something has to be done (long, im sorry.)

[riffxraff]

Jericho is weird about strangers. Especially women. We know this, and have stopped having people over because of it.

Saturday my boyfriends mom came to pick him up to go to a family wedding. She rang the doorbell, matt opened the door and jericho (hissing and growling) charged her (she was still in the apartment hallway, where he is TERRIFIED of) and latched onto her thigh. We got him off and she went to the bathroom and came out with 3 very large, very bloody gashes on her leg from his claws.

This is not the first time this has happened but is by far the worst incident we've had. I bought Starting from Scratch by Pam Johnson-Bennett as suggested on here and Ive read almost all of it in a day but not a bunch of it really pertains to jericho. I learned how to play with him better and how to change his environment to help. But the real problem is the aggression, and most of that chapter is about cat on cat aggression. The only thing thats left is the vet or a behaviorist to help because I just think he has been through too much in a short period of time to get the help we need for a book or websites.

This issue has been bothering me a bunch since saturday. I feel guilty for him being like this, like I didnt raise him right, or address it correctly when I should have. Its my fault he went through so many changes, its my fault hes afraid of strangers now, and i hate knowing he doesnt even feel safe enough in his own home. He has nothing to do with us for more than 3 seconds at a time (as far as physical contact), but i could play with him for hours as long as i do not touch him. He will greet me and nudge my hand and scent it (like he wants to be petted) but the second I touch HIM I'm getting bit.

But what really kills me is the thought that if I cant figure out how to get him over this aggression and be more social and calm and it just gets worse that we will have to give him away. I would exhaust everything before doing that but, what if nothing works? And then what if we have a kid and he is aggressive towards it? I'm just feeling helpless at this point in the game and have no clue where to turn anymore. Ive tried to find animal behavorists in st. louis but have come up blank. I dont know if I'm even looking in the right place. I'm rambling now..but any help or suggestions (yet again) would be wonderful.

 

[auntie crazy]

I saw in another thread that you were considering bringing in a companion for Jericho... did you make a decision on that?

I ask because one of my cats, Ralph, had an attitude that strongly resembles the behavior you describe in Jericho. Ralph would attack anyone he didn't know like he was a police dog acting on the "kill" command. It was insanely scary to watch.

He was especially fixated on women, and even after he stopped going after men, it was several months before he stopped going after female guests. He once attacked my neighbor when he got loose in the hallway - bit her awfully hard, there was blood everywhere - and refused to let her enter her apartment. I had to leave work to remove him before she could get in.

Ralph was also completely and TOTALLY clueless about feline manners. He had none, he recognized none, and he was thoroughly oblivious to my other cats' warnings when he crossed their boundaries. There were a whole lotta spats initially.

I've had Ralph for one year and four months now. He is one hundred percent a different cat. He greets my guests with nose kisses and - for the most part - he respects the other cats' needs. One of the best improvements he's made is in his manner of playing with me. He still pounces my legs when I walk by, but his claws are no longer out. He still bites me, but it's gentle and clearly an attempt at affection, versus the, "holy mother, he's trying to take my hand off" behavior of before.

I used Feliway in every room in the house and two in the living room. I worked with him every day, giving him his version of love when he behaved and turning my back and walking away from him when he bit too hard or clawed. I brought people in the house and then had them offer him tidbits if he behaved, or locked him in a spare bedroom until they left when he didn't. (At first, I had to body block him until he stopped the full on attacking.)

I really think, however, that the other cats had at least as much influence on him as I did, and I think, maybe, a kitty companion might do the same for Jericho.

I sure hope something works! It's awful having a cat you can't touch or hug, and I can't even imagine not being able to have guests over at all, ever.

<<<Hugs!>>>

AC

 

[rubsluts'mommy]

Have you tried feliway plugins? Talked to your vet about it? I had JoJo and Jack on kitty-sized doses of prozac for a while... personally, I think JoJo needs to be back on it, but it has to wait. She was fine in NY, other than being shy, then a bad roommate in Chicago... then a long drive cooped up in a homemade cage with Jack for six days just pushed her over the edge. She's been the most 'moody' since coming to Portland.

these are permanent fixes... although they can be long term... and I think there are some folks here with kitties on meds like prozac and they are on them for very long term/life. I'm sure my response will be one of many as folks who've had similar issues also respond. Try some Feliway... it's available at the stores. There are also calming treats, etc. The vet can help you with behavior stuff.

