come from book and I have a more grown up one for when puberty strikes.
I was 12 when I got my period. Don't know how old my mother in law was.
I love sex and being a woman and my main concern apart from pregnacy and aids/std is she will grow to love her body and its abilities!
My husband was raised being told sex was bad and dirty and had no clue about a womans body. it was a shame and took us a little while to overcome the mental damage done there.
His mum hates sex.
Our sexuality is a gift. thats what I want to get across to my little girl.

 

[semiferal]

Personally, I'm well into my 20's (um, actually closer to 30 than 20...gulp) and I've never been to a gynecologist. My reason is that I'm still a virgin and my periods are trouble-free except for normal cramps and they've been like pretty much like clockwork since I was about 15. I view it like the other parts of my body - there's no reason to even suspect it's broke, so I can't see looking for trouble.

When I was in high school it was a non-issue because even though my mom and I have never been close, she definitely knew that I didn't even have a boyfriend. The subject never really came up. I guess if she'd felt strongly about my going then I would have gone along, but as it was it just never happened. At this point, barring any problems I'll probably see an ob/gyn sometime between when I get married and when my husband and I decide to have children. Until then, I personally don't really see a need.

 

[sanctie]

Originally Posted by lisasha3

This thread has been very helpful and has gotten me to think about a few things.
One reason I don't know about these things is because my mother never talked to me about anything. I got my period when I was 11 1/2 (young) and because my mom never mentioned anything about it, I was terrified and thought I was dying. It was traumatic. She never discussed sex with me ever and my first doctor I went too I was brought to by my (thankfully responsible) friend to a family clinic to get BC. Still when my mother discovered I was on BC, she still never talked to me about it, but instead stopped talking to me even more (ashamed) and I was 16-17 years old. It was a bit sad now that I look back on it and vowed I would never raise my girls that way. It also didn't help that I missed the "movie" and talk in school that every girl and boy sees too cause in the town where I lived they did it in 7th grade and I moved at the end of 6th grade. When I started 7th grade at my new school, the had the movie in 6th grade.

So basically I was clueless on everything unless my friend explained it to me. Again - not how I wanted my girls to be brought up and I've even told them - your friends will tell you a lot of things, that's fine, but please talk to me so you know what's true. Due to how I was brought up, I am very open with my girls and our relationship is very good. I'm sure there are things that they don't tell me, but that's to be expected.

So pretty much what I'm kinda getting out of this whole conversation is - maybe wait until she's a little older (she's not quite 15 yet) unless there is a concern - health, or irregular periods (which she has and we'll keep an eye on). Also explain to her in detail what they do there, and what to expect and why they do it.
I think what they should do is schedule an appointment with the gyno where the do an entire exam EXCEPT the internal. I think they should do this for a couple of years so the girls get use to undressing, having their chest examined, etc. THEN after a couple of years begin the internal exam. Don't you think that would go smoother? and maybe be a little less intimidating? My kids Pedi has NEVER checked them there. She also pretty much hasn't really asked about their periods (hence - why we have switched).

Anyways - thank you all again. This has been a very informative conversation!

I think this is a fantastic idea! The internal could be pretty scary for someone her age. I remember being 14 and thought I was going to die because my mom wanted to take me. I wasn't sexually active at that age, so nearly hated her for it, lol. I wouldn't make her get the internal until she is 17 or so, unless *gulp* she becomes sexually active some time soon. *Fingers crossed that doesn't happen*. What a wonderful mother you are to be so concerned over your child's emotional well being and comfort level, kudos to you Lisa!!

 

[halfpint]

It is a touchy subject for sure, and I hate to say how times and things have changed. My Grandaughter moved from home to her Fathers last year, she has had alot of problems or I guess she was a somewhat problem child. Knowing that she was sexually active, I called her one day and told her you need to protect yourself, I will get the information for you on where to go, and then you can decide. I also told her even if you don't want to go PLEASE go do it for me, because you don't need to start your life with a baby, and she went the very next day, I was so glad. None of us know for sure what the kids are doing anymore and I just think were better off somehow assuming that they are doing things even if we don't like it. Its not about giving them permission to do things we don't approve of, but chances are they are doing it or are going to... Better safe and healthy then full of that fear and the fact that we know sometimes they don't make very good choices.

 

[arlyn]

My mom insisted that we went yearly for PAP smears as soon as we started getting our periods.

In my case 11, in my sister's case, 9.

It was the same for my nieces.

 

[alaynna]

Originally Posted by semiferal

Personally, I'm well into my 20's (um, actually closer to 30 than 20...gulp) and I've never been to a gynecologist. My reason is that I'm still a virgin and my periods are trouble-free except for normal cramps and they've been like pretty much like clockwork since I was about 15. I view it like the other parts of my body - there's no reason to even suspect it's broke, so I can't see looking for trouble.

When I was in high school it was a non-issue because even though my mom and I have never been close, she definitely knew that I didn't even have a boyfriend. The subject never really came up. I guess if she'd felt strongly about my going then I would have gone along, but as it was it just never happened. At this point, barring any problems I'll probably see an ob/gyn sometime between when I get married and when my husband and I decide to have children. Until then, I personally don't really see a need.

That's how I felt...I didn't go until I was 20 which was right before we got married...I wanted to get on birth control so I went a couple of months before our wedding. Well I have stopped taking the birth control b/c I was having really bad reactions to it. I haven't been back since the first time....and I probably won't go back until we decide to have children...I am 22 now and we were planning on having children around 25 or so

 

[zak&rocky]

Well my mom never offered though I'm sure if I asked she would've taken me. I'm pretty open with other people but discussing that stuff with my mom makes me very antsy.. She was very protective of me with boys in HS. I couldn't have a boy in my room alone at age 15.. I didn't become fully sexually active until age 17 and about to go to college anyway. My mom took me to a "grown up" MD when I was about 20.. I didn't end up having an gyn exam then b/c I had my period.. I was wicked relieved. At about age 22 I went to another PCP, and they did a pap smear as part of my physical, as well as a quick exam. I had a couple others over the years since then as it is required for birth control, but I have never been to a obygyn. I haven't been to the doctor in a year or two.. I stopped taking my BC last year.. Probably in a year or so I will start trying to have to have kids so it would probably be a good idea to start seeing one. BTW I'm 28.
I think it's important at some point to have a pap smear in your late teens early twenties. You may also want to start her on the pill, not b/c she is sexually active but for cramps and stuff.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I just rememberd something. I used to get Teen Magazine when I was younger and I remember them running a very good article that talked about everything that would happen at the gyno. It was informative and very well done.

 

[lisasha3]

Thanks again all!

I think this discussion has been very informative to all of us. I know I"m not the only one out there with girls whether they be daughters, nieces, grandaughters, etc. I know I learned a lot here.

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

P.S. Your cats are just beautiful..Wow

Thank you very much!

We've since added a little foster boy to our "female clan". He's a beauty too! I'll be posting pictures soon.
Oh! and thank Christine (Cagnes) for the beautiful siggy. She's very talented.