Should I tell vet how I feel?

[kh2b1]

I'm new here, although I've been lurking around for a long time.

I've been taking my cats to the same animal hospital for about 8 years or so. For the last five years or so I've mainly been taking my cats to one particular doctor there, let's just call her "Dr. C".

I recently found out that Dr. C has left the practice and it's unclear if she'll be practicing veterinary medicine again. I was told she left for personal reasons. When I received the news I was absolutely devastated. While I don't think Dr. C was that good of a vet, I know she is a very compassionate person who genuinely cares for the animals she treats. She is the only vet I've ever encountered who truly seems to care for the animals. She takes the time to explain things and never got offended when I questioned her treatment plans, she actually liked it when I did that. She has gone out of her way to help my pets and me, unlike any other vet I've come across.

When I've had to euthanize my cats, Dr. C is the one I want to do it. The other doctors either don't care about the animal or are trying to act professional and not show any emotions. Dr. C gets upset and shows her emotions. One time she whispered, "I love you" to my cat in his final moments. I thought it was sweet. She can take a deeply upsetting situation like euthanasia and make it a more peaceful experience. No other vet I've come across can do that.

I've been considering writing a letter to Dr. C to tell her how much she has meant to me and my cats. I want to tell her what a wonderful person she is and how rare it is to find that in a person and especially in a veterinarian (at least in my experience). I know where she lives and would send the letter to her house. Does anyone think any of this would seem inappropriate? I don't want to come across as a stalker or like some obsessive person who has a crush.

 

[ldg]

Is the circumstance you have her personal address unusual? If so, I'd say send her the letter via the vet practice, and write "personal & confidential" on the envelope, write in her name, but leave the address blank (put on postage) and enclose that in an envelope with a note to the vet practice asking them to please send this on to her.

But I think she'd appreciate knowing how much you valued her work and compassion!

 

[catsallaround]

I would do ad LDG suggested. That very well make her day and show her just how much she is missed.
I know the difference it can make having a vet that shows a bit of herself with the really complicated parts of owning cats

 

[snickerdoodle]

Yes, I agree with other posters. I've finally found a couple of great vets at my new place and I adore them and let them know each time how much I appreciate the time they take with me and everything. I think letting her know would be an excellent idea.

 

[larussa]

One time she whispered, "I love you" to my cat in his final moments.

My vet said to Misty while she was giving her the final shot, my arms were around Misty on the table with my head buried in her fur but I looked up at her when she said close to tears "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you Misty". I was just so shocked at that but I really shouldn't have been since my vet has always been so compassionate with Misty and I'm sure with all the cats who come to her to heal. She really takes it to heart when she loses one.

I hope you will be able to get in touch with your previous vet to tell her all she meant to you and your kitties. I don't know what I would do either if my vet was gone.

 

[bastetservant]

Oh, I think the letter would be a lovely and appropriate thing to do. So often, we don't know if we make any impact on others' lives. People can despair, especially people in "helping" professions. It means so much to know that others appreciated one's efforts and know you cared.

As an aside, I'm a bit concerned that you weren't that confident in this vets skills. I think it is important to find a vet who has GREAT skills as a doctor, as well as compassion.

I have a vet who I've been going to for 25 years. Actually, I've been going to the practice for about 32 years. He came in, as a young Turk, right out of vet school. He made a major impression on me, the first year, because he went up against the senior vet who owned the practice in advising against my very senior cat (18 years) having his teeth cleaned. I vividly remember the encounter between the two as I watched. The new guy didn't think the risk of the anesthesia was worth it. The older vet said, "Well, his teeth probably hurt." The young vet said, "Well, my teeth sometimes hurt, too. It's not the end of the world. And it's not worth the risk."

I immediately bonded with him, and 25 years later, I drive 20 miles to take my cats to him, still, though there are many, many closer vets. He bought the practice long ago. He has sent me flowers when a cat dies. Actually lately, when I've lost cats (3 in the last 4.5 years - 1 to old age, and 2 to cancer), he's been making a donation (and sending me a card) to a charity who helps people pay for vet bills. He knows I'm deep into rescue and shelter volunteering. He gave me a discount when my last cat died on the operating table. He's a prince. And if there is something he can't handle, he sends me to specialists. He has a woman vet who comes in each Monday to do surgery, as he thinks she is better at it, and it is one of his days off.

So, I think one should look for a cat loving, cat understanding vet, who is also a great scientist, and refers to specialists when necessary.

Anyway, write the letter, it's a good thing to do, and the woman will very much appreciate it. You have no idea how much it may mean to her.

Robin

 

[nurseangel]

I think writing her a letter would be very nice. She may be going through a difficult situation right now. I'm sure it would cheer her to know how much she was appreciated.

 

[Winchester]

I would. Why don't you buy her a nice Thank You card and put your note inside the card and mail them both?

 

[kh2b1]

Thanks for the help everyone.

Originally Posted by LDG

Is the circumstance you have her personal address unusual? If so, I'd say send her the letter via the vet practice, and write "personal & confidential" on the envelope, write in her name, but leave the address blank (put on postage) and enclose that in an envelope with a note to the vet practice asking them to please send this on to her.

I learned where she lived a few years ago when I did my own personal background search on each of the doctors at that animal hospital. I thought about giving the letter to someone at the animal hospital, but I don't know if I can trust them to send it and not read it or lose it. I want to make sure that Dr. C gets it. What I could do is ask either the veterinarian who owns the practice or Dr. C's assistant friend (if I see her) whether Dr. C would be ok if I sent the letter to her house. I don't think Dr. C would mind me sending the letter to her house, she's pretty cool. She might figure someone at the animal hospital gave me her address. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Originally Posted by bastetservant

As an aside, I'm a bit concerned that you weren't that confident in this vets skills. I think it is important to find a vet who has GREAT skills as a doctor, as well as compassion.

I've had trouble finding good vets. I've had issues with all of them I've seen (about 5 or 6) not knowing stuff that they should. Dr. C seems to be the least knowledgeable, but the most trustworthy. The vet I'm going to now has issues with telling me when my cats are dying. I've been through that twice with her. For some reason she won't tell me they're dying or how long they have to live. I asked, but she gave me the runaround. I'd rather have a vet who is upfront with me because I figure that at this point what they lack in knowledge I can make up for. I've made it a point to learn as much as I can about feline veterinary medicine. I'd say I'm doing pretty good considering I've been more right about stuff than the veterinarians, and they know it too. I'm going to try out two other vets at the practice, but it may be six months from now because I don't want to try out a new vet with a sick cat. I've been there and done that and won't do it again unless I have no other choice.

Unfortunately, I live in such a semi-remote area that I'm limited as to where I can take my cats. Some cats don't travel well and there are only two places close by and they aren't that great. Most of the better places are more than 30 minutes away which is too far. With cats who are seriously ill, sometimes the worst thing to do is actually taking them to the vets because of the car ride. I've had that problem before and it ended badly. I hear there's a really good travelling vet around here with a working xray machine in their van. I'll have to check them out.

 

[ldg]

We live in a rural area, and I expect if any of the vets we work with retire they wouldn't be surprised to get a letter from us at their home (we have their phone numbers and cell numbers and stuff LOL).

It was just a suggestion if you think there's any reason she'd be concerned you have her address - which it sounded in your original post was potentially a concern.

If you don't trust the practice, I'd go ahead and send it. I'm sure she'd like to hear how you feel.

 

[threecatowner]

I have written heartfelt notes to my vets several times - one even put Mickey's picture up on his fridge (he'd saved Mickey's life).

I think in this day and age ANY time you can let someone know they are appreciated, DO IT.