I also have a couple books on feline behavior. One is called Psycho Kitty, and there's a chapter on aggression. Maybe you can find it in a library somewhere, or used cheap online. You can also find, if you believe in this stuff, a pet psychic. This is how I found out about JoJo's "bratty big sister" games... I thought, for years, that she just hated Jack... nope... she just loved tormenting him.

Good luck.
Amanda

 

[Willowy]

I guess that if I had a pet that didn't like guests, I would just put him in the bedroom when guests come over (before answering the door!)

.

 

[ligwa]

Originally Posted by Willowy

I guess that if I had a pet that didn't like guests, I would just put him in the bedroom when guests come over (before answering the door!)

.

Ditto.
I put my girl kitty in a room alone only because she is so afraid of strangers. If I don't get her into a room alone she will run all over the place looking for a place to hide. It's stressful for her. Sage advise above.

 

[pami]

Every cat is different, but I will share some of my story over the last 6 months where I have seen so many positive changes with my babies.

I have a Mom cat and her babies that the vet deemed feral from their first vet visit. When Easy (mom cat) had her babies and people wanted to see them, there was someone Easy charged towards once they stepped inside the front door. So I took that to mean, she didnt want anyone (except those she knew before birth) to see her babies so I didnt let anyone see them.

As they all grew, I noticed when anyone would come over they would automatically run and hide (they did accept people Easy knew before she gave birth and I had no problems with that). So I started putting them up when someone was coming over. I felt so strong about making sure my babies were never stressed that I even adopted the idea that if anyone came without calling me first ( because they run and hide with the doorbell/knock) I would not answer the door because I was not going to have them huddled down somewhere, scared while someone was here.

Later in their lives, there was an instance where 3 of the babies charged someone they did know all of their lives, my nephew. (and this is just a theory, but my nephew was going through puberty and I think his smell changed) So I started putting them up in their safe room around my nephew, but we worked on that a lot, by having him lay down on the ground holding his hand out to them, several times a day, until they felt safe around him again.

6 months ago, someone new came into their lives. Easy the Mom cat did know him before and he had even come to visit her over the years. Of those visits over the years, the first time she and her babies ran away from him. So the following times he would come to visit, I left them in their safe room with the door open, but she or her babies would never come out to see him.

For some reason and I do not know the reason, this time when they saw him, they came straight to him. He started working with them every single day, heavily. My babies love to be brushed, so he would brush all of them several times a day. He played with them with string toys several times a day. They would come to him for cuddles and he would cuddle with them several times a day. He would give them catnip and treats. I have 5 cats, so it was a lot of work to do all of those things several times a day to each one of them, but those are the things they love, so that is what he gave them.

Then his son came from college to stay with us for a bit. I was really nervous about that, so I put them in their safe rooms upstairs. Within 5 minutes of his son arriving, they were scratching on the doors upstairs to be let out. So I opened the door. I asked his son to be completely still when the babies approached him.

All 5 of my babies went right up to him and head bumped him on his legs. My intention was to give them some time with him and then take them back to their safe rooms, but as it turned out, they loved him. They went to him for cuddles and gave him sweet headbumps and even slept with him at night while he was here.

They do still run when someone rings/knocks on the door. (postman, delivery driver etc.) but so far anyone new for them, they are really coming around and being accepting.

The only thing I can attribute it to is they were feeling very safe by being in a constant environment of things they loved. (and I cannot stress the word "constant" enough because in those first few months, it was literally a constant effort giving them all of those things they love)
I did and do love on my babies every single day, but I wasn't providing it to them constantly. Actually, we had this relationship where they came to me for what they loved and I gave it to them.
But now, they are getting those things they love without coming to me and I am sure that it helps that it is x2 people now.

Of course, things have settled down a bit with all of the "constant", and they do still get their love fill every single day, but something about that initial "constant" helped them so much.

This was just my kitties and their personalities, but maybe if you could find someone who would help you with Jericho in giving him those things he loves and cannot resist, and give him those things constantly for a bit, it might help him feel more safe and teach him that everything is ok around him.... just some things for you to think about that might possibly help you and Jericho.

