Shy cat adjustment issues

[meb182]

I recently adopted a cat. The human society wasn't sure whether she was born feral or abandoned young, referring to her as very shy or "semi-feral". I know this will take a lot of time and I'm willing to put in the work however I was hoping for advice. This is the first cat I've had that wasn't in a loving home from kittenhood so I may be a bit out of my depth.

The foster described her as a sweet cuddlebug but shy. The cat was with the foster for several years apparently. She has been with me for about six weeks. She has been in my home office (there was nowhere smaller that would have worked), I set it up with beds, scratching options, toys, litter box, feliway diffuser etc and visited her every hour or so for 10-20min. I would always give her a treat when I visited and she was happily taking them from me. Over the first two weeks or so she seemed to be adjusting slowly but steadily.

But then one day with no warning she smacked and scratched my hand when I offered the treat. Since then it's been an uphill battle and it feels like no matter how hard I try she continues to think the worst. She spends all her time hiding, or dashing between hiding spots. She has a clean bill of health, uses the litter box with no issues and eats normally. There are no other pets or kids or anything else to disturb her, so I can't figure out why we seem to be moving backwards.

How much time should I be spending around her? I was trying to increase the amount of time I spend in the room by working half days in there but I'm worried I am stressing her out by being there.

Should I try to make the hiding places off limits?

I've been giving her some wet food twice a day and there is a bowl of dry food as well that she can have whenever. Should I take the dry food away and only feed her on a schedule?

 

[Silver Crazy]

Great you have taken in the cat.
If she is an older cat it is a good chance she has now claimed your office as her territory and now you are the intruder, thats why you got the smack.
First few weeks she would have been acclimatizing and now she got used to things she starting to claim own her space.
Don't make any hiding places off limits..she has to have some place that's she feels safe of her own.
I would go onto scheduled feeding as this gives you more time to interact with the cat when something pleasant is happening.
So when she puts her head down to feed give her a quick touch on the head or scratch on the back and keep it up over time until she tolerates it completely.
Keep a verbal commentary going before and while feeding too so she associates your voice with pleasant happenings as well.
Make a play time about the same time every day for only a short time if she wants to play but otherwise at this time apart from talking to her I would ignore her and no eye contact as you are going about doing your own thing. So hands off totally for a while until she comes to you. Its a bit cruel to be kind but thats the way it goes.
With the treats I would walk past and say..wanna treat... and drop it in front of her nose and keep walking...gives her confidence something good is coming when you are directly approaching or walking towards her instead of her thinking she has to run away.
And don't stress..cats will pick up on it.
She should gradually come around as she gets to trust you more.
Remember she is going through some big changes in her life being with you instead of a shelter so she will go forward one step and back 3 sometimes so be patient.
But I would be hands off for now and let her do the hard work of approaching you and asking for pats and attention, she will do it in her own time, you cant force this along.
Also might be over the time you gave her free run of the house because she might be a bit frustrated being restricted to a small space.
Just time and patience and all should be good.

 

[meb182]

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it! She is around 5 or 6 years old. I will take away the dry food and just provide food on a schedule. She now does have the option of the whole house, as I started leaving the door open when the weather got hotter. She sneaks out to one other hiding spot on the upper floor at night but otherwise hasn't ventured further that I know of. If i'm around she will absolutely not come out of whatever spot she was in when I showed up I tried gently playing with her but she seemed upset so I stopped. She hasn't touched the regular toys scattered around and doesn't seem to have used the scratching pads or post either, but neither has she used her claws on any furniture. I would really like to take her to my vet or a groomer to get her nails done and some mats removed but I haven't wanted to stress her further by trying that.

It sounds like I should be fine working in the office as long as I ignore her outside of the designated times. But when I do interact with her should I be crawling down to her level (e.g. under stuff) so she can see my face or should I just sit back and talk to her?

I was also wondering if she can smell my previous cat (passed away in February) and is bothered by that? I had washed all the cat beds, but the one scratching post and most of the toys probably still smell. Should I go buy all new toys etc?

