Growing up, my mom and I were never close. Even now we aren't close, but ever since I moved out, we've been better at getting along. The most we really did together when I was a teen was go to amusement parks like Six Flags. My grandma told me a few years ago my mom admitted to her that she resented me growing up, because I replaced her in my grandmother's heart. Since I've been born, I've been the apple of my grandma's eye. She raised me for a few years, taught me and got me doing 7th grade level work while in 3rd grade.
My mom always finds fault in what I do, or always has to dislike it. I went with hubby and we got tattoos - she told me mine could have looked better, but praised his. She has 11 tattoos herself so she has no room to be against them entirely. If I get a piercing she avoids that part of me and gives it disgusted looks when she sees me, and points it out that she doesn't like it - even though I'm 23 and haven't lived at home for 5+ years. My brother is attached to her hip at nearly 21, and has always been her baby, I dont compare.
I know my grandma is correct when she says my mom has been jealous of me for years. I was 5'3", 100lbs for the longest time (now I'm around 115). When my mom was my age, she was as well. She's got a thyroid problem and has gained weight. She is jealous that I have someone I love and am still cuddly happy with after ~6 years. She cant stand my dad - they basically just reside together in the same home and don't know how to speak, just yell, when talking. She is jealous I make as much as she does, but she's 51 and been in her field for 32 years, whereas I'm 23 and been in my field for 4 years (though the cost of living in NC is less than SC, and salaries reflect that). She's jealous I have a new car, a new house, and no financial worries, but she's brought her problems upon herself and because of her spending habits. When my parents moved, she had $30,000 in credit card debt that my dad didn't even know about until signing the deed came around.
Well hubby and I are having a Labor Day cookout. I invited my parents and brother. It's a 3 hour drive, so not even a day-long drive or anything to get here. My mom kept changing the subject when I mentioned it, so I asked my brother if they were coming. He said he thought they were. My dad wants to come because he wants to get away from both of them, but he doesn't have much money as he's retired and spends all his social security money on cigarettes and beer. I emailed my mom yesterday and she responded saying "I'm not coming. Your brother may if he doesnt have to work and your father wants to." Well my brother isn't going to spend 3 hours in a vehicle with my dad, because they cant stand to be in the same house most of the time. And he doesn't go anywhere without my mom. I told him today "you guys don't like me, you never come to visit me." They've been here 3 times since I moved 5 years ago. I've been there countless times, it used to be multiple times per month we'd go up there. When they come, I or my MIL pay for their hotel since they are tight on money.
Last time they came was Christmas, since it was the first Xmas in our house. My MIL had her credit card on file to pay the $78 for the hotel room, and my mom refused to let her pay and took out her card instead and paid. Now my brother is having a fit saying we never paid for the room and they can't afford gas and hotel rooms to come see me. My mom's priorities are obviously in order (sarcasm). She cant come see her only daughter, but she can spend money weekly on acrylic nails, pedicures, hair styling, clothes, jewelry. Then complain she has no money in the bank.
Rob is at the point where he doesn't want to visit them in NC anymore if they cant put forth effort to see their family here, when we are offering to pay for them to stay in hotels. We dont ask them to come often. My in-laws cant understand why they are so adverse to coming here once in awhile. Yeah money is tight, because they MAKE it that way, and we offer to help make the trip affordable and they still wont come.
I know we are still going to have an awesome time at the party, but it sucks when everyone wonders why my family is always MIA. They begin to think they live in Jersey still instead of NC, and when they find out they're so close they cant understand why they dont make a trip 1-2x a year. My dad does want to come, hasnt told me if he is or not yet. The only downside is that he's already told me he's going to sleep on our couch, even though there's a reason we don't have guest rooms - ever since living with Rob's parents we didn't want anyone staying in our house. That and we'll be sleeping in (he'll probably be sleeping by 9pm and up by 5am!) and have a lot of cleaning up to do and he will stay as long as possible to not have to go back to his house in NC. I've always been daddy's girl and feel bad saying that but I'm probably 99% accurate on it - and he wont stay at a hotel or in my in-laws guest room. They live right behind us, as our land was given to us by them, and they would love for him to stay there and actually sleep on a BED instead of a beat couch.
