Seeking guidance on managing behavior problems.

[skysky]

My little boy is such a cutie I honestly never thought I would ever be so attached to a cat (being raised with only dogs) I've never cared or loved anything...or anyone lol for that matter as much as I love this litte sir. So let me begin by saying... He was abandoned by his mother after she was chased off by my dogs in the middle of summer in 110 degree weather. So he was hand raised by me. Which to my understanding is not really a good thing. Since being around other cats could have taught him boundaries.

I made a lot of mistakes when it came to boundaries and letting him know that my hands are not play toys.  I'm paying for that now. He understands "no" to an extent but it got to the point where I had to bring out the spray bottle. That helps a lot.  I'll talk on a situation so you can get a better understanding on what I'm talking about.

Sometimes we would be sitting on my bed and he'll get this weird look on his face and start to tilt his head like he was investigating my arms...I know now what that means, lol. Before I could understand these warning signs, he would tilt his head and let out a "pff" and his ears would lower a bit and he would then bite into my arm and wrap his arms around my arm to get a firm grip. If I would get up and say "NO" he would do that "pff" noise again and tilt his head back and go at my arm even harder.  After about a week of this I brought in the spray bottle. Which I hate doing it because he actually likes water, but being randomly sprayed with water isn't really so pleasant :/ ..... so I really don't want to scare him away from something he enjoys. Is there something else that I could do? I heard I could use a jar of pennies or something, but I have dogs (that surprisingly get along great with my Skylar hehe 

) and I don't want to scare the crap out of them while trying to manage the kitty. Hes about 9 months old and neutered.

Am I going about this the right way? And is this just a faze that he will eventually grow out of?  

Thank you in advanced!! And sorry for the long thread 

 

 

[mservant]

Hi there.  Your cat's expression sounds VERY familiar to me, it's the look I see in Mouse's face and posture when he's about to launch at my arm, or my head.  It doesn't happen so often now but it does still happen.  It is not something your cat will grow out of but it is something you can a) divert him from and b) teach him is not acceptable to do to a human.  There are a few articles here on TCS that might help you so I am adding them here as a link.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/playtime-aggression

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cat-aggression-toward-people

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cats-and-discipline-dont-mix

From what you describe I do not think your cat is trying to be aggressive towards you as much as trying to invite you to play with him in the same way he would with another cat.  He needs to learn how to invite you to play or give him attention without the 'big launch', and you need to learn other ways to respond to him other than using a spray bottle or other things that frighten him or deter him from interacting with you - unless you want him not to interact with you.

When you see him go in to his leap position and get this excited expression on his face you need to give him a consistent response that tells him he should not 'attack'.  You do need to stand still if you don't want him to chase you and get even more excited until you have a more established means of communicating with him - in fact altering this situation in to a chase - hide and seek alternating who does the chasing, can be a positive way of engaging with the play invitation while avoiding the attack but he needs to learn not to attack first of all or you will simply be attacked as soon as he catches up with you....  

Ideally what you want to do is divert as soon as you see him going in to this stance, and invite him in to a different sort of physically active play, with a toy between you and him!  If he persists in staying in the attack stance and you think he is about to leap at you: Stand or sit still, look firm and confident, and give him a firm verbal 'NO'.  If he launches in to the attack remain still, and push very slightly in towards him then nothing.  If he is biting and scratching and breaking skin follow the routine to carefully prize him off, but otherwise wait until he is bored and removes himself.  Once he is calmed down a bit, but NOT immediately after he is separated from you, invite him in to a different sort of play like you could have done if you had seen him in time to avert the play attack before it happened.

Every time he attacks in a play session you stop play until he calms down, and restart shortly after he settles again - maybe 30 seconds, maybe a couple of minutes.  It depends how long it takes for him to look less aroused.

If you use the scaring techniques you run the risk of causing your cat to become more anxious, and also more nervous around you.  He will become less inclined to initiate play with you, and if you want to play and be approached for fun or cuddles with your cat this would be a very sad outcome for both of you.  Please look at the Cats and Discipline Don't Mix article as there are many more positive ways to adapt your cat's behaviour without the same risks to your relationship which at the moment sounds very positive and great fun.