Separation Anxiety: Rehome or get 2nd cat?

[bestdayever]

I have an 8 month old female, spayed kitten that I adopted at 2.5 months old. The problem is that she is very needy and doesn't do well when left alone too long.  She cries when I'm leaving, and when I get home she's waiting by the door crying.  If I step out to take out the garbage, she starts screaming (literally) until I get back.  I tried a feliway diffuser but it hasn't changed anything.

Another problem is that I tried to take her on a road trip for the holidays so I could see my family, and she had a complete nervous breakdown in the car.  She broke a piece of the cage and screamed in horror the entire trip.  It was heartbreaking and I've never seen anything like that before.  Even worse, when we got there she refused to eat or come out from under the bed, which is not normal for her.  Sedatives from her vet did not help on the trip home.

At this point, I am scared to travel anywhere and feel trapped.  I'm always rushing home from work from guilt for leaving her alone all day.

I'm thinking I either need to re-home her or adopt a companion kitten for her.  I don't think I can handle re-homing her, as we have bonded these past 6 months.  So getting another kitten may be the better option.  However, I don't know if I'm creating more problems and stress for myself for the following reasons:

1. I live in a one bedroom apartment, so I don't know how I would pull off a slow introduction.

2. I didn't get the sense when I adopted her that she liked other cats.  She showed brief aggression toward one of her cage mates and was indifferent to the other two.

3. I'm worried the new kitten/cat would teach her bad litter box habits.  Right now, my cat has perfect litter box use.

4. One cat is stressing me out, so would I be able to handle two cats/personalities?

Is there anything else I should consider?  I just want to be able to travel and go out after work without worrying about her stressing out from being left alone.  I also want her to be happy.

Thanks for reading.

 

[ginny]

Poor kitty!  It sounds like she really loves you and it pains me to think of having to send her away.  As for getting a new companion kitty given her history with other cats?  I don't know if that's a good idea either, but I'm hoping others here have some good suggestions for you.  It may be that she needs to be on an anti-depressant.  And for me to say that, I'm really grasping at straws.  But probably the first thing to do is get her checked out by the vet for the cause of her anxiety.  Does anyone else enter your home during the day?  

Have you visited Jackson Galaxy's site for tips?  He had an episode about a cat who had separation anxiety, but in that case the "owner" was very fixated on his own illness and blamed the cat for making his illness worse.  Still, there may be some tips in that episode that could help you.  I do not recall what Jackson did to help resolve the situation but I didn't feel like this owner really loved his cat anymore, even though the cat did show signs of improvement.  

 

[ginny]

I just found an article on this site.  I didn't read but just a little of the post where the article was linked but she found it helpful:

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/separation-anxiety-in-cats/

 

[bestdayever]

I just found an article on this site.  I didn't read but just a little of the post where the article was linked but she found it helpful:

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/separation-anxiety-in-cats/

This article was helpful thank you! It helped me realize she is confident when I'm home, so I know she has enough enrichment. Just before she climbed in my lap just now, she had spent the last hour playing with her toys and napping in her tree.

I will look into music/tv while I'm out to see if that helps.

Other advice would be much appreciated. Particularly if anyone thinks a companion cat would help or even work in this circumstance.

 

[bestdayever]

Bumping for additional suggestions. Thanks!

 

[ginny]

Here's another I found:

http://buff.ly/1ritOE5

 

[dbljj]

soft music while gone, leave toys out to be played with..

 

[kittens mom]

Are you paying attention to her right before you leave and as soon as you come in ? As much as I love my cats we make no ado about leaving and ignore them for 15 minutes when we come home. Our new baby cat would sit on me all day. I allow 10 minutes and then scoot her off to play during the day. When I get up she starts calling me to let her out of her crate. I do. As soon as she sits down and waits. Often we foster the very behavior we wish to eliminate.

I suggest you get a web cam and observe her behavior when you are gone and out of ear shot. Make sure she has a good observation window. I wouldn't get another cat unless you wanted one for yourself. There is no guarantee they will even become close after the hissing and spitting stops.

 

[bestdayever]

Good points. I can see where I may be reinforcing certain behaviors.

I just worry about how to prepare her for possibly being left alone with a brief visits by a sitter if I travel. Or if I kenneled her would she have the same violent reaction she had when she was in the car on our road trip.

I try to manage her stress the best I can as she has FHS symptoms and I don't want her flaring up and in pain/uncomfortable.

