Socializing a feral: The story of Lucky

[ldg]

Hissy has far more experience than I do, so I rely on her judgment. The one thing I would consider doing is feeding your kitty wet food several times a day. I would put the food down and move back, but stay in the room while she eats. That's how we came to be interactive with the outdoor ferals - they came to trust us because they associated us with the food.

I'm not sure what others think of that, but it worked for us!

Laurie

 

[ldg]

I would add that all people and all cats are different. Hissy has learned from experience, and wants to ensure that neither you nor the cat get hurt.

I would simply say, take all the advice, keep it in mind, and follow your heart. I would test the waters, and if it's too soon, I'd back off. But that's me.

You, hubby and Lucky will work it out!

 

[sandi]

Believe me, we need all the advice we can get with Lucky. It's just that she doesn't seem aggressive at all, but I know that could change depending on how fearful she is. I think for now (while she's on the meds) we're only going to give the wet food once a day - just to be sure she'll eat it all at one sitting. It's so important that she takes this medicine to rid her system of all those worms. After that, I will definitely give her wet food more and just wait for her to come out.

Okay, I have a question. As far as being in the room with her as much as possible - do I have to be talking the whole time? Like as far as when I go in to read, can I just go in and read silently? Or do I always have to read aloud? Whatever works. We always talk to her when we go in there and are still playing the classical music. It's funny as all our other animals have responded to music as well.

That's all for know - but once again, I'd like to extend my appreciation to all who've helped out with all the sound advice. I will never be able to repay you all. However, you can bet when it pays off - that will be your reward and you will all be responsible for her coming around. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

~Sandi

 

[valanhb]

I think you can just do something silently, too. There were days when I would just be in the bedroom with Trent (very tame) and Ophelia (not tame) and watched TV. Just getting her used to your presence should be good. From what you are saying she will come around, it will just take time and patience, which it sounds like you have plenty of.

So you decided to name her Lucky? I was wondering about that.

 

[sandi]

Yep, we decided on Lucky because that's what my hubby kept calling her when we'd enter that room. See, I had drilled it into his head (when she was still outside) to try to call her by name so she'd get used to her name. It has obviously stuck in my husband's brain, so hopefully Lucky will like it and come to know it as her name as well.

I'm just about to go spend some time with Lucky now. A gal from my husband's work sent home a present for Lucky. It's a mouse toy on the end of a elastic cord that you hang on a door. We're hanging it from a hook on the ceiling for now since we can't leave the door open. Also, she sent a bag of catnip. Well, I had put that on the kitchen counter temporarily and our other cat was pawing the bag and rubbing her face all over it - it was sooo funny. Haven't seen her that "frisky" in quite a long while. Naturally, we gave her some - there's plenty for them both. It was just very cute - had to share.

And, as far as patience goes...I have a hedgehog that's VERY shy and she's come such a long way from 2 years ago. Tonight while holding her I was filled with hope and faith that since I could wait for her to become friendly and trusting, Lucky should too, given time.

Ah...these sweet little animals...what would we do without them???

~Sandi

 

[ldg]

Sandi, I don't know! I don't know what we did before we had these two great guys - and all our outdoor pals.

I agree with Heidi. Just getting her used to your presence is good, too. Please don't worry. You exude tenderness and love, and Lucky will become one very happy kitty, no question in my mind about it!

All cats are different. But our kitties favorite toys are the small mice that have something inside that kind of rattle. They like them on elastic, they like them just plain on the floor so they can kick and toss them around. Sheldon's current favorite toy is an empty M&M plastic thing (you know, the teeny M&Ms that come in a plastic tube) that we tossed a couple of hard cat treats in so it makes noise when he moves it around.

Lucky may still be geared up for "survival mode" and might not want to play. On the other hand, playing may help draw her out of her shell.

I love so much that you're keeping us posted, thanks so much.

 

[sandi]

Gosh, I cannot believe this thread has lasted for so many pages. You guys are absolutely wonderful!!!

