Socializing an adult cat HELP!

[hawaii bound]

Okay, here's the back story. I got Houdini when he was about 4mo, his mom was feral and the lady I got him from said he went through the car engine when he was 3mo, fell out while she was driving down the road and she went back and got him. He had bad worms when I got him and now I've had him for 2 years now and I would swear he has autism or something. He was just starting to warm up to me and be like a "normal" kitten when I took him at 6mo to get neutered. After that he became very afraid. I can't get close to him or he runs away. He acts like it hurts to pet him, so I don't try anymore. I can't pick him up for anything, most of the time he stays under the bed, and his eyes are most always dilated. Most people have just said he's shy, but it's more than that. I've had him long enough that he shouldn't be scared of me, but he is. He's scared of everything. It just breaks my heart. Has anyone dealt with a cat like this, or have any suggestions that might help him?

 

[shadowsrescue]

It sounds as though he has reverted back to his feral nature and is having a difficult time coming back out.  I am sure the neutering process was difficult for him.  Vet visits are often traumatic for cats and one that is feral in nature it can be extreme.  I have used Rescue remedy to help with vet visits and in times of stress. 

What have you tried to break him out of his shell?

With an adult feral, eye contact is often threatening to them.  If you make direct eye contact with him and he runs or takes off, you will want to keep your gaze down.  You can do slow blinks with him and see how he responds. 

Do you play with him?  I mean really play??  The da bird toy is the ultimate and cats go crazy for it.  He might be a be afraid at first, but keep at it.  Also a laser pointer, catnip toys, mice, etc..  Does he have a cat tree or place to look outside and enjoy nature?  You can place a bird feeder for extra enjoyment outside a window. 

To help get him close to you, have you tried food rewards?  Cats go crazy for Gerber stage 2 chicken/turkey baby food.  You want the kind in a small jar that is chicken/turkey and water only; not added spices.  You can use this to coax him to you.  Give him a small amount on a paper plate so he gets the smell and taste.  You can then coax him to eat it on a spoon and then to lick it off your fingers.  You can also offer plain cooked chicken or tuna.  These are only given in small amounts when working on resocializing.  Yet, you can offer it a few times a day when working with him. 

As for petting, he may be a cat that is energetically not into petting.  One of my resident cats can only stand a few seconds of petting and then he will bite.  His back will ripple and you can tell that it is not pleasurable to him.  It's just the way he is.  Yet, he enjoys playing and loves special food treats.  I socialized a 7 month old feral a few years back.  He was very wild.  I took it very slowly with him and it took me almost 7 months to pet him.  I took a long wand and wrapped an old sock around it.  I duct taped it to the wand.  It was very soft.  He would play with it and then I would take the wand and gently touch him back with it.  At first he freaked, but I kept at it offering food rewards along the way.  I then moved the wand to his head and eventually under his chin.  After about a month of this and him just loving the wand, I put the wand on him back and then pulled it towards my body while moving my hand to him.  He didn't even know it was my hand.  Once he did, he didn't care because he loved the petting so much.

I know your boy is older, but when I socialized my first feral, I watched a series of videos  It gave me the idea of the baby food as well as the wand.  It might help you.

The videos are in a series of 3 that start with the rescue of the kittens.  Keep watching!

http://www.urbancatleague.org/TamingVideo

 

[hawaii bound]

As for breaking him out of his shell, I have tried cat treats, but he doesn't really like them. I got some rescue remedy, but haven't tried it yet. I'm away for a few days and plan to try as soon as I get back home.

He is pretty friendly with my other cats, so no problems there. As far as playing, I try, but most of the time he doesn't seem to know how. He will watch the other cats, then try what they did, or just bite the toy, hardly ever does he use his paws. Also just kinda funny but he seems to have a thing for green toys, he destroys any that I bring home

I have several high areas for him to get up on. I will definitely try the food trick. I didn't know that about eye contact, that's good to know, now I can stop staring at him hoping for a response.

I will watch the videos and try the suggestions.