Slight vent here - I really don't understand people!

[KittenKrazy]

Ok, first off, I know that there are several of you here who have children, small ones, older ones and in between ones. I also know that you have cats around those children. I will make the assumption that having both, especially small (year old approximately) that you start teaching them early on to respect the kitty, how to/not to hold it and such - I know my mom did (remember, please, that I don't have any kids myself). As cat people and mothers, if your child mishandled one of your cats, and the cat scratched him/her? My thought would be to treat the scratch (watch for infection) and use this as a lesson on how not to treat kitty. Sooooo.....to my vent from here.


Mind you, last night when this happened, I ran the full gamut of human emotions in about ten minutes or so....from VERY angry, to sad, to just unhappy, to pleased, and finally to "ok, this might be good". Several years ago, we gave my SIL and her family two of our Himalayan kittens, one was a seal point, and one was a Flame. We stopped breeding in 2001, so both are around ten years old. I found out last night that in the past six months they took my flame baby to the pound because he had developed crystals and they didn't have the money to treat him (although I got perturbed, the upside is that they know the folks who adopted him and he's in a good home, probably better than the one he left). But last night, my SIL called, and because at some point her granddaughter who just turned one, and is allowed to do just about whatever she wants was scratched by the cat (probably in self-defense IMO) she wants to know do we want him back or should she take HIM to the pound too?

To say the least, when Charlie told me what she wanted after he got off the phone, I went totally ballistic about it! I cannot believe that someone would get rid of a cat just because it scratched a small child. As I calmed down though, I got to thinking that he'd be better off back home with me anyway, he's got room to run, and wouldn't have to hide like he has ever since the baby has gotten mobile- she hunts him up. I was preparing to integrate Samcat into my household when Charlie closes the bakery, but looks like I'm gonna have to put on my "introduction pants" a lot sooner than I intended

In a lot of ways, I'm still very angry about the situation, I guess partially because I feel that once you make a commitment to an animal like this, you should honor it, unless circumstances beyond your control force you to.......but to me, this is not one of those things, y'know? Now, if the cat had a reputation for being crabby, surly, ill-tempered, etc, I could see it a little better, but he's a sweet, gentle giant who just hates to be harassed by small hands that haven't been taught to leave him alone.

Ah well, vent over.....and on the plus side, I get a Himmy back in my life!

 

[strange_wings]

I don't have kids, but I was brought up the same way you were. Respect the cat or deal with the consequences. I always got scratches from playing with cats (and from playing outside), I even had a cat scratch my eye - she was standing on my pillow beside my head, stretched, and her back paw slipped. ..thankfully my parents did take me to the doctor for that.

But it was always "clean it up and deal with it" for everything.

My dad, his wife, and the step sister are all the same way. When one of her kids get scratched or hurt from something like that it's a "well you shouldn't have been doing something stupid".

Kids need to go through that, I think. Toughens them up.


I hope introductions go well and that he's happier.. I couldn't imagine giving up a cat that I'd had for 10 years just because of something so silly. Children get hurt, they heal, they learn.

 

[otto]

My heart broke over the SICK kitty being dumped at the vet. How could anyone do such a thing? Possibly the baby is what brought on the stress which caused the crystals, or perhaps they "disciplined" the cat to stay away from the baby too many times, and that made him sick.

I hope they are telling the truth about him being adopted right away.

I'm so glad the other one is coming to you, at least. If this is their attitude it's just as well they not have any pets. Fortunately the baby is young enough not to remember this episode, so will not grow up thinking pets are disposable objects.

All of us kids came after the cats, in my family. My mother is the Cat Lady, and we were all raised with cats. I know lots of people raising their young children and infants with cats.

People are just ....awful.

 

[Winchester]

I'm glad that you're going to bringing the little guy back into your house. Scratches happen when children are involved.

Our grandchildren are 4 and 2 years old. They're really good around our cats. I'm amazed at how well they pet our cats and how our little grandaughter coos at them. The cats aren't afraid of the grandchildren at all, unless they get too rambunctious, then the cats will stay in the bedroom until things calm down a bit. But then, they'll come back out.

It's sad that they took the other kitty to the pound, simply because it had crystals. But at least it now has a loving home.

Good for you for bringing him back.

 

[crazyforinfo]

I think it depends on the type of scratch and how it happened. If the cat was violent then I would consider rehoming the cat. If the cat smacked back and walked away that's different. My son is 9months and I started teaching him long ago how to pet a cat and not to pull tails.

