So Many Factors In This Cat's Complicated Behavior.. Help!!

[Desmith0927]

This is going to be long and I apologize in advance but I feel I'll be helped best if I provide the most information possible. My room mate works for a property management company. In April, he was at an apartment that had recently been evicted only to discover that the tenants left behind a female cat. She was very friendly and had been alone in the apartment for at least 10 days. I'm a cat person, through and through and since he knew this, he called and asked if I'd like him to bring her home. This was after a neighbor informed him that she had personally took the previous tenants to have her spayed. Also it's worth mentioning that we do have a very friendly, docile, cat loving, big baby, pit bull.
He brought her home and right away she was very attached to me. Rubbing all over me. We allowed her to explore the house and tried to slowly introduce her to the dog. Although she warmed up to us very quickly, she did not and will not warm up to him. And he is terrified of her. She knows by now that he will not bother her or even come near her. He hides his face whenever she comes around and all but breaks his neck to avoid looking at her. That's the smallest issue for now though.
About two weeks after having her, and her not being out of our house at any point, I noticed that she was very clearly displaying signs of being pregnant. She was a very small, dainty cat who's belly was suddenly swollen and nipples were poking out. So the neighbor obviously misled us and when he got her, she was already pregnant, just not obviously yet (for those of you who might feel the need to preach about spaying, I already have an appointment scheduled for her, as I'm totally against bringing kittens into this world unless you're a breeder of purebreds) Every once in awhile, when she was obviously begging for attention and we'd pet her, she'd suddenly bite but then go right back to wanting to be petted. Also, she would sometimes just randomly run at and quickly attack the dog when he was clearly already cowering in fear of her very presence. I kind of thought it must just be a hormonal/maternal thing and at least tried to work on what I thought was petting aggression or "love bites" that she didn't understand were hurting because of some learned behavior, by positive reinforcement with treats or walking away when she'd bite.
So, she goes into labor and very clearly wanted me right by her side. I could not leave her or even get up to walk without her coming out of her birthing box and following me meowing at me. All goes well. She has 4 kittens. She's got her very own bedroom to have them in with everything in there that she needs and the door opened so that she doesn't feel trapped. I kind of gave her space for maybe a little bit too long because once I started visiting more for short periods of time, if she thought I was walking away from her she'd bite the top of my foot VERY hard then continue circling around and rubbing my legs. So I figured I needed to be giving her more attention and play with her more, which I started doing. But now it's to the point that whenever she's around she starts circling and rubbing my legs and I have to stand completely still and because if I take a step, she bites the top of my feet. If I sit down and pet her she's very nice and friendly but when I get up I have to distract her with treats or she'll bite my feet and block me.
This morning has been especially trying. She was acting that way this morning so I've been in my room and she keeps coming in and meowing at me and if I get up she runs after me and bites my feet and will only get distracted when I give her treats. I'm starting to fear her and I hate that so much. She lets me near the kittens and trusts me with them and all of that but I don't get it? She acts like she starved for attention but then gets aggressive and like has a stand off with me. She even jumped on my bed with the dog next to me today to get petted then got down but if she's anywhere and hears his bell, she crouches down and waits for him to walk by to attack him which he does in total fear and only with a ton of coaxing from me and his daddy. And this is a dog that loves kitties but he's afraid of her. I mean it's getting to the point where I'm considering finding her another home and keeping one of her kittens because I can at least train one of them and they'll be more likely to get along with the dog. I mean the poor guy is terrified and does not big her at all. I mean literally hides his face in the nearest chair or human when she comes around. This is his house. And he's so scared. I love her and she can be the sweetest thing ever but she's always reining terror on him no matter what and I don't know if the aggression is because she feels couped up with the kitties and I'm not with her enough or what but I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of her sometimes. She doesn't do the biting or blocking thing to my room mate but he's not the one that has a bond with her. She lets him pet her and will sit on his lap but could care less when he walks away. I just don't know what to do and she's been this worst today. It's like a bi-polar switch where she's begging for attention and I played with her, I gave her treats, I pet her, I'm talking to her, I'm not closing myself or her in anywhere but I'm afraid to get up and walk and I've been sitting on this bed for hours now. My room mate just came home and sat on a chair across from me, she jumped up on his lap, let him let her, then got down. But she keeps meowing and just demanding attention but if I get up to give it to her I'm stuck because if I try to walk away I get attacked or blocked. Obviously this is way past being a maternal thing. Also, I'm pretty certain she's no older than 2. I don't know if that helps. At first I thought maybe she was calling to her kittens to come in here because they are running around now but it seems to be completely directed at me. Help please!!!

 

[walli]

Have you had her spayed yet? that might help
Hopefully someone will come along with more experience, this can be fixed.
might want to check out Jackson Galaxy's books
I'm reading one right now called: Total Cat Mojo
He has other books and some resources online, she might need more play time.
but getting her spayed should be the first thing and I think it takes awhile for the hormones to calm down.

