Serious problem at work...need to vent a bit

[shell]

Thank you all so VERY much! I completely dreading going to work today & I don't think I slept very good at all because it was over bearing on my mind. I know I did the right thing, but since I'm so new to this store it's difficult for me. I'm sure I'll hear it from others that think I was wrong in my actions (there's always a few of those kind in any situation) but I feel better as a person knowing that he didn't get away with this. I don't know if he's already got a file with this kind of situation, but now he does & that's the most important thing. I just hope that other women in my store will see what I've done & realize that they don't have to put up with this kind of nonsense. Each & every Associate in my store has had to take some kind of sexual harassment course, so everyone knows that our Company doesn't take this lightly. Unfortunately, it happens all the time with in the Company & not many people stand up when they've been harassed. Plus, it's not just women that are getting harassed these days...it's a two way street.

As for what happened today, I don't know. I seen him this morning & I swear I stopped breathing for a minute. I just happened to be in Layaway writing down my notes & of course, I was alone. I hear someone in the background say "Oh look! It's my favorite Shop Technician!" & it was him. I looked up & made eye contact...and went right back to writing my notes. I said nothing at all. So, I know at that point he hadn't been talked to yet. I didn't see him the rest of the day, so I don't know if Management had a meeting with him or not. Now I'm dreading Monday morning! Since I won't be back to the store this weekend, I will have no idea what happens until I return on Monday. Hopefully, things will be under control & I won't have to deal with his comments any longer. I am prepared to deal with it all now & have a better plan set in my mind. I was totally freaked out the past couple of days & just didn't know what to do. Thank you all for your support! I really appreciate it!

 

[fluffy'smom]

Shell,
I'm sorry your going through this

I hope this man gets what he deserves.

 

[kiwideus]

Shell, I am sorry you are going through this, it really is not nice having people do that to you, I have been there before, it happened to me at college and I reported it and the guy was warned and he left me alone after that.

I wish you all the best of luck.

 

[caprice]

Be careful Shell!! Throw up your dukes next time!!...hehe...just kidding. This guy was way over the line and she probably be fired or transferred to another store so he isn't around you. Make sure a friend walks you to your car at night too! Good luck!

 

[pollyanna]

Shell, I am sorry you have to be dealing with this. I hope the ackwardness will go by and you will be able to relax soon! Be careful!

 

[bentaminal]

Hi shell

I'm new to these forums but after coming across your post I couldn't help but reply.

The guy is a creep and possibly dangerous. He will never see his behavior as being bad. I don't want to scare you but you should be aware of your surroundings at all times. Also, in the future, when anybody addresses you in a non-professional manner in a work setting tell them immediately that it makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer that they address you in whatever way you want.

I used to manage a teleservices quality control department and had to pull people off the phones after hearing them either make a major mistake with a customer or if they were rude to the customer. I would take them into an empty office(policy of the company I worked for but not one I was particularly fond of) and always, always, always brought another employee with just so I and the company would be protected from false claims of harassment.

If someone chooses to put theirselves and their company at risk of harassment charges, even false claims, they don't belong there!

 

[deb25]

Good for you for reporting this creep, Shell. Back in my early Wally days as a cashier, one of the managers was harrassing me, even going so far as to put his hand on my thigh under the table at a cashier meeting. I told the store manager about it, and guess what? NOTHING was done! Glad to see that the company has updated their sexual harrassment policy.

 

[shell]

Oh My Gosh Deb! That's awful! I'm sorry that they didn't do anything about it. Maybe it comes down to the different management in the stores. My Co-Manager who is a male felt really bad this happened & was reassuring that this problem would be resolved. I trust him a lot & he's a really great manager, so I know that his word is good. I had to give a written statement & so did my partner Adam since he was there when most of the issues happened.

I've had to learn the hard way that I need to stand up when the problem first arrives. If I would have done that, maybe things would have turned out differently. But knowing how this guy is, it might have fueled his fire even more.

I'll let you guys know what happens when I find out tomorrow if he lost his job or what happened to him.

Thank you all for support during this time. It's been really hard for me & I really appreciate all of your support!

 

[deb25]

Actually, I remember I told the store manager that I had told my husband about the incident and he said, "What did you do THAT for?"

Sometimes I wish I could roll back the clock and sue the hell out of them.

 

[shell]

wow...you should of sued them! I just can't believe that some people think this is ok to do & make out to be that the person was harassed is the one to blame. That's just maddening!

 

[angelface]

As an HR Director, I say "Good For YOU!", and everyone on this site who advised you that you did the right thing!

Anytime you feel "uncomfortable" with a situation (another person gave similar advice on this website), make your feelings known and request that the other person stop the offensive behavior. Once the other person continues the offensive behavior, he/she has committed harassment. Period. Against the law.

Also, go to HR or another level of management, and voice your concern. Generally, the offender will receive a "warning" that the behavior was out of order and cannot happen again. Then, if the behavior ever does occur again, he/she is OUTA HERE!

