Strange behaviour.

[flynnie]

I want to know if anyone else has got or had a cat that has behaved in this way.

I've always thought Mildred is odd, right from when I had her. As the years have gone on, I have convinced myself she's got some sort of learning disability. I tried googling it but didn't find much.

When I had her, at 10 weeks old, she went straight behind the settee and stayed there for nearly 3 weeks. I had to put everything behind there with her because I couldn't even tempt her out with food or treats. I moved the settee out a couple of centimetres a day until she was exposed. I know lots of cats hide but I thought it was quite an effort for her to stay there for so long.

As a kitten, she never climbed anything, never got on the bed or the worktop or windowsill. When I had my other cat, Sedrick, she started to copy him a bit. She gets on the bed now. She didn't like him to start with either...tried to kill him actually but she tolerates him now. She's funny though...if he walks by her she will give him a slap round the face. Luckily he takes no notice at all. They don't fight. She's never fought in her life.

She never made a noise either as a kitten...never meowed, never purred. The only noise she ever made was a hiss. She has meowed only a couple of times in her life.

She wouldn't let me touch her at all. Obviously, I need to be able to touch her to be able to check she is ok and she's long haired so I need to tend to her fur if needed. It took me 7 years of persistence, spending hours with her each day to get her to the point she's at now. She lets me stroke her now, in fact she seems to like it. It's rare that she hisses now too but she still bites for no apparent reason.

She has never been on my lap...not once.

She doesn't play. At all. Well, unless there's a moth. Everything else she just ignores.

It's so hard to describe what I mean about her behaviour. It's lots of little things she does. The biggest one is that every time she comes out of the bedroom (the bedroom is her main domain), she walks round investigating the place like she's never ever seen it before. She looks bewildered, goes round sniffing everything, walking really slowly. It's bizarre to watch.

She's very easily startled but seems to have relaxed so much compared to what she was like. I used to look at her sometimes and she'd just look petrified. I didn't stare or anything. She is a lot better than she was. I just can't believe how long it has taken and how much I have to do to make sure she stays relaxed. I'm the only person that can touch her.

It's not that she's not happy. I think she is happy...well, I hope so anyway. It's something else.

She is nothing like any cat I have had before or any cat I have ever met. It's so hard to describe - I'm not sure I've done it justice.

 

[catpack]

Where did you get Mildred from?

Based on your description it sounds as if she was feral (and from feral parents.) This would totally explain all her behavior.

Some cats that have a lengthy feral background (generations) are hard to tame. This does NOT mean that these cats are aggressive. Some are just true "scaredy" cats. They are always on edge/leary of their environment. The latter sounds like Mildred.

We have a cat in our rescue like this. She is soon to be 5. Was rescued from a dumpster when she was about 8-ish weeks old. I have been around her for about 3 1/2 years and she is just NOW beginning to vocalize a bit (only when she knows food is coming.) She will get about 2 feet away from me voluntarily. I can pick her up and hold her closely; but, only if I corner her to do so. Otherwise she runs and hides.

She has a cat buddy that she gets along with great and takes her social cues from.

 

[flynnie]

Thank you for your reply CatPack.

I had Mildred from my step-sister. Her domestic cat had a litter of 3 kittens. No feral in her. I know she was well looked after for the first weeks of her life and she has been well looked after by me too. If I didn't know where she had come from, I would assume that she had been mistreated but that wouldn't explain the bewilderment and inability to climb things (she can get on the bed now but can't get on the windowsill...I have a box there so she can get up because she likes it up there). Sedrick is so graceful in his movements. I know you get clumsy cats but you can't even rely on Mildred to walk along the settee successfully.

She was that bad when she was younger, she seemed so confused, still does really. I took her to the vet to be checked out because I was worried. I would never have got rid of her or anything but I just wanted some reassurance that there was nothing wrong that I should be doing something about, that I wasn't doing anything wrong. The vet said there was no obvious medical reason for the way she is.

She just seems so distracted all the time. And she stares. You know how they stare when there's a spider on the wall? Like that except there's nothing there and she will do it for quite a few minutes then just wonder off investigating everything all over again.

I lover her anyway...wouldn't change her for the world. I just wondered if anyone had experienced similar things because I've never known anything like it before.

 

[musicalcats]

What a patient, caring, wonderful kitty-parent you are! It sounds to me that it's possible she has at least some cognitive delay, namely in her memory and processing. I've not seen it in a cat before but I have seen it in other animals and read about it. It seems that some very natural cat behaviors are simply exaggerated and/or prolonged in your Mildred (hiding, caution in "unfamiliar" places, staring, trepidation with being touched/held). Other behaviors that should be innate are missing (playing/hunting, purring, graceful movement). It is promising and wonderful that she has made improvements and continues to learn. I think you may just be dealing with a bit of a special needs kitty that just requires some more work and mostly creativity to keep her happy and well supported! Whether or not I'm on the right track with understanding Mildred, I believe each and every cat is an individual that we have to work to understand and support who they are...we can't make them do or be anything other than who they are (as I'm sure you know well), we just walk alongside them in life and hope to enrich their lives as much as they enrich ours! Enjoy that special kitty for all the uniqueness, beauty, humor, love and happy challenges she brings!

 

[blackcat416]

When a friend of ours moved in so did 3 of his cats, I already had 4 of my own. When he left 2 of the 3 left with him. Out of the two that left one of them Missy was just miserable. So bad he had to keep a liter box in his room for her to use otherwise she would pee and poop on his clothes. Where as the other 2 where happy to just run around the nice big house we had filled with tons of toys and I mean hundreds and hundreds of toys. So many toys they have their own toy boxes filled with toys. Hundred of mice, springs, balls, lids, toys of all kind. Toys on strings, toys on ropes, toys that fly. Missy was so bad she had to eat in her bed room. This went on for 3 years until she left. 3 years of hissing at the other cats that visited the bedroom. 3 years of growling. I came to the conclusion it was just her nature to be miserable. She never socialized so hated other humans other then her master hated other cats and cats live in colonies but obviously Missy didn't read that chapter on how to be a cat.

It's a shame about your cat but I know what you mean. I believe it's because she wasn't socialized as a kitten, she was afraid and you fed into her fear by letting her stay under that settee. You should have gotten her out and closed that door so she couldn't get back under it. If you try that now, she is probably become violent and pee all over the house or vomit from anxiety so now it's her nature all these years later, you made it, so you live with it. Cats need socialization to humans as kittens not once they have matured. By then it's too late. So leave her be and next time socialize not sympathize of being a new kitten in the house.

 

[flynnie]

MusicalCats, thank you. I have done my best with her. She's lovely. I'm pretty convinced she has special needs too. She has improved a lot which I think is hopeful too. She's 8 now and this last year has been good for progress. Hopefully that will continue. I'm not expecting her to change, I just like that she seems to be getting more relaxed.

blackcat416, thanks. Just for the record, it's not like I ignored her when she was behind the settee for those 3 weeks. I was talking to her all the time, trying to get her to play and trying to coax her out. I didn't just ignore her. She has always had human contact since the day I had her. I treat her exactly the same as my other cat and all the cats I've had in the past and it didn't seem to affect them negatively. I do know how to do it as I've done it many times with good results. I hope Missy is happier in her new home.

My efforts are just to make her as happy as possible and she does seem a lot happier now than she used to. She's even started nudging me when I fuss her so she has started to enjoy that. She bites when I do it too but there is no sign that it's a warning or nasty in any way. It's like she just chews my hand a bit so I don't tell her off, I just pull my hand away, put my fingers to her nose so she can smell them, then carry on stroking her and that seems to work out quite well.