 

[ArtNJ]

My cat will do that butting/biting thing if she is really hungry. I let it work, because she only does it when she is really and truly hungry, but by letting it work, I know that she will keep doing it. In your case, its for attention for sure. And it seems that it works on you, and that is part of the problem. To cure the behavior, a loud "No!" should help, but most importantly, don't let it work. She does that, you need to gently push her away and leave the room. Distraction isn't going to cut it, because distracting with toys or treats reinforces the behavior. One poster here recommends dropping something like a jar of quarters or flinging the keys down, which sounds fine but i think its the same idea as a loud "No!" -- either way, its a startling noise that they can learn the meaning of, coupled with walking away and not engaging.

I'll let others address the dog issue; I've never owned one.

 

[Desmith0927]

My cat will do that butting/biting thing if she is really hungry. I let it work, because she only does it when she is really and truly hungry, but by letting it work, I know that she will keep doing it. In your case, its for attention for sure. And it seems that it works on you, and that is part of the problem. To cure the behavior, a loud "No!" should help, but most importantly, don't let it work. She does that, you need to gently push her away and leave the room. Distraction isn't going to cut it, because distracting with toys or treats reinforces the behavior. One poster here recommends dropping something like a jar of quarters or flinging the keys down, which sounds fine but i think its the same idea as a loud "No!" -- either way, its a startling noise that they can learn the meaning of, coupled with walking away and not engaging.

I'll let others address the dog issue; I've never owned one.

That's what I said to my room mate, that I'm rewarding bad behavior and I can't do that. I haven't done it much just in a desperate attempt this morning. I always tell either ouch or no and she let's go but today she'll start weaving in and out of my legs so that I can't take a step at all then that's when I put treats down so I could get away. Since then I had to take a broom and put it between us to keep her back and that made me feel like the worst human being ever. I might have to give the keys thing a try though since that might actually startle her to move away from me. Thank you

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Thanks for taking in this poor kitty. Though I've heard of it many times, I still can't believe people simply leave their "beloved" pet in an empty apartment when they move out.

I'm thinking her behaviour could be hormonal. How old are the kittens now?

 

[Desmith0927]

Oh my god!!!! I know! She really is just so sweet and absolutely beautiful. I couldn't believe someone could ever do that to her or any animal for that matter. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have pets.
The kittens are 4 1/2 weeks old now. They are all healthy. Running around and playing. Just now getting very curious. Yesterday any time I was around her and saw her staring at my feet I'd yell no really loud and move slowly until I got to where I wanted to be and she'd back off and then I'd sit down and and call her over. It seemed to work pretty well and I also made sure to show her more attention.

 

[Furballsmom]

You're making great progress!!
The other thing, to help both with you and your pittie, is to HISS when you see bad behavior starting up, basically like her own mama would do, as the No might confuse the dog now and then...?
You're not being mean or anything like that, you're setting healthy boundaries.
1 bruce 1 do you have thoughts regarding how to help the pittie regain some confidence?

 

[FlawlessImperfection]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think you may be right about some of this being hormonal, and I really hope that spaying will help, her hormones are probably crazy right now! Our cat loves, hates, and is indifferent to our poor dog- he never knows what he’s going to get with her. I think part of what’s so scary to dogs, is that cats body language is so alien and confusing to them. They try to show the cat how much they love them- and just don’t understand why a long loving stare gets them smacked, lol! I realized our dog was also afraid to get in trouble with ME for retaliating, so I let him know it’s okay to bark at her if she REALLY gives him a reason. I think he was feeling so scared because he was getting beat up for no reason (and often there IS no reason, she just wants to kill something ), and he felt insecure because he couldn’t fight back. Now, when she smacks him for breathing, she gets a NO and he just shakes it off- and in true dog fashion forgives loves her a half second later. As for the biting, you are definitely rewarding her by going treats or staying to comfort her, but it’s okay, you can fix it!
Try a simple fix, buy a clean pairs of sneakers to wear indoors, like bite proof slippers. That way, you don’t have be afraid of the biting, you’re armor plated! A loud NO, and no treats- and IGNORE her after any biting and she will get the idea. She will quickly realize that her bad behavior makes Mum leave, and it should stop pretty quickly since your attention is so important to her. Let the shoes take the teeth, she will learn, the dog will forgive, and you’ll be safe in your new sneaks!
Let us know how it goes, pulling for you!!

 

[Furballsmom]

That's a good point about the sneakers, more confidence in your part is a good thing as well.

