Severe separation anxiety

[aubs1978]

Alfie, my 9 year old indoor boy, had a run-in back in April with the biggest German Shepard (Harley) you'll ever see. When we are outside we occasionally allow Alfie and Zoe (9 year old girl) out under our supervision. Harley belongs to my brother-in-law and we were hosting a family BBQ. We let Alfie and Zoe out, and while he was on the patio my brother showed up with Harley, who actually is a really good dog. When he spotted Alfie he started to trot over to check him out. Alfie's response was instantaneous, back arched, hissing… Harley actually backed off. We all laughed and put Alfie back inside. Almost immediately he started roaming the house meowing and begging to go outside. Then just about a month later my father-in-law entered hospice at home and we spent a lot of time there helping my mother-in-law. Unfortunately that's where Harley lives. Alfie started peeing on things when we were home that we'd brought to my in-law's house and continued meowing incessantly. Shortly after my father-in-law died, Zoe got really sick and started having seizures. She ended up having chronic toxoplasmosis, which meant she'd been sick for a very long time. She's fine now, antibiotics kicked it. But it's been incredibly stressful at my house for the last few months to say the least. But I am at the end of my rope with Alfie. He's glued to my side at every opportunity. I've built an extra 10 minutes into my morning routine before work so we can spend quality time together before I leave. And I have to do the same thing when I get home. When I'm gone, my husband says he meows all day long. It should be noted, that he is still peeing on things, but only on my husband's things. If he feels like he's being ignored, he'll pop a squat on Jim's shoe, or the shorts he's accidentally left on the floor. Right now he's at the end of my seat on my foot rest, and I'm trying not to make eye contact because I want a couple moments to myself. I did have him checked out by the vet. He is physically healthy, but she said it's separation anxiety for sure. She gave me a script for Prozac but I don't want to drug him. Has anyone ever dealt with this before? I have done everything i can find online, and I started watching My Cat From Hell on TLC and have done everything Jackson Galaxy has done. I also grew cat grass hoping that would ease his desire to get out. If anyone has any suggestions or personal experience with this, please help me out!! Long rant, but I'm hoping someone has some advice.

 

[vball91]

Have you tried a Feliway pheromone diffuser or calming flower essences (Spirit Essences, Bach Flower Remedies, Australian Bush Flower Essences)? He does sound stressed out and these things may help him relax more. He also may be picking up on your and your husband's stress as well. It sounds like it's been hard on all of you recently. During your quality time together, do you play with him? Play can definitely help with stress levels. I hope you find something that helps his anxiety.

 

[aubs1978]

Thanks so much for your reply! We did do Feliway. We plugged them in and kind of forgot about them because not much had changed. When we did remember it had been empty for i don't know how long. I know they sometimes take a while to take effect, so maybe I'll give it another go. I would love to play with him, but he is so incredibly lazy. i can't get him to play with anything other than a laser pointer, and only on his terms and only for about 2 minutes. Then he just lays down on his side and looks bored. Our quality time together is me giving him a rub down until he decides he's had enough. I know i probably make it worse by bowing to his demands, and I would totally ignore him like the other posts say, but I'm afraid he'll just pee on something to get my attention. My husband just thinks he's a jerk lol.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

This article was written by the site owner and might have some ideas for you: http://www.thecatsite.com/a/six-surefire-strategies-to-reduce-stress-in-cats   I agree that he sounds stressed.  Also; be sure that you are cleaning where he messes thoroughly so he doesn't go back because of the smell.  If he is choosing to go on your husband's things; to me that's a cry for attention.  Have you let him back outside again?

 

[aubs1978]

No we haven't let him back outside. We live in a small neighborhood surrounded by a corn field, a soy bean field, and forest. It's peaceful, but lots of animals around I don't trust. Alfie is driving me insane, but I don't want him to be exposed to dangerous environments! He has stopped begging to go outside, but I know if we let him out even supervised it will be a huge step backward. Do you think he's looking for attention from my husband? I've been trying to tell my husband that he needs to interact more with him in a positive way. Alfie loves to be brushed, and he loves eating, so I've asked Jim to brush him, or take over feedings, but he's convinced Alfie is just a jerk and it won't make a difference. The only time he interacts with him it's to pick him up (which he hates and Jim knows it), or to get in his face and irritate him. Jim thinks he's playing, but I think not. When Jim walks away, Alfie runs up behind him and latches on to his leg then runs away real fast. Jim thinks it's hysterical. He also will sit on the stairs and wait for Jim to look at him then he knocks his mail or whatever else is there off the steps and onto the floor. Jim thinks that's less funny. I am going to read that article. Thanks!!