It is the obligation of HR and management to STOP the illegal behavior. If they fail to stop the illegal behavior, you can sue your employer for damages. TRUST ME, your company will stop the uncomfortable situation- they don't want a suit!

Regards, Happy Holidays, and how do I get a cute little animal for my signature????!!!!

'cj'

 

[a_loveless_gem]

Hi Shell,

You did the right thing. Though if anyone ever says anything to you in future that you're not comfortable with, speak up.

Don't feel intimidated when you see him. You didn't do anything wrong. And if you feel that he's acting out because of the report, then report that as well. I'm sure that there's some sort of regulations that would state that he can't make your life miserable because you complained, and neither can anyone else.

You may have a short meeting with the other management so that you know what happenned and who to contact if he does anything again. Or if he starts to make you professional life miserable.

 

[clarabelle]

The last 15 years I have worked in a male dominated work area. I have found out that those kind of men are scum and treat you how you let them. What has worked for me is the minute it starts, stop it then. If they call you hun or sweetie, tell them right then what your name is. If you feel uneasy being alone with them, you do not have to go into any room with them, get someone to go with you. And always go to management asap and report these people.
I remember one time when the First President Bush was president and he came to our company and the secret service was everywhere. With me being the bosses assistant they would come to me with questions and I even typed letters for them. This one man that I worked with in the company saw the work I as doing and made a comment like "look at you working with all these cute secret service guys, maybe you can hook one", I told him, Let me tell you something mister, I do not apreciate your comment and I am here to do my job, so why don't you do yours". From that day on he never talked like that to me and has been very polite around me.
So when things first happen Nip It

You hang in there, you have done nothing wrong and maybe other women in the company will speak up. You know they are out there, they were just afraid.
Clara

 

[shell]

Thanks everyone! I thought I'd give you a quick update on the situation. I got to work this morning at 7 & who did I run into...yes Tom (that's his name). He gave me the deer in the headlight look & walked away. I was shocked to see him & by seeing his expression, I didn't say anything. Later in the morning, I had a meeting with my CoManager who told me that they wrote him up & gave him a decision making day (in laymens terms: they sent him home & have him the decision if he wanted to change his behavior. If so, he can come back. If not, he's gone.). Obviously, he came back but he's on probation for one year. I was told that he openly admitted to saying & do those things to me and that he didn't realize he was upsetting me. He even said that he's done that to customers! But promised to stop that behavior immediately.

I'm happy with that decision. At least he'll be on probation for one year & is being held accountable for his actions. I guess I'll have to wait and see how it goes when I finally run into him again.

I've definitely learned that I need to nip those kinds of things right at the start....especially since I'm upper management. I should have known better, but now I know what I should have done will do that from now on.

Thank you all for your support! Thank you all so much!

 

[big kat]

Shell I'm so glad to hear it seems to have turned out well. I have been reading the thread and waiting till you posted this evening to see how it was when you first saw him after he had a talking to. You certainly don't need to put up with that kind of behavior from anyone ever at work and by having the courage to stand up to it you helped all the future women he might and probably would have acted the same way with. Way to go!

 

[a_loveless_gem]

That's great news!

Though the part about him doing the same thing to customers is shocking. I think it may have been part of his defence strategy in that no one else has complained before. Just my thought on things.

I hope everything goes smoothly and he does his job.

Take care of yourself.

 

[purrfectcatlove]

He admitt doing that even to the customers , omg . He is lucky he never meet me , he for sure would have bin fired .

Glad everything went well today

and I am so proud of you .

 

[shell]

Thanks Guys!

It was really tough but I figure that it gave me great experience as a Manager. I may have to deal with situations like this in the future & now I know how to handle it as a Manager. I guess the old saying holds true "What ever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

On a lighter note, I could have killed my partner in crime

today! He walks into the office & the first thing outta his mouth was "Michelle...did you hear what happened this weekend?". I of course say no. He then says "OMG, they had to call the cops! I guess Tom just wigged out when they talked to him & they had him arrested!". I swear I thought I was going to cry & I must have had the look of sheer horror on my face. Then he busted out laughing & said "Gotcha!". That little punk!

After I chewed him out for a solid minute & saying more cuss words than a sailor, I finally laughed about it. He could tell that I had worked myself up over it all & just wanted to see me freak out a bit & get me to laughing (which I hadn't done in several days). He's lucky that I like him!

I could have kicked him the butt! But he succeeded...he made me laugh & that was the whole point of it all.

Just had to share about my so very nice partner & how he about gave me a heartattack this morning!

Thanks again Guys! Thanks for being there when I really needed someone to talk to!

 

[pamela]

ROTFLMBO!!! How mean of ur partner in crime!

At least he got u laughing.

Hang in there..

 

[a_loveless_gem]

ROTFLMAO!!

That's so funny. And good of your partner in crime.