Some small issues with introduction to another cat

[airhoodz]

So I have a 6 month old kitten. MY girlfriend and I live with my girlfriends sister who has about a 13-14 month old cat.

Her cat is VERY skittish and spooks easily. It hates being pet and is uninterested with toys and barely likes play. So far we've only let monitored sessions take place and the kitten stays in our bedroom but he's getting to where I want to let him run around and be out of our room. For a short while the cats are fine together, the resident cat(older skittish one) even licks our kitten a little bit) then they start running around and jumping on each other. There's been no hissing just some tackling and swatting, although most if it seems playful the tackling worries me, because then they just chase each other and my cat gets very defensive.

The resident cat also stalks the kitten a lot. The kitten will be playing or lounging and he's just there stalking. I've tried tossing pillows, clapping, lots of things but the resident cat just speeds up his assault after a short retreat and then comes back. My other concern is that when they chase, the kitten starts panting after a short while, and I think they'd be fine if they can run it out, but I don't want him to push it. I brought the panting up to the vet and they said his breathing and heart are fine, it's probably just excitement/an odd trait, right after the activity he stops and it doesn't continue after rest.

Does anyone have any tips for how I can handle this? I introduced them slowly behind a door and followed steps, should I just let them wrestle around and not worry about it until I hear a yelp? The wrestling is hard to tell because they kind of lock up but no hisses or anything as I said.

 

[crazycatlady19]

If youve already slowly introduced them it would be a good idea to go ahead and let the youngest explore. Theyll still play rough but it should stop soon and unless the kitten seems scared of the resident cat theres nothing to worry about the play fighting

 

[airhoodz]

If youve already slowly introduced them it would be a good idea to go ahead and let the youngest explore. Theyll still play rough but it should stop soon and unless the kitten seems scared of the resident cat theres nothing to worry about the play fighting

Thank you!

Anyone else agree/have other advice?

 

[shadowsrescue]

How slowly did you introduce them and did you happen to rush any steps?  Last year when I introduced my resident cat to a stray/feral I brought inside the house it took a very long time.  I did the introduction steps and felt all was going really well.  I was so anxious for them to be together.  I rushed the last steps and it cost me dearly.  The hissing, chasing, growling, arching backs, yowling soon escalated into full out full blown fights.  The hissing, chasing, growling, etc... were warning signs.  I had to separate the cats and start all over.  My resident cat was a fearful mess.  This was his turf and now he is being asked to share it.  He was not being mean, just defending his territory.  Of course my new boy, wanted a piece of the territory too. 

So when I talk of slow introductions, it can be months.  My two can now peacefully coexist in the house, but they are not buddies at all.  They may sleep in the same room together for short naps, but they do not play, snuggle or seek out each other.  Yet, peace is all I wanted! 

If you could explain the steps you took to introductions and how long you worked on it that might help us give you some suggestions.

 

[airhoodz]

 
How slowly did you introduce them and did you happen to rush any steps?  Last year when I introduced my resident cat to a stray/feral I brought inside the house it took a very long time.  I did the introduction steps and felt all was going really well.  I was so anxious for them to be together.  I rushed the last steps and it cost me dearly.  The hissing, chasing, growling, arching backs, yowling soon escalated into full out full blown fights.  The hissing, chasing, growling, etc... were warning signs.  I had to separate the cats and start all over.  My resident cat was a fearful mess.  This was his turf and now he is being asked to share it.  He was not being mean, just defending his territory.  Of course my new boy, wanted a piece of the territory too.

So when I talk of slow introductions, it can be months.  My two can now peacefully coexist in the house, but they are not buddies at all.  They may sleep in the same room together for short naps, but they do not play, snuggle or seek out each other.  Yet, peace is all I wanted!

If you could explain the steps you took to introductions and how long you worked on it that might help us give you some suggestions.

For about 2 weeks they didn't even see each other, I would feed them both on the opposite sides of the doors and let them do that. after about 3 weeks of them only smelling eachother, we let them be in one room together, which went fine. When supervised they act fine. We did this one day on one day off for about a week and a half, and then let them wander the house. They don't hiss, they smell eachother and swat a little bit, but they seem playful. The younger kitten though will go to walk away and do his own thing, and the resident cat will stalk him, and just bother him until it starts to upset him, and that's when the chasing and aggression starts. The resident cat just doesn't know how to leave him alone.

I also want to mention the resident cat is actually my Girlfriends sisters cat. He is not a very nice cat, and doesn't really like anything. If you try to pet him he flinches and runs off and is very mean beyond that. He's very aggressive, and he isn't my cat so I can't really try to train him. I think it's because she treats him like a dog and plays with him roughly, when she pets him she kind of wrestles around with him, and also supports poor behavior and thinks his "Clawing" is him playing with you. Also giving in to whatever he wants when he meows. He also doesn't get much play time at all, as she's never home. My girlfriend and I try to play with him, but one cat is enough for us and sometimes it's difficult to give another cat full attention.

