Some days Im Ready To Give up! And feel so upset over it!

[calamityjane]

Hi Im CalamityJane and have 4 indoor cats, all rescued from the streets. My two oldest are 16 and 14 years old, We've actually had 4 but lost two last year to cancer which was hard enough.  So, this past summer we suddenly see two feral kitties with their very feral mama out in our back yard, Of course we are feeding them daily and they are use to us.  Tinker bell was the first kitten to start venturing out from the nest sort to speak and was very curious and eager to learn about life outside. We would watch from our window every day. Mama was always with her, Then about two weeks later here comes another kitten clinging next to mama and Tinkderbell.  We call him Baby. He looked to be the runt of the litter and had no tail,  We would feed them daily but could never get too close to them.  Then about a month later here comes the most adorable little orange fluff ball I've ever seen.  He was very tiny and I don't believe he was from Mama's litter, although he somehow seemed to adopt himself to her and her group,  I knew I had to have him because he was the spitting image of a cat I had had over 25 years ago who passed away from an illness, his name was Fee Fee  So when I see this little one I decided to call him FEE Fee too, I know it sounds strange but he would look at me as if he had known me before,  So one hot night in July I decided to take him in, He's been here ever since and has the run of the place, He took right over you can say   Since my other two cats are elderly and Fee Fee is so playful we decided to get a playmate for him.  Our goal was to try to get Mama's two kittens when they were old enough to be away from her. Well that was proving to be a handful since they were all feral. In the meantime, A friend of my daughter's bought over a kitten he had found near his job, She was a little scrawny thing, all black with white paws so we called her Bootsie.  Took her and Fee Fee to the Vets for shots etc and they both wound up having colds and eye sores, I'm assuming from Bootise because FeeFee was fine when he was with us.  Anyway, to make a long story short my daughter suddenly brings home another kitten from another friend named Casper. I really didnt want another one because we were waiting to get the two ferals outside but when i saw Casper i feel in love with him, Bootsie just loved him!!  Fee Fee was hesitant at first but warmed up to him pretty fast, The three of them played and played all day. Then we got the most dreadful news you'd ever want to hear, Casper had wound up with the FIP illness and was getting sicker by the day.  It started out with a herpes infection in his eyes, then his poor little belly swelled up and he would sleep all the time, We we devastated  as we only had him not even two months yet!  The Vet said he wouldn't last much longer. He passed away last month and we were all so so upset. We grew to love Casper so much.  He was all white except for a black tail, Our hearts were broke. Losing 3 fur babies in one year was just too much.   Fastfoward to now,  Suddenly Mama cat hasn't been seen around with her now much older kittens, So I asked my neighbor who also feeds them if she's seen Mama around,  She did and it was heartbreaking news, Mama got run over by a car right in front of my house!!!  Thank God I didnt see it and thank God Rosie was there and stayed with Mama and wrapped her in a tower to bring her to the Vets where she had already passed on.  So now Tinkerbell and Baby are alone and we're still feeding them.  Tinker bell has gotten more friendly with us and allows us to pet him, So we finally managed to get him in the cage and off to the Vets to be neutered and have his shots and to be checked out etc,   The sad thing is that we hated separated him and Baby because they were always together but it was so hard to even get close to Baby at all. He is much more feral than his brother is for some reason?  Tinker bell is now with us in our home and adjusting quite nicely after a few yowls and meows over at the windows and doors for awhile.He now seems content to stay in and our other cats adore him. So we try to get Baby now so they can be together. What an adventure that proved to be!  My husband managed to lure Baby in our basement apartment with food and then had to tie a string to the outside door and go in through the window to grab the string to tie it shut.  Baby wasn't happy in the least.  Our plan was to get him into the apartment after we hot him into the hallway.  Well in our hallway there is a little opening in the wall up high to where the shut off valves are for the water outside.  I said to my husband "what if Baby tries to go in there"  he says "oh no, he wouldn't be able to jump that high"  WELL HELLO. Where do you think Baby went as soon as he saw hubby coming into the hallway???  You guess it, right into the opening.  Now he was in there for two nights and I knew it wasn't going to be good so I told hubby we'd have to go in and get him out. We had to cut a portion of the wall out and finally Baby ran out and straight into the empty apartment where it was all cat proofed and safe!  Anyway after a few timid starts Baby actually let me pet him and was even purring very loudly I am proud to say.  He was a little timid of my hubby but then allowed him to pet him too and also purred.  After a few days of this we finally managed to get him into the carrier and off to the Vets to be neutered and have his shots just like Tinkerbell.  When we picked him up the Vet said to be careful with him as he's "semi feral"   Well now he's home and we have him in our back spare bedroom up here in our home and has taken up residence either under my large treadmill or the clothes closet thats in that room.  He does eat well (when no one is there of course and has used the litter box)  but will not come out at all when we're in there.   A few days of this we thought that maybe brining Tinkerbell, his brother in might help.  Well it wasn't the happy reunion I was hoping for. Baby just hissed and growled at him. Tinker bell got scared and ran out.  Tonight it was a little better when Tinkerbell came in again and they were kind of hitting each other with their paws, not in a fighting way, no hissing or growling but not exactly playful either. Thats what they use to do outside all the time though,  Then after that little exchange Baby flew right back into the closet again.  I just feel so bad for him and wonder will he ever be able to adjust to our home and walk freely all over the house as well has his brother Tinkerbell has been doing?  In the basement apartment he was allowing me to pet him at least and even purring, now, he just hides from me, it's so frustrating.  Our female cat Bootsie who is so friendly is also trying her hardest to get to know him but he won't have nothing to do with her as of yet and just growls and hisses.  I don't know what else to do?  I feel like Im back to square one again with him.  The Vet said they're about a year old but Baby does look a lot smaller than his brother Tinkerbell and I think Baby got picked on a lot from other other feral cats outside too, I would even see his Mama cat smacking him from time to time, while none of them bothered Tinkerbell.  So if anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it.  Sorry for the long story, 