Okay, the latest is: The other night my husband went to bed in the bedroom Lucky is in. I rubbed his back and about 10 min. after I left, I guess he felt like something was on the bed with him. He thinks one of her nails got caught briefly on the quilt and then he moved around a little bit and cleared his throat lightly (just to get her used to noise, I guess) and she jumped up onto the window ledge (oh, oh...the blinds were closed) and then back onto the bed, then off the bed and he doesn't know what...he didn't want to look back at her to freak her out. He did get up and open the blinds, however. Oh, yes, this little girl is going to be totally spoiled once she comes around. (As if she isn't already).

We do see evidence of her playing with the toys we leave in there - and she loves to dump the empty wastebasket. I found a feather from the feather toy and I believe she is playing with the mouse on the elastic cord. She still doesn't come out while we're in there, but I'm keeping the faith. Some days it's easier for me than others - I just have to remember - she's not doing it because she doesn't like us, she's just unsure.

Other than that...no news to report. I still find her paw prints on the window glass (which I clean every night), so she does still want to get out. But, time will tell.

Again - THANK YOU - to all of you who are helping us with Lucky and her transition into our home!!! Hopefully, someday, I'll be able to help somebody in our same position from the knowledge I've gained from you all.

~Sandi

 

[sandi]

The hubby just got home from work and told me that Lucky was up on the bed several times last night. She mainly jumps up there to get to the window. Then, I guess at one point he said, "hello" and she freaked out and jumped off the bed. However, she did keep going up there after that happened. Guess she is still pretty leary of us.

We are trying to spend as much time in there as we can. Gosh, she's really only alone in there for about 7 hours a day. Maybe 8.

Could this mean that some human treated her that badly while she was out "on the streets"? That gets me so angry. How can people be so cruel? I realize there are some very bad folks out there, but c'mon...a poor little defenseless animal??? Give me a break!

We're just so anxious to give that little girl a wonderful life...we're giving her lots of love right now, but it would be nice to see her out and about a little. I know...give it time. We will.

~Sandi

 

[debby]

Sandi, I think you are doing a terrific job with her!!! It is hard to be patient, I know, because I'm not.

But she will come around soon...she just needs to get more used to your presence, and that you mean her no harm! I am so happy you came here, and have gotten such good advice! I knew you would love this place!!

And I hope you stick around even after you have her all tame!!!

 

[valanhb]

Sandi you guys are making a lot of progress! Don't think that she doesn't know that hubby is in there when she comes out - she knows full well who is in that room. This is where the reading out loud or just talking softly will help, so she doesn't freak out when you guys say hello.

It is possible that she had some bad experiences with people, but you will never know for sure. It could be that her mother cat taught her well to be weary.

Another thing to remember is that you two aren't the only new thing to her. Her whole world was shaken up, there is nothing familiar to her from her old way of life. It sounds like she is getting used to being in her room, and is taking an interest in her toys which is great! The only things that come and go from her new world are you two, so it will take a little more bravery to come out and really investigate you. The other things don't smell alive, and they don't move on their own, so it just take a little bit of being brave to check those things out. She has to get really brave to check you out.

Trust me, you will be so proud when she gets brave and comes over to one of you for the first time.

You'll feel like your child just took her first steps.

 

[debby]

Wow! That was very well said, Heidi!! I couldn't have said it better!!! She will get used to you, and the reward will be well worth the effort!!!!

 

[sandi]

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, Heidi. The thing I have to remember is...it's only been a week and a day - so I know it'll take more time than that. Guess I get a touch impatient from time to time as I really want to see her more often. We're spending more and more time in that room. I sometimes watch TV in there so she gets used to the noise.

My hubby put in a cat perch type thing - like a ledge for her to lay on inside the window. Tonight when I took our dog out I looked in the window (from a short distance) and guess who was looking out at me??? Lucky. I could just see her eyes - but waved at her anyhow. I do look under the bed at her periodically and let me tell you, I can tell she's growing a bit. I still think she's adorable!!!

Had to change the radio station from classical to something with words - so she got to hear my off-key voice while singing to her. I've sang to my other animals and it seemed to soothe them somewhat, so I figured I can't lose if I try it with Lucky, too.