Even when we moved, she just threw him into our apartment which is pretty big, and he stayed hidden for a few days, rather than slowly introduce him. I think his actions are a lot of neglect/lack of play, but even when we try to play with him, he has little interest in toys, which I think goes back to him not being played with as a kitten.

 

[shadowsrescue]

I think your situation is going to be very difficult if you don't have the help or support of your girlfriends sister.  If you are all living together and everyone is paying rent, then the owners of the cats should get together and come up with a plan.  Otherwise for your kitten's sake you may need to keep him in your room to keep him safe. 

Here are some articles to cat to cat introductions and a video done by Jackson Galaxy on cat to cat introductions.  You will need to your girlfriends sister to be a part of the solution.  It will take all of you to work on this situation. 

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

 

[airhoodz]

 
I think your situation is going to be very difficult if you don't have the help or support of your girlfriends sister.  If you are all living together and everyone is paying rent, then the owners of the cats should get together and come up with a plan.  Otherwise for your kitten's sake you may need to keep him in your room to keep him safe.

Here are some articles to cat to cat introductions and a video done by Jackson Galaxy on cat to cat introductions.  You will need to your girlfriends sister to be a part of the solution.  It will take all of you to work on this situation.

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

I think he might just be in our room until the year is over, it's only about 8 months left until she moves out. The other cat is very difficult to deal with, and she sees nothing wrong with most of his behavior and things they're "playing" when it's very clear that the resident cat is just stalking and causing trouble. It's very apparent, his eyes are wide, ears are back and he's very aggressive with his swatting. It's pretty rough. He doesn't even handle people well, it really kind of stinks.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Is there a reason you can't approach her or your girlfriend approach her sister and show her the information on proper cat to cat introductions and how it might make the living arrangements for all much better?  You have 8 months to go and that is a long time for a kitten to be cooped up in one room.  Maybe she would give you permission to work with her cat and she could follow your guidelines when you are around.  What is wrong with her putting her cat in her room?  I guess I would think that in the very least the cats should be swapping time put away.  That way it gives each cat time to be out and about.

 

[smokem]

My male cat Pufasmoke does that to the female,Cookie.

He fights with her over using the litter box.And even though they are both fixed,

he throws his leg over her and bites her scruff as if to mate.They have lived together for few years.

At some points I thought of getting rid of him.But I kept reading,normal behavior for male cat,territorial etc.

I keep loving them both,and pray they dont get too violent with each other.

These are rescues and 10 or more years old,mind you.So Cookie spends a lot of time outside in the summer.

She loves outside.One day at a time with this stuff.

One book was helpful,very old reference..The City Cat by Roz Riddle.

Your kitten is going to get bigger and who knows will maybe have the upper hand then.

Again maybe the older cat had no mothering and so doesnt know how to be around other felines.

 

[airhoodz]

 
Is there a reason you can't approach her or your girlfriend approach her sister and show her the information on proper cat to cat introductions and how it might make the living arrangements for all much better?  You have 8 months to go and that is a long time for a kitten to be cooped up in one room.  Maybe she would give you permission to work with her cat and she could follow your guidelines when you are around.  What is wrong with her putting her cat in her room?  I guess I would think that in the very least the cats should be swapping time put away.  That way it gives each cat time to be out and about.

She doesn't think there's anything wrong and definitely a "I'm always right" it really stinks living with her. She isn't open to anything at all. Honestly I don't even think it was the introduction, I think I could introduce them slowly for the rest of my life and her cat still wouldn't get along with another cat. The way she plays with him and the way she takes care of him is not any way a cat(or any animal) should be raised. He still isn't even used to me and it's been 4 months. When I pet him he will arch his back so his belly is close to the ground so that I can't touch him, and then runs off. About 50% of the time if I try to pet him he will roll onto his back and use all four legs to claw and attempt to bite.

I think he's just severely stressed. She left him home a lot as a kitten, I've rarely seen her spend more than 5 minutes playing with him. Her playing amounts to throwing beer bottle caps to him because he'll play fetch with them. Mind you, unwashed bottle caps, that probably have some trace of alcohol on them. I've already spoken to her multiple times about this. When she moved in with us she came from a very small studio apartment to our pretty large 3 bedroom apartment and didn't introduce him slowly at all, just threw him in there. I just think he needs to be shown love and a lot of care, and I'm working on that.

When she isn't home I put him away and let my kitten out, and I'm going to keep trying to see if at least they can calm down and he will stop chasing. It would be fine if he would just leave him alone for a while. It's really a huge bummer and I had no idea what I was getting into agreeing to let her move in(albeit it was before we adopted the cat). I'm just going to try to get him as much time in our apartment as possible, and try to get them to co-exist and if not just get him as much alone time out as we can.