CalamityJane

 

[ondine]

Wow, you have been through a lot!   Blessings on you for taking on all of these babies.  I am not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed.

But think about it this way - you can understand all that's been going on - the changes, the newcomers, the deaths.  Now think about Baby.  He's always been picked on and he found himself alone - no mom and no brother.  All that was familiar to him - gone.

Then suddenly he's inside this house that smells and looks differently than anything he's ever seen.  And there are these two huge beings!  Yipes!

From his vantage point, you guys are dangerous.  But it won't take him long to realize that isn't true.  In feral rescue, it is always two steps forward and one (sometimes three!) back.

He will sooner or later begin to grasp the concept that this inside gig isn't so bad.  But the key to that is routine and patience.  Allow him to be in his room for as long as it takes for him to begin to feel comfortable.  Leave the intros to later.  He needs to adjust and there's plenty of time for him to meet the rest of the gang.

Feed, scoop poops and visit him at the same times every day.  He needs to feel secure that his world won't turn upside down again. It might take a few weeks or even months.

Also remember that he may never be a lap cat.  If he learns to co-exist with the other cats and live indoors without a lot of drama, he's got a good life!

And a great big "thank you" and hug for all you are doing!

 

[di and bob]

Don't you ever think you are not helping to make these little one's life much better, you are! You gave loving homes, food and care to those who needed it, and comfort in the last days of life is immeasurable. I, too, have done through the heartache of losing those sweet babies, some literally babies. It always brings a pang to my heart when I think of how they died, or if something could have been done different. But i know each and every one was feeling love and had a home. We can't bring any more cats into our small house, but I do what I can to make the outside cats lives a little better, heated beds and food twice a day. I have so many little graves around our property it is horrible to think of them all. We live on a busy street and many have been hit in front of our house. I even tried feeding them across the street for a year, but it didn't help. Just cling to the fact that they felt your love and you did what you could. You DID make a difference. 

As for Baby, he just needs a lot of time to adjust, they all do. Our cats took over A YEAR, to adjust to each other when we blended two families together. It has been 5 years now and everyone gets along, no big fights, just the occasional spat when someone gets on the others nerves. Make sure Baby always has a place to escape to, up high is good, my Chrissy spent a year on top of the fridge in a bed. Sit quietly and talk to him, offer yummy treats and don't let the others bully him, we have a little one that everyone likes to bully, and they scatter now when they see me coming, they know I am not happy! They don't want to be ostracized to a bedroom for a while. Once they go through something like that it seems to make them a little more accepting of others, my inside cats mingle with the outside cats with no problems after seeing each other fro a year through the patio door, so miracles do happen. I'll pray for you all, just know you are not alone in your feelings and your grief, there are many out here who feel the same. Just don't give up, you will be blessed fro your work, your little ones already bless the day they found you. All the luck and keep us posted! 

 

[Shane Kent]

@CalamityJane

I find it incredibly heart breaking when I read of cats passing away while someone is trying desperately to save them. However, it warms my heart to know someone like you was by their side and they did not die alone. Please don't ever give up, the world needs more people like you. I hope you can find solace in knowing the cat died being cared for and did not die alone.

I have two siblings that were feral. Rusty and his much smaller sister Kitty. Kitty progressed slower than Rusty. When I was feeding them outside Rusty always came first to scope out the situation before his little sister arrived. My bond with the cats differ in that I look after Rusty and he looks after his little sister Kitty. I feel that Rusty socialized faster than Kitty out of necessity. I stuck with Kitty and although she was more stubborn than her big brother she slowly came around.

I hope this next year is far better to you than the previous. I wish I could offer you lots of advice but I think the most I can offer you is gratitude.