 

[red dog]

I recently adopted two cats from the animal shelter. I adopted 2 primarily because I'm working, etc most days and am gone. It only took 2-3 days for the cats to become acclimated with each other and my place. I have male Brown Tabby (1 yr) and female Torty (8 mons). They were playing tag on about day 3, and now going on 3 months are pals. I'd recommend adding another cat, its not much more work, and it leads to happy cats, happy cats = happy owners.  

As for driving with my cats, I try not to do so as much as possible. I just had to take them for nail clipping the other day, a less than 1 mile drive, both were quite unhappy. and let me know it.  Its just the way it is. When I went out of town, I used a local pet sitter to come by & feed them.  That was a lot less stress on the cats & myself, I'd recommend that as opposed to any type of kennel. Good luck.

 

[bestdayever]

Strangely enough, my kitten has been a lot less needy the past few days. Maybe she's maturing? I hope she keeps this up. It will give me more confidence that she'll be able to handle my upcoming travel in the spring. Fingers crissed!

 

[red dog]

I'd find a reputable dog walker or pet sitter to feed your cat & visit  during your trip. It won't be pretty if she is in for another road trip, lol. Good Luck.

 

[bestdayever]

Yes this trip is for work, so she'll be at home with a friend or sitter. Or if I can't get that scheduled I'll have to kennel her. No more road trips. That was a horrifying experience!

 

[red dog]

I took the time to find a reputable dog walker during the holidays (San Diego) to come by once a day to feed & visit, $22 a day for the two. The kennel with loud dogs barking, creating a lot of stress, and an increased chance of coming home to a sick pet might be as bad as a road trip. I think my cats would be wondering what they did wrong to end up in a tiny cage with a lot of unhappy pets.

Have a great trip & good luck.

 

[bestdayever]

Thanks for the insight on kenneling. Having a friend stay over or a sitter is the first option. But I worry about them flaking and forgetting to feed her or something. So in some ways I thought a kennel would be more reliable. Each option has its downsides. I'll just have to see when the time comes.

 

[donutte]

I'm so sorry your baby is having these issues! I discovered my boys, especially Oscar, don't like road trips after the 1.5 hour drive into the city in rush hour traffic to get them neutered last August. I was sure Oscar would break his carrier open. Thankfully, it fit the "secure" part. And my vet is right next door - thank goodness!

I wouldn't re-home her if you can avoid that. I'm not sure it's something that you can always avoid though. As for not being able to do introductions, don't feel bad, we can't do proper ones either. When we adopted the kittens in July, and Penelopy in December, the "slow introduction phase" lasted about an hour in each case. With the kittens, I'd put them in the bathroom, and they got out via the space between the door and the floor! But it worked out.

If you do get another one... Buy a fishbone on a string toy or something similar. I will always recommend that. Oliver (one of my kittens) just hissed and hissed at Penelopy when we got her. Then I broke out that thing, they were all jumping and falling on each other. It was beautiful

 

[bestdayever]

Thanks for the advice on failed slow introductions! I will reconsider the 2nd kitten option. I would just need to figure out what kitten would be best for her with her personality. She's a center of attention kind of cat. Everything is about her

 

[donutte]

Thanks for the advice on failed slow introductions! I will reconsider the 2nd kitten option. I would just need to figure out what kitten would be best for her with her personality. She's a center of attention kind of cat. Everything is about her

That I get. I wasn't getting a 2nd kitten in my case (it was actually a 5th). I'd just lost my Lucky who was 16, and he would play with the kittens. After he died, they wanted to play with my other two older girls (almost 14 now). Well, they want nothing to do with them. So I had to look for one that would hopefully cause as little disruption as possible. I decided it had to be a girl cat (Oscar was already well on his way to being top cat before Lucky died), so didn't want any territorial issues because of that. I wanted someone that was an adult, because I can only handle so many kittens in a given period of time, lol. So I got a 3 year old girl. I really feel like we lucked out with her, she has such a laid back personality, and even if another cat hisses at her (Maple still does) she just rolls around on the ground. But she and the boys play around all the time.

 

[ellag]

imo, kitten to kitten introductions are the easiest especially if the new kid is younger. i've never done a long drawn out intro with kittens and after an initial hiss or 2 everyone was pals. i think all kittens should have a cat friend, to snuggle, play and groom and they are fun to watch! if your cat likes to be the center of attention i would say try to find a more laid back cat or one that's not clingy to you. but honestly, the way a kitten acts in the shelter and the way they act after being in your home for 3 days can be like night and day! if you really want to know their temperament find one from a rescue that's been in a foster home. i'm betting your kitty will be very happy to have a friend!