Separation Anxiety, But Only Towards Me

[SDerailed]

I have a 1.5 year old neutered Male I've had since he was 11 weeks old. He has other cats and dogs (he is bonded to one of the cats and one of the dogs) and my husband who isn't his favorite person, but he likes him well enough.
When I leave the house for work, go to the store, or even to go outside to work in the garden he turns into an emo teen. He sulks, sleeps in the back room, and refuses to eat, play, or any of his normal activities. When I return him he jumps on my shoulders, cries, and pretty much is clingy for several hours. Even if everyone else is at home.
Weve tried the comforting diffusers and leaving my clothing for him, but nothing seems to work.
He is also a really skittish boy when other animals/guests enter the home and is kind of dominating jerk to everyone. So I think he lacks self confidence. (His bonded brother is the exact opposite of him, so I dont think we did anything wrong, he was like that in the shelter as well)
Any tips to help my boy when I'm gone?
Pic is of me after taking a shower and being out of his sight for only 15 minutes.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I don't really have much to offer, but wanted to acknowledge your post so that it will be bumped up on the list and perhaps help other members to see it.

I am, however, going to take a shot at guessing that you are his primary care taker - i.e.; feed him, give him treats, clean his litter box, play with him? If that is the case, your husband could help your boy see that there is more than one care taker in the house by starting to help out with these activities. A little bit at first, and more as time goes by. He doesn't have to take over all the duties, just play a role in them with you.

Does he stop spending time with his cat and dog buddies just because you are gone? Where are they when you are gone?

Some cats just cling more to one specific human being, and that could be your case. As far as trying to get him to be more social-able with other human guests, you could try holding him in your lap when someone is around, just so he is "protected" by you in their presence. The other animals that come and go pose a bit of a bigger issue, because some cats (and dogs, for that matter) just aren't going to get along with 'strange' animals that come and go.

On the other side of the solution, you could record video/audio of you and play those at varying times during your absence. You would almost need to record his behavior while watching/listening to you, just to see if it has a positive or negative affect on him.

 

[SDerailed]

I regularly have my husband feed them to try to get them to bond with him more. But when Salem first came to our house my husband was working so much overtime he was hardly home. I blame that on Salem lack of bonding with him because his brother also didnt bond with him as much. I went on a business trip for a week. Out of desperation Salem snuggled with my husband after 5 days of waiting at the door for me. But that was the first and last time.
The dog and cat pals are home with him while I'm gone. Its so odd that I went way OUT of my way to make sure him and his brother were exposed to new people, places, etc so that they wouldnt be spooky. His brother loves meeting and playing with new people, and exploring new places. But Salem wants none of it. I think this is a prime nature vs. Nurture example in action.
I'll have to record my voice like you suggested. When I was gone I had my neighbor check in and facetime me, but Salem was hiding so he didnt get to have my voice. His brother, thought I was trapped in the phone and tried to get me out by biting it. Haha

 

[susanm9006]

So long as Salem is eating and using his litterbox appropriately, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. If he cuddles with your husband when you are traveling it isn’t that he dislikes him. Salem simply likes you better and there probably isn’t much that will change his opinion.

 

[SDerailed]

So long as Salem is eating and using his litterbox appropriately, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. If he cuddles with your husband when you are traveling it isn’t that he dislikes him. Salem simply likes you better and there probably isn’t much that will change his opinion.

Yeah. He has a bit of a litterbox problem when he get stressed. He is still eliminating enough, just inappropriately. Although we are making great strides in that department