Hi everyone, it’s my first time posting here. I’m from Singapore so the terms/situation I use/describe below may differ from the American context.
The reason I am here is because I’m really struggling with making a decision on whether to euthanize my foster cat, Baby, and if so, when would be the right time.
Baby is a community cat (a stray that lives in my neighbourhood) whom I helped to feed. I decided to foster her back in December 2022 because she had 2 wounds that would not heal and the vet I brought her to said she would need to be kept indoors and wear a cone until her wounds healed. I was supposed to release her back outdoors after her wounds had healed. Her wounds have healed but she had one medical problem after another and is thus still with me—first, she had constipation and had to have enemas and be hospitalised. The vet said she might have megacolon and put her on Cisapride and Miralax. She possibly has to be on this for life. Next, we discovered she was FIV and FeLV positive and would be better off as an indoor cat. Baby also had an existing problem before I took her in. She has urinary and fecal incontinence. The vets I’ve seen (3 of them) said her incontinence is likely caused by a tail pull injury and would likely be for life. And recently, in January 2023, we discover she has non-regenerative anemia.
I have never owned any cats prior to Baby. I was not mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially prepared for the complications and the effort Baby’s care would require when I first took her in for what I thought were just 2 superficial wounds.
I still don’t have answers as to what’s causing Baby’s non-regenerative anemia despite having spent thousands of dollars on vets. The vet initially thought FeLV, but her PCR came back negative for FeLV though they said the disease could be hiding in her bone marrow. We also did an anemia panel but that didn’t provide any conclusive results. We did an ultrasound and she has some pockets of fluid in front of her bladder, an enlarged spleen, and what looks like lymph nodes near her spleen. The vet has said that to further investigate, we would need to do either fine needle aspirates or biopsies of the pockets of fluid, the lymph nodes around her spleen, and her bone marrow. But Baby is not currently stable enough to undergo sedation and/or anaesthesia.
Her blood work doesn’t look good. Her blood counts are dropping despite receiving darbepoetin, vitamin B12, and iron shots to try and get them up.
Baby is still eating well with the aid of mirtazapine (an appetite stimulant). She is also on prednisolone (steroids) which would also give her more of an appetite.
I don’t know what’s normal for Baby since I have no experience with cats and since I got her when she was already sick. But Baby has never been interested in playing. She still does enjoy pets and will purr occasionally when given affection. She spends most of the day sleeping, but is quite active at night (mostly crying for food, sleeping, or occasionally scratching on her scratch board). She still does groom herself though perhaps its frequency and duration has decreased.
Baby has incontinence but does still use the litter box. Nonetheless her incontinence makes it hard for me to gauge her litter box habits. But it seems her litter box usage is becoming less frequent. Now, she mostly pees and defecates on the pee pad she is sleeping or lying on.
I am exhausted, emotionally, physically, and financially from caring for Baby with her incontinence and medical issues. I believe this is made worse because I wasn’t prepared at the start.
I asked 2 vets if there is a cure for Baby, but they weren’t very direct with their answers. They said some cats with her symptoms can live on prednisolone long term.
I am sharing all this as I’m torn. Emotionally, physically, and financially, I am spent. And when I am exhausted, I think it would be best to euthanise her.
But she still looks alive, still wants to eat (though this might be because of the medications she’s on) and seems quite bright (bearing in mind I don’t have a gauge for what is normal for cats nor her). She is also quite young. The vets estimate she is about 4–5 years old.
I’m really struggling with whether to put her to sleep, and if so, when would the right time be. Although I am emotionally spent, I still do love her very much. And more than dying, I fear seeing her suffer and decline. I don’t have the strength to see that. And I sometimes work myself into a panic attack when I see her breathe differently or when she has mysterious bleeding from her mouth. (Bleeding always stops by the time I get her to the vet and they cannot tell what might have caused it.) Yet I wonder if maybe she can overcome whatever she has and I am robbing her life by putting her to sleep.
