Single Ladies....I have a question for you..

[white cat lover]

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I love living alone too..but I also miss that fuzzy feeling of never getting enough of someone and being so excited to see them..

Doesn't Trout count?

I think you need another kitty!!

 

[swampwitch]

I know exactly how you feel. I got married too early at 24 to a man with some severe emotional problems I didn't know about... it ended badly.

For the next eight years, I did what many people here advise and became happy with myself. I learned to love living by myself (with my kitties!). I sold my car and lived very cheaply so I could work part-time. I was poor but had lots of "me" time and that's what I needed.

When I was 30 I made a plan. I made a list of the qualities I wanted in a man, and decided to put myself in a place where this kind of man might be. Looks and money in a man were unimportant to me, but intelligence, commitment, respect, and honesty were. I got an administrative job at a university in a scientific department that had lots of grad students and post-docs. I figured anybody who can get a scientific Ph.d. can keep a commitment and has to be smart!

It was love at first sight, no kidding. We dated for four years and have been married eleven very happy ones. He's ten years younger than me so evidently age wasn't important, either!

MY ADVICE: Get happy with yourself, give yourself lots of time, and when you are ready, make a list of what's really important to you in a partner, and then put yourself with men who have those qualities.

Keep the faith! It will happen! Oh, and DON'T SETTLE.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

p.s. My husband had long hair and a beard for 8 years (scientist) and I never REALLY knew what he looked like, but when he shaved and cut his hair he was GEORGEOUS! Go figure!

 

[lovemybabies]

Totally normal. It really depends on the person. I just got out of a 4 year relationship, and have no desire to dive back into another relationship...the women in my family tend not to get married until they are in their 30s, so I don't really feel any pressure to "hurry up" (I'm almost 20).

However, some of my friends at school are desperate to find the right guy - they have so much planned out! Wanting to be married by 25 and have a kid by 27, the kids' names, that sort of thing.

Or in the case of one of them, any guy! She's 22 and trying to get pregnant because she wants a baby so bad...unfortunately the guy she's with is an alcoholic who treats her like crud!

So yes, you're totally normal!

 

[trouts mom]

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

When I was 30 I made a plan. I made a list of the qualities I wanted in a man, and decided to put myself in a place where this kind of man might be. Looks and money in a man were unimportant to me, but intelligence, commitment, respect, and honesty were. I got an administrative job at a university in a scientific department that had lots of grad students and post-docs. I figured anybody who can get a scientific Ph.d. can keep a commitment and has to be smart!

It was love at first sight, no kidding. We dated for four years and have been married eleven very happy ones. He's ten years younger than me so evidently age wasn't important, either!

MY ADVICE: Get happy with yourself, give yourself lots of time, and when you are ready, make a list of what's really important to you in a partner, and then put yourself with men who have those qualities.

Keep the faith! It will happen! Oh, and DON'T SETTLE.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

p.s. My husband had long hair and a beard for 8 years (scientist) and I never REALLY knew what he looked like, but when he shaved and cut his hair he was GEORGEOUS! Go figure!

Really great advice!! I definately have already decided that above all I will not settle..No way I'm wasting another year with the wrong person.

Your story is really nice, how you met your husband..how romantic. I hope that happens for me!! But I will not LOOK for it

Its hard though......geeeeeeez!!