 

[krazy kat2]

My granddaughter was introduced to the cats the day she was brought home from the hospital. She respects them and loves them, but has gotten scratched a few times from being overly loving. She deals with it well and does not think kitty is being mean. She is teaching her little friends how to be nice to the cats so my daughter has well adjusted cats and the baby's friends are learning a valuable lesson. They all play nicely with her cat, and it loves being the center of attention, even down to allowing 4 years old to put dresses and hats on her. There are always plenty of treats available for such a sweet cat.
It took so little to teach the kids to be nice to pets, I really don't understand why parents refuse to do it, and always blame the animal.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

Why did you give away the cats in the first place. I agree that when you take a pet, it should be a commitment for life. We had cats inside and when we found out my husbands health problems were caused by cat allergies, even then we didn't give them away. We built a fenced in area and attached a cat fence in system to protect them in the yard. Get the cat back and keep it. He doesn't need to be with someone who will take him to the pound for scratching a kid who is allowed to do anything. I have a real problem with the fact that people try to be friends with their children, not parents.

 

[gemlady]

Okay, Cindy. I've grabbed my hammer and will join you in the smash fest...

Also no kids of my own, but raised with cats and spent time teaching niece and nephew (and other young'uns) how to treat cats. Many the time I heard "kitty scratched me" and I would ask "what did you do to kitty?" only to find out kitty was on the defensive. Niece and nephew are now grown and married with children and have cats and kids who know how to treat them.

Introduction on their way!

 

[kailie]

I am a FIRM believer that if you adopt a cat, then you adopt it for LIFE and only under extreme circumstances where it would benefit the CAT should it be rehomed. People who think of cats as disposible objects don't deserve to have them in their lives to begin with. I wish you the best of luck with the reintroductions hun.

I don't have kids and never will, never had the desire. Luckily my boyfriend and I are on the same wave length when it comes to that. My cats are my kids and always will be.

 

[myrage]

My Mystyc lives with my bro and his fiance and their 2 year old daughter. She's been scratched a few times by Mystyc. They both knew when they took Tyk(one of her nicnames) that she has an attitude, and has no problems scratching or biting if you touch her how she doesn't want to be touched. Even her with an attitude (strangly enough she likes and is more patient with small kids

) who has scratched my niece has never been in danger of being rehomed or dumped off somewhere. She's never scratched her bad though, just minor ones. My niece KNOWS to respect cats (she has been taught from her parents and everyone else) because Mystyc has told her to!! Mystyc has been a part of my nieces life since she was 3 months old.

I don't understand parents that let their children get away with everything. I don't understand humans who have pets NOT teaching their young ones to respect and love them. I don't understand people dumping a cat because it has a health issue, would they do the same to their child? I don't understand.

I'm glad you are getting one of the kitties back and that cat will be much better off in the end anyway!! My mom had a siamese before I was born, and Samantha (the cat) helped raise me. She brought me dead mice, birds, spiders, etc to eat, etc, I too was raised to love and respect everything. People these days!!

Well, I wish you the best, and I fully understand where you are coming from. Glad you are getting one of them back

cats, dogs, ferrets, any animal is not desposable... they have feelings too and hurt for humans they loved that they aren't with anymore.

Be safe.

 

[sandy2u1]

I don't understand how people can be so foolish. All kids should be taught how to treat all animals, but especially pets. You know though that, even when you teach your kids how to be good to them, there are still going to be times when a kid is going to do things to get scratched by a cat (even if they aren't doing anything intentionally). It's just a part of life. Kids shouldn't grow up so wimpy that they can't even stand a scratch. I have 3 kids...oldest 13, the 6 and 5. My little ones have been scratched by Max before. Sometimes when the are playing with him and his string on a stick they get it to close to them and they get scratched, sometimes they pet him a little to hard and sometimes he hides under the coffee table and reaches out and swats them when they run by (both kids and cat think this is a fun game). My kids don't even cry about it, because even they know that part of having a cat is getting a scratch every now and then. I would NEVER send my poor Max to the pound over something so ridiculous. I think it's weird that they after such a long time they want to get rid of both cats with in a 6 month period. Do you think it may be just an excuse to get rid of them?