Does anyone have any advice that can help me make these difficult decisions?
Thank you for your help.
The reason I am here is because I’m really struggling with making a decision on whether to euthanize my foster cat, Baby, and if so, when would be the right time.
Baby is a community cat (a stray that lives in my neighbourhood) whom I helped to feed. I decided to foster her back in December 2022 because she had 2 wounds that would not heal and the vet I brought her to said she would need to be kept indoors and wear a cone until her wounds healed. I was supposed to release her back outdoors after her wounds had healed. Her wounds have healed but she had one medical problem after another and is thus still with me—first, she had constipation and had to have enemas and be hospitalised. The vet said she might have megacolon and put her on Cisapride and Miralax. She possibly has to be on this for life. Next, we discovered she was FIV and FeLV positive and would be better off as an indoor cat. Baby also had an existing problem before I took her in. She has urinary and fecal incontinence. The vets I’ve seen (3 of them) said her incontinence is likely caused by a tail pull injury and would likely be for life. And recently, in January 2023, we discover she has non-regenerative anemia.
I have never owned any cats prior to Baby. I was not mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially prepared for the complications and the effort Baby’s care would require when I first took her in for what I thought were just 2 superficial wounds.
I still don’t have answers as to what’s causing Baby’s non-regenerative anemia despite having spent thousands of dollars on vets. The vet initially thought FeLV, but her PCR came back negative for FeLV though they said the disease could be hiding in her bone marrow. We also did an anemia panel but that didn’t provide any conclusive results. We did an ultrasound and she has some pockets of fluid in front of her bladder, an enlarged spleen, and what looks like lymph nodes near her spleen. The vet has said that to further investigate, we would need to do either fine needle aspirates or biopsies of the pockets of fluid, the lymph nodes around her spleen, and her bone marrow. But Baby is not currently stable enough to undergo sedation and/or anaesthesia.
Her blood work doesn’t look good. Her blood counts are dropping despite receiving darbepoetin, vitamin B12, and iron shots to try and get them up.
Baby is still eating well with the aid of mirtazapine (an appetite stimulant). She is also on prednisolone (steroids) which would also give her more of an appetite.
I don’t know what’s normal for Baby since I have no experience with cats and since I got her when she was already sick. But Baby has never been interested in playing. She still does enjoy pets and will purr occasionally when given affection. She spends most of the day sleeping, but is quite active at night (mostly crying for food, sleeping, or occasionally scratching on her scratch board). She still does groom herself though perhaps its frequency and duration has decreased.
Baby has incontinence but does still use the litter box. Nonetheless her incontinence makes it hard for me to gauge her litter box habits. But it seems her litter box usage is becoming less frequent. Now, she mostly pees and defecates on the pee pad she is sleeping or lying on.
I am exhausted, emotionally, physically, and financially from caring for Baby with her incontinence and medical issues. I believe this is made worse because I wasn’t prepared at the start.
I asked 2 vets if there is a cure for Baby, but they weren’t very direct with their answers. They said some cats with her symptoms can live on prednisolone long term.
I am sharing all this as I’m torn. Emotionally, physically, and financially, I am spent. And when I am exhausted, I think it would be best to euthanise her.
But she still looks alive, still wants to eat (though this might be because of the medications she’s on) and seems quite bright (bearing in mind I don’t have a gauge for what is normal for cats nor her). She is also quite young. The vets estimate she is about 4–5 years old.
I’m really struggling with whether to put her to sleep, and if so, when would the right time be. Although I am emotionally spent, I still do love her very much. And more than dying, I fear seeing her suffer and decline. I don’t have the strength to see that. And I sometimes work myself into a panic attack when I see her breathe differently or when she has mysterious bleeding from her mouth. (Bleeding always stops by the time I get her to the vet and they cannot tell what might have caused it.) Yet I wonder if maybe she can overcome whatever she has and I am robbing her life by putting her to sleep.
Does anyone have any advice that can help me make these difficult decisions?
Thank you for your help.