Also, hubby said Lucky will meow now and then at night. She just started doing that a day or two ago. He just tells her it's okay and she stops. I think she's under the bed when she does this. I'm not sure if the Panacur that she's on to get rid of the worms is hard on her system or not, so I tend to worry about that. She doesn't seem to have to leave any fecal matter in her litterbox every day either. It's like she goes alot one day and then skips a day. I know she's still using the litterbox as there is urine (wet litter) in there. Could this be from the meds as well? I know the vet said the body will sometimes absorb the worms. We're keeping an eye on her bathroom habits.

That's all for tonight - I'll let you know when anything new happens.
~Sandi

 

[ldg]

Our vets use a different medication. They give one dose, and the cats are sick for a day. It is poison, after all, so even though this appears to be a low-dose way of addressing the same problem, I would guess she feels a little under the weather as well as being scared.

I would have thought that her fear lasting this long would be due to previous bad experiences with people, but Heidi pointed out it could be she learned it from another cat.

Heidi's so right! Just hang in there. It is SO not you. She's scared. It is what Hissy also constantly reminds us. "Time is your friend." Well - not when we're feeling impatient!

You guys are so terrific. And you ARE being so patient, after all! Look at it this way - when she finally comes out of her shell, it'll make it that much more special for you!
:tounge2:

 

[sandi]

Heidi wrote:

<Sandi you guys are making a lot of progress! Don't think that she doesn't know that hubby is in there when she comes out - she knows full well who is in that room.>

Is that really true? After you read the stuff below...did she really know I was in there on the bed? She should have, with the pages making so much noise, but she just looked so startled to see me. Maybe she was expecting the husband? Although, he said she looks at him and jumps off the bed, too.

Okay, tonight I'm sleeping in that room. However, I had some catalogs I wanted to look through, so after getting them all together, I went in there and put some treats out, then sat on the bed and started looking through catalogs. A little bit later, I heard her eating the treats (I didn't sit on the floor this time, just up on the bed). Next thing I know, she jumps up on the side of the bed. I look at her (briefly - I know I was supposed to ignore her, it's just a natural reaction to look when something appears out of nowhere), she looks at me and jumps back off the bed. She is SO CUTE!!! See, I had seen her earlier on the window ledge and perch because our screen room is situated where I can see the bedroom window, and since I had left the light on in the bedroom, I could see her from the enclosed porch. And, oh, has she been playing. The elastic from that hanging mouse is hanging by a thread. Hubby tied the pieces in a knot so she wouldn't try to eat the cord.

I haven't seen her in so long - I almost forgot how lovely that little face is. She still looks a little skinny, but I thought it looked like she was putting on a tiny bit of weight - hard to tell in the short flash I could see her up close. See, that's all I needed for now, just to see her. I don't know what I'll be in for tonight (this morning) when I try to sleep in there. The hubby said he couldn't sleep at all last night as she was up and down, up and down every ten minutes. Too funny!

Thanks for listening,
Sandi

 

[debra myers]

Sandi - it might not seem it to you, but you are making FANTSATIC progress with your new freind. One day at a time woman!

I NEVER thought I would see the day that my feral friend Goldie would even stay in the same room with me - now I share the corner of my bed!

 

[debby]

I think you are making progress, too!!! I am so happy for you! I know that soon she will be eating out of your hand!!!

Keep us posted!

 

[sandi]

I feel so silly posting after every little thing Lucky does, but it's a bit like being a new mom I suppose. And all the positive feedback helps us to understand we're doing what we should.