 

[bellaandme]

I think that after a certain age a child can have a cat. Toddlers or younger are just too young to understand that a cat is not a toy. Your story brings to mind something that I found out about right before Christmas. My BF's brother got his two little girls(3 and 4) a kitten. The cat scratched one of them on the face and their father took the kitten and dumped it in a strange, bad neighborhood!!!!! Now in Indiana the temp at Christmas is usually brutal. When my BF told me about this I WENT OFF. We jumped in the car and went looking for this kitten, but no luck. I still cry over that kitten. And as for his brother--he knows that if I ever see him...I'm not a violent person, but I will fight over the life of a cat. This is such a disposal society. We get tired of it--throw it away. I understand your anger! Taking on a cat IS a life long commitment. I have no children--a choice I made long ago. I would rather have cats. I had my first cat when I was 7 and the worst thing I ever did to her was try to dress her up like a cheerleader

 

[kscatlady]

Originally Posted by Bellaandme

My BF's brother got his two little girls(3 and 4) a kitten. The cat scratched one of them on the face and their father took the kitten and dumped it in a strange, bad neighborhood!!!!! Now in Indiana the temp at Christmas is usually brutal. When my BF told me about this I WENT OFF. We jumped in the car and went looking for this kitten, but no luck. I still cry over that kitten.

That's soo terrible! Makes me so sad!

I don't have kids yet, but I'm due in September. I would never get rid of either of my kitties. I'm a little worried about Abbey accidentally scratching the baby when it's tiny, she does it to me all the time, but even if she did she would still have a home with us where she belongs.

My BIL and exSIL don't teach my nephew to respect animals, so i do my best when he's over here and tell him that kitties are like him, and they can hurt too. He's not even a year old, but he started petting them better and not as forcefully as he was before.

 

[ruthyb]

I have 3 children aged 8,4 and 2, I have brought my children up not to bother the cats and they haven't that badly and if on occasions that they have and a cat has scratched them then that has been their own fault as they have been told, cats like humans will only take so much before they defend themselves. I would never ever get rid of my cats for anything that I thought could have been avoided. Just the same as when people antagonise dogs, get bitten and they cry and the poor animal gets destroyed, thats my opinion. x

 

[mbjerkness]

I have 3 kids, never had them hurt a cat or dog. If you teach them when they are babies, you won't have a problem. When my daughter was only a few months old. I took her hand and petted the cats and dogs. She was a year old she sat and held a one day old lab puppy. She stroked it gently with one finger then kissed him. My neighbour is thinking of getting her 12 year old dog put to sleep. It bit her 2 year old. I told her "If I was dog I'd bit him too. He is a terror. They older kids laugh when he pulls the dogs tail and runs away. What do you expect." She hasn't talked to me since last monday. The dog is still there so maybe she heard me. It is the same as anything else. You have to take the time to teach them.

 

[KittenKrazy]

Originally Posted by otto

My heart broke over the SICK kitty being dumped at the vet. How could anyone do such a thing? Possibly the baby is what brought on the stress which caused the crystals, or perhaps they "disciplined" the cat to stay away from the baby too many times, and that made him sick.

I hope they are telling the truth about him being adopted right away.

They actually took him to the pound instead of leaving him at the vet...even worse. His brother from another litter had the same issues, and was under no stress, so we think is just inherited health issue. I think she is, it would be way too easy to check her out.

Originally Posted by blueeyedgirl5046

Why did you give away the cats in the first place.

I'm a retired Himalayan breeder, haven't bred cats in at least 8 years now, but my SIL and neice loved my cats, so they were just gifts from me to them. me=sucker, sigh.

Thanks for the replies guys, I'm less angry now than earlier....as long as I don't think about it a lot. I guess the worst fear of any breeder is that one of the kits they raised ends up in a bad home......at least this way I know he's going to be well cared for during the rest of his life.......Went and picked up the Feliway today and plugged it in, as far as I know, we'll go Sunday to pick him up. Thanks
!!!!

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by KittenKrazy

They actually took him to the pound instead of leaving him at the vet...even worse. His brother from another litter had the same issues, and was under no stress, so we think is just inherited health issue. I think she is, it would be way too easy to check her out.


!!!!

I did realize that, just typed it wrong.

It makes me sick, either way. I just can. not. imagine dumping a senior cat like that. ANY cat, really, but especially a senior.

I hate people.

 

[kittyl0ve4]

I absolutely HATE people who get animals, and then get rid of them when they do something the person doesn't like. I am very, very passionate about keeping animals until they cross the Bridge. It just isn't fair to the pet, they don't understand why the person they love is getting rid of them. They don't know what they did wrong, and IMO it traumatizes them in a way. I always had to get rid of my pets growing up. My mom loves animals, and she dealt with years of litterbox issues before she gave up her cat. But she always made me get rid of my pets, and I still cry over those pets whenever I think about them. It kills me, and it makes me SOOO mad

Because of that, I promised myself that when I got my own pets, I would NEVER give them away. IF I ever did abolutely have no choice (i.e. not able to afford them anymore, so they would be properly cared for) AND ONLY if I could get them back when I was able to. They are my children, and I could never, ever part with them.

