So upset - nearly 18 year old hyperthyroid cat is suddenly on the decline

[katiekins]

Yesterday Katie ate a bit on her own twice (just a few bites of wet food) and that was about it. Administering fluids is going really well and I feel like a bit of a pro now! She's extremely tolerant of it, and usually purrs. A couple of days ago she even tried to bat the IV tube before going to sleep during it. She was also playing with the cap from the needle. I'm shocked she's handled it so well considering her cattitude with everything else.

Having said all that, she's showing other symptoms and isn't getting better overall. Her breathing is rapid (she's not in distress at this time), she's still very lethargic, not eating and isn't herself. It's nearly two weeks now and nothing has improved.

The vet is supposed to contact me soon for a follow up and we can discuss options then. I still feel like I'm in limbo not knowing if this is something she will recover from - or not.

 

[katiekins]

I videotaped Katie breathing and sent it to my vet with an update. She responded with this:

I’m so sorry but I’m going to be very honest with you.  In the beginning, I was very hopeful but with this amount of time and nowhere near the response to treatment I was expecting, I think the kindest thing you can do for your beloved Katie is choose to say goodbye very soon.  Her respiratory rate is much too fast and from the video, I can see that her breathing is quite laboured.  Laboured breathing is very stressful.  You are already giving her incredible palliative care and I don’t think there is much left to try that will make enough of a difference.  The rapid and more difficult breathing can certainly be from many causes as you have listed...pain, heart failure, fluid in her lungs or chest cavity, cancer, etc...no way to know for sure just by looking at her.  It doesn’t sound like she’s having a good quality of life any more and with the amount of time that has gone by since you started her new treatments, I’m not hopeful that she’ll make a reasonable recovery at this point.  If you choose euthanasia now, it will certainly not be “too soon”...people often tell me though that they regret “waiting too long”.  
 

I am absolutely devastated, but I think I've come to accept that saying goodbye is the most humane thing I can do for my sweet girl. Yes, she's still using the litter box and yes she can walk, but that does not equate to quality of life. She doesn't move except to go to the box (which I moved into the living room) and she no longer is my Katie, as far as her personality. She's vacant.

It's always hard to say goodbye, but in the past I have known that it was time. I don't really feel that as clearly this time, which is ripping my heart apart. But I don't want to let her suffer and wait until she's RIGHT at death's door so I can have less guilt. This is not about me. It's about her. It's incredibly painful to make this kind of decision, but I trust my vet. I know what I see and I see suffering and the vet sees it too. Katie is not even consoled by me petting her or talking to her. I'm watching her now and it's heartbreaking watching her breathe. I don't want to wait until she ends up in respiratory arrest or some other horrific event to end her suffering. That's not fair to her. I need to be kind, humane and let her go with love.

The vet will be calling me later to discuss the logistics. I know they give a sedative first, but I think I will need to drug her before the vet comes because of her anxiety. If she sees a stranger, she will run and hide. I do not want her last moments to be me retrieving her from behind the bed and scaring her. If I sedate her at least she'll be relaxed. I think that's the only way this will go peacefully. I am glad the vet specializes in end-of-life care because I know she does this a lot. She's been so amazingly supportive of me and my decisions with Katie. I couldn't ask for a more compassionate kitty doctor.

 

[Columbine]

I'm so sorry. It's such a heart wrenching decision to make. You have given Katie the best care possible. You are in my thoughts.

 

[jennyr]

I am sorry to hear this news, but from everything you say, I agree with you that it is time. If Katie is no lo0nger herself, but 'vacant' in your words and is just going the motions of living rather than living with any real quality, t hen it is fairer to her. I know it is incredibly difficult, but you are right. Many vibes that you have the strength to deal with it all in the coming days.

 

[katiekins]

Thanks so much. The vet is coming tomorrow afternoon. I've been instructed to give her 100mg of Gabapentin before she comes so Katie will be relaxed. It worked really well for the last vet visit. It's horrible to have a countdown, but I do know it was good to make the appointment for tomorrow. I was just holding Katie and her breathing is worsening and it sounds wet now. She is definitely not comfortable. 