The latest:
I slept in the room with Lucky last night. Actually, I must've fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Then, for some unknown reason, I opened my eyes and here was Lucky on the windowsill looking outside (we now leave the blinds up for her - spoiled already???). Then, I moved around a little and she just looked at me. Okay, this is where it gets interesting. Then, she jumps down on the edge of the bed. We have a body pillow on the one side and I was laying on the otherside kind of hugging a regular sized pillow. Well, she cautiously walks up the side of the body pillow and was just standing, or sitting there.(I couldn't see over the regular pillow I was laying on). This is going to sound so stupid, but I at first was ecstatic - thinking maybe she'd smell my hand or something. Then, all of the sudden, my heart starts beating frantically and I just had to move my head up a bit to see what was going on. Then, she jumped down. However, after a minute, she jumped back up on the foot of the bed and just watched me. So, I kind of looked at the ceiling and just started talking to her - first in a whisper, then in a quiet regular voice. She kind of crouched down, but seemed to be listening as she never took her eyes off me. It's so difficult to watch a cat out of the corner of your eye, isn't it? I so badly wanted to look at her straight on, but know I shouldn't yet. She also has the cutest meow. It's kind of like a cooing that ends up turning into a meow. My husband thinks that she probably went right up and smelled my face and everything while I was sound asleep, but I doubt that at this moment. She is getting more bold though, as far as coming closer to check us out. I even moved my hand to scratch my head and she didn't jump off the bed, just watched me.

How come she seems to come out more at night when we're sleeping, vs. when we're in there during the day doing stuff? Also, when will she not feel threatened that we can look at her straight on?

I feel like she is coming along pretty quickly, but we're not going to count our chickens as she could revert back to being cautious until she's really sure of us. Not a problem. I'm just so happy she's finally coming around. I wish you could all be here to share this progress with us. It's fantastic. I can't imagine how we'll be when she finally comes up to us, bumps up to us and lets us pet her. We'll be total basket cases. I think she's on my schedule, though - a real night owl just like me.

Just keeping you all updated

~Sandi

 

[debby]

Wow! That is great! She is really getting used to having you around, and it is great that she is getting bolder and even jumping on the bed when you are on it!!! This is a really good sign!!

It won't be long now, I am sure!!!

 

[valanhb]

Sandi, you brought a big ol' smile to my face this morning! You are making fantastic progress with Lucky. Don't feel silly at all about posting about everything that happens. We love to hear about it!

She definitely knows not only that someone is in the room, but which one of you is there. Cats recognize each other and people by their smell, and obviously you and hubby smell a lot different.

Since she is jumping up on the bed when either of you are in there, she is definitely getting more and more comfortable with both of you.

Cats are also nocturnal by nature, and she knows instinctually that she is better hidden in the dark and that she can see you better than you can see her. Also, think about it from her perspective - which is less threatening, when you are sleeping and barely moving or when you are awake and moving around?

It won't be long now before she comes in for a real close look-see and sniff!

 

[sandi]

You gave me a smile, too, Heidi. Of course, I love hearing what we're doing right (and wrong). Tonight, I was in that room for several hours doing craft type things. No sign of Miss Lucky. However, when I was making my trips back and forth to collect all the stuff I took in there to do, she had been out and as soon as I opened the door, ran for cover under the bed. She didn't jump up on the bed at all while I was in there tonight. I think she likes hubby better than me

I understand that she feels safer when it's dark as she can see us better. That's what freaks me out, though. I'd much rather us connect while it's light. It sounds crazy, but when it's dark and she comes to sniff me, I get rather...skittish. I don't know why - if I'm afraid she's going to bite me or what. I think this is happening because I know she was wild and never tame.

My husband kind of tricked her last night (bad man). He had put treats out on the pillow (and he wonders why she's bouncing off the walls all night long). Anyhow...when she came up to get them, he thought her tail was near his hand so he just lightly started bouncing his 2 fingers on the pillow and I guess Lucky swatted him and jumped off the bed. I told him that probably set her back.

But, when I went in to rub his back, she had been out on the window ledge.

Lucky finished her last dose of Panacur today. Hopefully, it did it's job and killed all those worms she had. We'll know more next week when I take a stool sample in. I'll let you all know.

One question...why does she seem to meow all night long? She didn't do that the first few days we had her, but now it's happening every night for long periods of time. My husband actually leaves the room every morning around 3:30 - 4:00 because of this. What's going on with her? Will this continue or is she trying to communicate with us? Any info is much appreciated.

Thanks,
Sandi