Buncha drama, such is my life, should have taken notice that half my family doesn't speak to each other or like each other, and now I see how it all comes about.
My mom always finds fault in what I do, or always has to dislike it. I went with hubby and we got tattoos - she told me mine could have looked better, but praised his. She has 11 tattoos herself so she has no room to be against them entirely. If I get a piercing she avoids that part of me and gives it disgusted looks when she sees me, and points it out that she doesn't like it - even though I'm 23 and haven't lived at home for 5+ years. My brother is attached to her hip at nearly 21, and has always been her baby, I dont compare.
I know my grandma is correct when she says my mom has been jealous of me for years. I was 5'3", 100lbs for the longest time (now I'm around 115). When my mom was my age, she was as well. She's got a thyroid problem and has gained weight. She is jealous that I have someone I love and am still cuddly happy with after ~6 years. She cant stand my dad - they basically just reside together in the same home and don't know how to speak, just yell, when talking. She is jealous I make as much as she does, but she's 51 and been in her field for 32 years, whereas I'm 23 and been in my field for 4 years (though the cost of living in NC is less than SC, and salaries reflect that). She's jealous I have a new car, a new house, and no financial worries, but she's brought her problems upon herself and because of her spending habits. When my parents moved, she had $30,000 in credit card debt that my dad didn't even know about until signing the deed came around.
Well hubby and I are having a Labor Day cookout. I invited my parents and brother. It's a 3 hour drive, so not even a day-long drive or anything to get here. My mom kept changing the subject when I mentioned it, so I asked my brother if they were coming. He said he thought they were. My dad wants to come because he wants to get away from both of them, but he doesn't have much money as he's retired and spends all his social security money on cigarettes and beer. I emailed my mom yesterday and she responded saying "I'm not coming. Your brother may if he doesnt have to work and your father wants to." Well my brother isn't going to spend 3 hours in a vehicle with my dad, because they cant stand to be in the same house most of the time. And he doesn't go anywhere without my mom. I told him today "you guys don't like me, you never come to visit me." They've been here 3 times since I moved 5 years ago. I've been there countless times, it used to be multiple times per month we'd go up there. When they come, I or my MIL pay for their hotel since they are tight on money.
Last time they came was Christmas, since it was the first Xmas in our house. My MIL had her credit card on file to pay the $78 for the hotel room, and my mom refused to let her pay and took out her card instead and paid. Now my brother is having a fit saying we never paid for the room and they can't afford gas and hotel rooms to come see me. My mom's priorities are obviously in order (sarcasm). She cant come see her only daughter, but she can spend money weekly on acrylic nails, pedicures, hair styling, clothes, jewelry. Then complain she has no money in the bank.
Rob is at the point where he doesn't want to visit them in NC anymore if they cant put forth effort to see their family here, when we are offering to pay for them to stay in hotels. We dont ask them to come often. My in-laws cant understand why they are so adverse to coming here once in awhile. Yeah money is tight, because they MAKE it that way, and we offer to help make the trip affordable and they still wont come.
I know we are still going to have an awesome time at the party, but it sucks when everyone wonders why my family is always MIA. They begin to think they live in Jersey still instead of NC, and when they find out they're so close they cant understand why they dont make a trip 1-2x a year. My dad does want to come, hasnt told me if he is or not yet. The only downside is that he's already told me he's going to sleep on our couch, even though there's a reason we don't have guest rooms - ever since living with Rob's parents we didn't want anyone staying in our house. That and we'll be sleeping in (he'll probably be sleeping by 9pm and up by 5am!) and have a lot of cleaning up to do and he will stay as long as possible to not have to go back to his house in NC. I've always been daddy's girl and feel bad saying that but I'm probably 99% accurate on it - and he wont stay at a hotel or in my in-laws guest room. They live right behind us, as our land was given to us by them, and they would love for him to stay there and actually sleep on a BED instead of a beat couch.
Buncha drama, such is my life, should have taken notice that half my family doesn't speak to each other or like each other, and now I see how it all comes about.