I've given her pain meds and will do so again before bedtime. I'm going to sleep on the couch so I'm close to her - she won't sleep in my bed anymore. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Unfortunately, my family has a vacation booked and they are leaving on Saturday. I was going to stay with my parents the weekend it happened so I didn't have to be here alone, but I guess that's not possible. I'll see friends or other family instead, I guess. My niece wants to see me, so that may be some good medicine.

 

[2bcat]

Oh I'm so sorry.  It's hard to find the right time, but I agree with a breathing issue being among the more difficult ones if nothing is helping it.  It's going to make her continue to not eat, even if other things are going well.  Some cats do well with syringe feeding or even feeding tubes for extended periods, but still I think usually you want to see this with a goal of getting the other condition stable, a temporary measure.  The cat is not capable of understanding (as far as we know) that the unpleasant things now are to help her feel better in the near future.

It's very hard to think of letting her go when she feels good with the fluid and thus seemingly enjoying that little interaction with you.  But we had another cat some time ago that we let go, her interaction with us was still there but she was having trouble eating and some kind of ongoing GI trouble and possibly cancer.  And kidney disease.  Her last several months may have been different if I knew then what I know now, but given her condition at the time, I don't think it was too soon.  I have to reassure myself of it though, because that is my one and only experience, and it's still a little unnerving making that decision knowing the cat still recognizes you.

My thoughts are with you as you deal with this difficult choice.  It's hard and you will probably always think back on it, or at least I know I think back on mine.  But I think we could say, even if we don't ever know if it's the right time, it doesn't sound like it's the wrong time....

 

[katiekins]

Katie is gone. Her breathing got progressively worse to the point that she was becoming increasingly distressed. I called the vet to come tonight and thank God I did. I gave Katie the sedative and the vet came over. It was so peaceful and Katie was very relaxed. I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful goodbye.

I'm completely devastated and heartbroken, but I know I made the right choice. Dying with dignity is what I promised her and that's exactly what she got. 

Goodbye my sweet, sweet girl. I will miss you terribly and love you forever. You are now pain-free. I will see you again someday.

 

[grogs]

So sorry to hear about your baby. I've been following Katie's progress and rooting for her. It sounds like you did an amazing job caring for her these last few days. I'm just glad you were able to get the vet out so that she could pass peacefully in the place she loved most. I had to do the same thing with my Tiny just last week, and it made it a lot easier on both of us. Farewell, dear friend.

 

[sashafrass]

I just read through this thread now.. and I'm so sorry to hear about your Katie.  I just lost my cat Scratch at the end of January.  She had CKD, and also a mass on her heart - which caused the same breathing problems in the end that your Katie had.  I went through all the exact same thoughts as you did - I didn't ever feel like I knew it was her time to go, like I did with my other cats.. and I think it was because I loved her more than anything.  She was my soulmate, and I was not ready to lose her.  She went through some very bad times with me, I credit her with saving my life.  I couldn't imagine my life without her.  Her decline was also quick, and it happened in the same way - lethargy, not eating - then she'd bounce back for a few weeks, but the last downturn had her also breathing hard from her flanks.  Her mouth had turned blue - and when I saw that I knew I couldn't hang on to her.  I also promised her she would never suffer, and I don't believe she did.  I understand completely how heartbreaking this is.  I'm still not ok - I miss her terribly.  I hope you have some good friends for support - but know that there are many people here that understand everything you are going through.  Our cat's lives with us make this all worth it somehow, but I know at this moment you can't imagine anything worse.  

 

[ariinya]

I'm so sorry, Katiekins.... I was reading through this post and just hoping and praying it would have a happy ending for you and your baby.

I know how hard it is to let a kitty go.  But you made the right decision.  What sort of life would they have if they're always in pain?  I was forced to make that decision as well with my first two cats.  My parents didn't allow me to stay with them, though.

Remember the good times that you had with her, and try not to focus on the ending.

I'll keep both of you in my prayers.

 

[jennyr]

I am so glad you were able to give Katie what she deserved at the end. But I know how you must feel, there is nothing so awful as taking that decision, even when you know it is right. Out of respect for Katie and in accordance with TCS policy, I will now close this thread, and I offer sincere condolences from the Moderator team. I hope that when you feel able (and sometimes it takes weeks or even months), you will open a tribute thread for her in the 'Crossing the Bridge' forum. RIP Katie.