Monster is ok with kids, he's grown up around my nephew. But, my nephew is a terror, and has hit Monster before and even kicked him too! His mother doesn't teach him how to treat animals. When he hits my baby in front of me I always nicely tell him that he can't do that to the kitties because they will be mean to him back. (Don't think I don't yell at him though, and it pisses me OFF so much!!!!).. Monster is easily agitated, so whenever kids come into the house and go for the cats, I always tell them to be gentle, and I watch them. More than once while I wasn't here my nephew was scratched by one of the cats, and I know it was his fault, and he knows to be nice & to leave Mittens alone. He just does it anyway, espcecially when no one is looking. When I see that Monster is getting annoyed, I tell the kids that Monster has had enough petting and to leave him alone. I make sure to always tell them that Mittens is mean so stay away from her. Mittens is not good with kids. Mainly because my nephew terrorizes her. I always tell him to be nice to them, and I let kids give them treats. I try to teach my nephew to be nice to animals. When I have my own kids, they will be taught from the start that animals are part of the family too, and they will know how to be nice to animals. If a child gets scratched, I usually believe it was the kids fault. I believe most cats don't scratch unless they are provoked in some way. They are just defending themselves the way nature intended them to.

I'm sorry about the other cat, but I'm glad to know he has a good home now.. It's really great you're getting the other one back.

 

[yayi]

My policy is never give animals to others unless they ask for them and then I make sure they know what they are getting into. It's silly some of the reasons people get pets - to show off, to please the kids, to avoid offending the giver. But it's never about the animal and what it needs to be happy and healthy. It is sad that they are still considered as things to be owned and used.
We should teach our children that animals are not only to be treated gently and respected but seen as our brothers and sisters.

 

[shanynne]

Originally Posted by KittenKrazy

Ok, first off, I know that there are several of you here who have children, small ones, older ones and in between ones. I also know that you have cats around those children. I will make the assumption that having both, especially small (year old approximately) that you start teaching them early on to respect the kitty, how to/not to hold it and such - I know my mom did (remember, please, that I don't have any kids myself). As cat people and mothers, if your child mishandled one of your cats, and the cat scratched him/her? My thought would be to treat the scratch (watch for infection) and use this as a lesson on how not to treat kitty. Sooooo.....to my vent from here.


Mind you, last night when this happened, I ran the full gamut of human emotions in about ten minutes or so....from VERY angry, to sad, to just unhappy, to pleased, and finally to "ok, this might be good". Several years ago, we gave my SIL and her family two of our Himalayan kittens, one was a seal point, and one was a Flame. We stopped breeding in 2001, so both are around ten years old. I found out last night that in the past six months they took my flame baby to the pound because he had developed crystals and they didn't have the money to treat him (although I got perturbed, the upside is that they know the folks who adopted him and he's in a good home, probably better than the one he left). But last night, my SIL called, and because at some point her granddaughter who just turned one, and is allowed to do just about whatever she wants was scratched by the cat (probably in self-defense IMO) she wants to know do we want him back or should she take HIM to the pound too?

To say the least, when Charlie told me what she wanted after he got off the phone, I went totally ballistic about it! I cannot believe that someone would get rid of a cat just because it scratched a small child. As I calmed down though, I got to thinking that he'd be better off back home with me anyway, he's got room to run, and wouldn't have to hide like he has ever since the baby has gotten mobile- she hunts him up. I was preparing to integrate Samcat into my household when Charlie closes the bakery, but looks like I'm gonna have to put on my "introduction pants" a lot sooner than I intended

In a lot of ways, I'm still very angry about the situation, I guess partially because I feel that once you make a commitment to an animal like this, you should honor it, unless circumstances beyond your control force you to.......but to me, this is not one of those things, y'know? Now, if the cat had a reputation for being crabby, surly, ill-tempered, etc, I could see it a little better, but he's a sweet, gentle giant who just hates to be harassed by small hands that haven't been taught to leave him alone.

Ah well, vent over.....and on the plus side, I get a Himmy back in my life!

I haven't read all the replies to your post and I don't know if you have already taken the cat back. But either way, I would let your SIL know that kids need to learn how to handle animals properly.


This is very important because you can be sure that if she gets another cat or even a puppy that the child will get bit or scratched again. When this happens your SIL may decide to get the cat declawed, and we all know what that does to the poor cat.


So please KittenKrazy, educate your SIL !


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