I very unexpectedly lost my girl today.
I still laugh remembering the pet finder ad that described her as a sweet girl. She was anything but sweet, but did show me she loved me in her own ways.
She was never a lap kitty, but on the day I wrote her sister’s name as my favorite pet on a security question for something (because she was the one who sat on my lap the most), Sophie sat in my lap for a full ten minutes. Never before and never again, but she did spend most of her evenings sitting NEXT to me on the arm of the chair, sometimes snuggling up to me, sometimes grooming me, and lately exchanging Eskimo kisses with me. She made some good biscuits from time to time too. She was always there to greet me when I got out of the shower.
She was always ready for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which should have been my first clue something was wrong; she didn’t come running when I filled the bowl this morning. I was on my way out the door when I heard a strange meow. Went back in and found her halfway to the bowl, on her side, breathing strangely. She couldn’t stand up properly and I could tell she was sick. I took her to the emergency vet (because of course this would happen on a Saturday). Her temp was very low and her pulse weak and she was very pale by the time we got there. The vet said right away he was very concerned, and gave me a few possible diagnoses. Her blood work showed anemia, very low blood sugar, and protein off the charts. After seeing the results, he said there was little chance it was something curable, so I let her go rather than putting her through a bunch of testing and prolonging her suffering for what likely would be a very short, painful last few weeks or months.
Looking back, of course I question what I may have missed. She did have some vomiting and diarrhea a few weeks ago, but it seemed to be related to either eating too fast or eating too much dry food; when I gave her more freeze dried raw snd less kibble, it stopped. Her blood work earlier this year did have a few things just barely outside the normal range, but my vet thought it was probably due to inflammation from dental issues.
It feels ridiculous to say this, but I feel lucky that euthanasia was the obvious choice and not a decision I had to agonize over. She had clearly deteriorated in the 2+ hours since I left the house, and was crying, likely in pain, when I was holding her to say goodbye.
I did not stay with her for the euthanasia. I do feel a little guilty about that, but I didn’t know if I could take it.
