Semi-feral cat we've taken in - what next?

[hexidecimal]

Update: I still can't stroke him - tried your advice but he really wasn't keen.

BUT

He sleeps on my legs every night and tends to follow me around the house. Subtly. He'll be in the same room as me, but he acts like it's a coincidence.

He'll also come running when called - but that's mainly because he gets food then.

We did have a scary moment when we thought we'd lost him - he walked out of the back door in to our garden and hid behind the shed then climbed the wall and sat on the neighbour's shed for a while. But his escape attempt lasted about a 20 minutes before he came back in and went to sleep on the bed.

We've opened the cat flap now (live in a terraced house so cats are confined to ours and neighbour's gardens. Neighbours are cat-friendly, we have checked) so he has garden access but he isn't fussed. 

He STILL hates my partner, but will be in the same room as him now/ will climb over him to get to his comfy spot on the bed when my partner is asleep.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Have you tried using a petting wand to get him used to touch? 

 

[catsnip404]

About the kicking, I know what you mean.  Nero has gotten to where he dashes back and forth in front of my legs rubbing on them, and so I have to practically do a solo slow waltz just to cross the room, and while I do my best, occasionally I accidentally bump him with a leg and he looks offended and hisses at me.  

Maybe try sitting cross-legged on the floor with your hands on your knees, and see if he rubs back and forth on your knees.  Let that happen for several sessions, then perhaps one time as he passes extend a finger so that he's rubbing his back against it rather than you moving it on him (like, maybe do it after his head has already passed by).  Then maybe a few fingers, etc.  That was kind of how I did it with Nero.  (With the exception of a few drive-by scratches when he was still in his cage.)

The petting wand that Shadows suggested might work well for this too.

 

[hexidecimal]

Update:

The stray cat has really come along in the last few weeks. He is allowed garden access now, but has decided he'd rather stay indoors.

We still can't pet him, but he follows me around the house and sleeps next to me every night. If I'm alone in the house he'll come and sit with me quite happily.

 

[Norachan]

That's good, definite progress there. One of my cats, Albert, took a full year before he would allow pets. Does he rub against your legs? Albert used to rub against me and I'd sneakily pet his back near the base of his tail. He still ducks away if he sees your hand coming, but if you can pet him while his head is turned away he enjoys it.

 

[hexidecimal]

No - he doesn't rub up against us yet. He is still very, very scared.

I can touch his nose and he'll sniff my hand, but that's it.

I've tried stroking his head after but he isn't keen. Don't want to make interactions stressful for him, so just going to carry on taking it slowly and see what happens. 

 

[hexidecimal]

UPDATE:

He is now an ultra-cuddly cat. One day it just clicked in his head and now all he wants is strokes and cuddles. I can still only really cuddle him on the bed, and he won't approach us - just sit and watch you with pleading eyes, but he LOVES being stroked now. Purrs ultra loudly and will grab your hands with his paws for more. Transformation is insane.

 

[zed xyzed]

what a wonderful update.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Such great news!!  THanks so much for the update.  All of your hard work and patience certainly paid off.

 

[foxxycat]

I love it when they get loving and allow us to cuddle