 

[Willowy]

For normal cats I think that would work. . .but Jericho attacks guests! To prevent any more guests from being mauled, I think he needs to be put in another room. If someone is brave and can help with the desensitizing it might work, but it might be hard to find a willing volunteer!

 

[riffxraff]

I do put him in a room now, but my boyfriend apparently thinks he's just going to get better and so he didn't put him up when the door rang and I was in the other room and thought since she wasnt coming in it'd be fine..obviously I was wrong.

But I do not want to live with a cat that HAS to be locked in a room. He hates it. He cries and scratches at the door the whole time (hours at a time). He doesn't cower or get spooked by anything, he just attacks, off the jump. He will sniff around, investigate, then immediately strike. Full on, ears back, whiskers back, head back and strikes like a cobra. Sometimes there's hissing involved.

Yes I was considering another cat, but my boyfriend moved back in and won't allow it and I just cannot afford it right now at all.

I am getting feliway tomorrow. I had to wait till I got paid. I'm really hoping that helps some. He is getting way better with us at the pouncing, but no nails extended, baby nips, but not biting it's just strangers (and when pet, but I'm learning his warning signs and that not all cats are pet crazy and some dislike it a lot). My bf jokes that jericho feels I'm HIS gf and no one is allowed near me. He's not aggressive towards my bf tho if were cuddling, it's only strangers. It started when we got him back from the girl he was staying with for two weeks then I got him neutered about a month later and that's when he got CRAZY aggressive towards everyone except us 2.

I've been giving him 2 play sessions a day. Lots of praise when he's good, and creating more "safe haven" spots for him, along with more comfy perches since he loves being up high(like all cats). I really want this to get and for him to be happy. I never thought I could love this little furbaby as much as I do. I'll do anything to make things better for him and our family.

 

[auntie crazy]

It sounds as though you have a good plan with several specific activities that you are working diligently to implement, and that you are already seeing some improvement.

That's wonderful, and very encouraging!

A few more thoughts / tips:

The feliway will be only be effective if you install one plugin per average-sized room, for each room to which the cat has access.

If the cat handles cat carriers without freaking out, you can facilitate his desensitization to strangers by putting him in the carrier and then bringing a guest in. You can talk in soothing tunes with the guest in full view of Jericho without jeopardizing your guests safety. You can even toss treats into the crate while you're talking to associate good things with guests visiting, and have the guest(s) do the same. If you can, larger crates would be better (more comfortable) for Jericho, but start with very short sessions (five minutes or so) regardless of the size of the crate.

Also, you might want to have a chat with your boyfriend. Putting the cat in a safe room once in a while is a whole lot less stressful than having to pry him off yet another guest. If your bf can't understand that, he should at least do you the courtesy of stepping out of your way while you do what you need to do to help Jericho.

As for adopting a companion for Jericho, while finances most definitely impact those types of decisions, a boyfriend's preferences should not (EVER, in my opinion) come before Jericho's needs.

On a separate note, why is Jericho in that room for "hours at a time"? Can you keep guest visits limited while you are working with him? It's possible, maybe, that if he is being locked up for several hours whenever guests come over that he is associating their presence with being kept away from you and the rest of his territory and is fighting back the only way he knows how.

Crating him and having you and the guests give him treats and, later, as he calms down a bit, even playing with him (lonnngggg toys like Da Bird!), he'll begin to associate guests with positive activities instead of negative.

I applaud you for your dedication to making this work with your kitty! Keep the faith, RiffxRaff, change CAN happen!

AC

 

[riffxraff]

Ill try that crate idea, he doesn't hate his crate and I think he'd be great with a bigger one. As for matt, this is our apartment but it's in his name. We took a short break (two months) to deal with some relationship stuff and work on ourselves a bit and for awhile I didn't think he would end up coming back since we had discussed putting the lease in my name. But he did. And my financial situation decreased drastically last week and will be depleated for another 2 months at the least, so it's not completely out of the question but it will have to wait.

As for being in the room, it was 1 time for almost 3 hours and we were having a birthday party for my sister and he had been out some of the night but then he got very aggressive again so I put him up. Other than that we don't have company anymore because of it and if for some odd reason we do, it's never more than 20-25 minutes.