 

[Desmith0927]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think you may be right about some of this being hormonal, and I really hope that spaying will help, her hormones are probably crazy right now! Our cat loves, hates, and is indifferent to our poor dog- he never knows what he’s going to get with her. I think part of what’s so scary to dogs, is that cats body language is so alien and confusing to them. They try to show the cat how much they love them- and just don’t understand why a long loving stare gets them smacked, lol! I realized our dog was also afraid to get in trouble with ME for retaliating, so I let him know it’s okay to bark at her if she REALLY gives him a reason. I think he was feeling so scared because he was getting beat up for no reason (and often there IS no reason, she just wants to kill something ), and he felt insecure because he couldn’t fight back. Now, when she smacks him for breathing, she gets a NO and he just shakes it off- and in true dog fashion forgives loves her a half second later. As for the biting, you are definitely rewarding her by going treats or staying to comfort her, but it’s okay, you can fix it!
Try a simple fix, buy a clean pairs of sneakers to wear indoors, like bite proof slippers. That way, you don’t have be afraid of the biting, you’re armor plated! A loud NO, and no treats- and IGNORE her after any biting and she will get the idea. She will quickly realize that her bad behavior makes Mum leave, and it should stop pretty quickly since your attention is so important to her. Let the shoes take the teeth, she will learn, the dog will forgive, and you’ll be safe in your new sneaks!
Let us know how it goes, pulling for you!!

Two days ago when she was really really bad I put on thick socks to go back to being around her and it's like she realized it and was thinking, "What the heck?!" She'd bite and realized her teeth were in fabric and pull away really slowly pulling the sock with her until her teeth came out then she'd look up at me and kind of tilt her head (yes, she does that like a dog almost) and then meow at me. After I wrote that I think she only managed to do it twice that day when I had socks on and hasn't since. And like I mentioned, if I see her looking at my feet I yell no until I can sit down and then call her over. After that as long as there's no biting, I give her treats.
As for the dog, I feel so bad for him. Now, the past few days she actually hasn't run at him, so that's good. People come over and see him hide his face or turn his head to avoid looking at her and they think it's so funny but it isn't. I feel like he's so sad because he has always loved cat's and now he's scared all of the time. She has come very close to him the past few days and sniffed him then just walks away. He just freezes when she does and let's her do her thing until she walks away. At first, we thought she'd be his friend and he'd love it but it's turned out quite the opposite. I do realize that I can't make them be friends and she'll probably just always be indifferent. Even when the kittens come around he gets on the bed or a chair and just watches them which is really sad because I know he would love to play with them but he's terrified. Oh, and they have no fear of him. They just act like he isn't there. They get very close and I've had no issues with hissing or anything. We are considering keeping one and if it gets along with him maybe that'll change mom's opinion. Hopefully all works out. I don't want to have to find a new home for mom under any circumstances. Thank you all so much for the advice. Things seem to be getting a little better

 

[1 bruce 1]

So this started in April, and it's only July 1st...so in 3 months time or slightly more, her family ditched out on her, she was left alone to fend for herself, she was moved to a new home, and had kittens. That's a lot on her in a very short period of time!
Especially if this is her first litter, she may be young, anxious, and not sure what she's supposed to be doing and hasn't learned what's OK and what's not OK. Sometimes they're really jittery and nervous with their first litter.
Even though you've had her for 3 months, she's probably still sussing things out and (my uneducated guess) is that, now that there are babies to fend for, she might be putting on that front of super cat and no one had better mess with her babies, etc. =)
As far as the dog goes, I would stop trying to get them to be friends right now, until the kittens are long weaned and in their new homes. The stress of abandonment, a new home, as well as kittens of her own is more than she needs and since you're not sure of her history with dogs (she might have been harassed, bullied, chased, cornered, etc., or has just never seen one), I'd let her concentrate on her babies, and bonding with you, and have her "safe zones" in the house so she can relax and start to feel secure and realize no one is going to hurt her or her kittens.
I'm sure you have an excellent bond with her. But when you feel that bond is so solid and tight (it may take a few more months!), she will realize you will protect her. Then, the Pittie can be brought into the picture. (He sounds like a great dog, poor guy probably doesn't understand why he can't charm this cat!)
This isn't set in stone, it's just what I would try first if I were in your shoes!

 

[maggiedemi]

Hi. When is her spay appointment? It sounds like hormones or she is in heat again.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Hi. When is her spay appointment? It sounds like hormones or she is in heat again.

Agreed. I would think the hormones from raising babies in a new place with a potential predator (a dog that sounds like a complete mush that wouldn't hurt a fly) probably has her hair on end, figuratively speaking, all the time.
Hopefully Desmith0927 can give us an update, and hopefully in a few months the dog and cat will be best buds =) The fact the dog isn't barking, trying to play, or obsessed with her makes me think this story could have a very, very good ending. When a cat say "NO" and a dog says "LOL, WHY" and continues to worry the cat constantly, sometimes things don't always work out as well. Since the dog doesn't want any trouble at all and actually hides his face when the cat is nearby makes me think the cat, once she comes around, will probably accept him and take a liking to him.