 

[LTS3]

TCS has a few articles about shy cats:

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats - TheCatSite

Timid cats can be a challenge, but we've got you covered. Read insights from 16 top cat experts as they share invaluable tips for understanding, caring for, and building trust with your shy feline friend.

thecatsite.com

How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? [Answered] - TheCatSite

Ready to play detective in your own home? Is your normally sociable pet playing hide and seek a little too enthusiastically? This article is the ultimate guide to coaxing out a mysteriously disappearing cat, understanding why they're hiding, and how you can help them feel safe. While you might...

thecatsite.com

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat - TheCatSite

Living with a shy cat can be a unique and rewarding experience. Discover practical tips for understanding your timid feline's behavior.

thecatsite.com

 

[susanm9006]

When you adopt an adult cat you don’t know what their history with humans is and so you don’t know what it is that they find scary. It could be a thing, but also a movement or a scent. I suspect that there was some kind of fear trigger for your girl. She may have felt you were reaching for her, she may have remembered being tricked with a treat in the last, hard to say. But it’s normal behavior and probably temporary behavior.

She needs to settle in, to check out you and your place and to decide these are safe. The thing to do is to spend time with her but give her space. Sitting or laying on the floor is best because you are less of a threat to her when you are on her level, talk to her, try to engage her in play or even just read a book aloud. Just don’t try to reach for her and I would even be careful with eye contact. Let her tell you when she is ready to be close and for touch.

And, this isn’t always a straightforward path either. She may have days at first where she trusts you and things seem to be moving forward and others where she is nervous. Just have faith that with love and patience she will be a loving happy cat.

 

[susanm9006]

Sorry, I forgot to mention that I would definitely not remove her hiding spaces and since she has been with you for six weeks, and, if you don’t have other pets, I would consider leaving the door open so that she can start to explore the rest of your place. She will do this at night while you are sleeping and she may even find a spot outside of her room where she can hide and observe you while you are doing your daily activities. I would leave a litterbox and food/water in another room for her so she has a choice and then let her explore.

 

[meb182]

Thank you so much for the advice!

 

[alewifebp]

I had a very shy cat that didn't like change at all. In the shelter he was totally a cuddlebug, but as soon as I took him home to my relatively small apartment, he hissed and then hid. Luckily he hid behind the washing machine, which was right next to the litter and near the kitchen where I had the food.

It took a good month for him to start acclimating to me. As others have suggested, I would frequently talk to him while I was nearby, and would avoid looking at him in his hiding spot so that he wouldn't get scared. Gradually he started coming out of his shell and we would have short play sessions, until he finally started exploring and not hid anymore. It still was some time before he wouldn't get scared of loud noises. He actually never got totally at home, was always a little bit of a scaredy cat, but he was very attached to me.

Give him time, and give him his space. If he wants to hide, let him. He needs to know he has a safe space to go to.

 

[meb182]

thank you! she explored the lower floor while I slept (she leaves fur everywhere she goes so I can tell) last night for the first time I think. She spent all day today under the futon while I worked but did eat her food while I was in the room which is a positive change over the last week where she refused to eat if I was there.

 

[meb182]

Since she won't eat in front of me most of the time (and I can't just stay there forever all the time), should I just wait a few minutes and then take it away if she doesn't come out to eat it and try again later? It seems like putting it down and then going away when she won't come out kind of defeats the purpose of having her associate me with the food.

 

[susanm9006]

Since she won't eat in front of me most of the time (and I can't just stay there forever all the time), should I just wait a few minutes and then take it away if she doesn't come out to eat it and try again later? It seems like putting it down and then going away when she won't come out kind of defeats the purpose of having her associate me with the food.

I would just leave the food if she won’t eat while you are there. She will still be associating you with food and no sense forcing her to starve because she is fearful. I adopted my semi feral nine years ago and one remaining fear for her is eating while I am near.

 

[meb182]

I just wanted to thank everyone again for the advice and provide an update. I took her to my vet to have them examine her as well as clip her nails and deal with her matted fur. They ended up shaving her and also found out that she was constipated and likely very uncomfortable. I feel dumb for not having realized that, but she seemed to be pooping regularly, although they were quite dry. I've changed her diet now and moved the litter box to somewhere a bit more private to encourage her to go more, also adding another litter box on the lower level.

Now that she is feeling better inside and out there has been immediate progress! Within just one or two days from the vet trip she started playing with toys and making trips to the lower floor while I was still down here. She also started spending time on my bed although she would run away when I came upstairs. Then suddenly on Friday, she came out from under the futon and started purring and snuggling up to me. Turns out she is a massive sucky baby! She is still skittish but each day now she is out more and more for cuddles and pets and is getting braver.

 

[Sylvia Jones]

Such great news!

 

[Furballsmom]

each day now she is out more and more for cuddles and pets and is getting braver.

This is wonderful - I'm glad you have each other!

 

[felinelover2]

Congrats! I had a similar experience with our two shy kitties. It is so rewarding when they eventually trust you.

 

[Silver Crazy]

Thats fantastic..great news