Scaredy Kitten

[nocturnal-catz]

I recently adopted a 6 month old kitten, Nyx. Since coming home she has bonded with my older cat as well as my terrier. She usually sleeps curled against my side under the covers each night, and does seek me out for attention. However, whenever you walk towards/past her she runs terrified. This is also true if you try to touch her without her first coming to you. I'm on disability and spend most of the days home with them and all she does is dart back and forth trying to avoid me. I knew she was shy when I adopted her because she didn't like being handled and sat at the rescue for months without anyone looking at her. I also know since she was already shy, that would explain it. How can she be purring rubbing herself all over me, or sleep cuddled and completely relaxed at my side but still be so terrified the rest of the time? I have made it a priority to not force my attention onto her and let her do her own thing because I don't want to stress her and make her stop coming to me all together. Is it just me or is her behavior a little odd?

 

[mservant]

Little Nyx sounds very sweet, I am sorry she seems anxious and frightened when you approach or pass her.  In many ways it sounds like she has settled quickly, and your household has done well to adjust to each other as you describe.

Do you know anything about Nyx before she came to you?  How long she had been at the shelter?  What her life was like before she arrived at the shelter and anything that might have happened to her?

Some cats are more timid than others, and if something has happened to them before which they associate things with: like a person walking towards them or a person moving so they can't see them any more, it can often make them anxious or frightened.  The more you know about what Nyx's life was like before she arrived with you, including before the shelter, it will help you understand her behaviour and if there may be some way of reassuring her and reducing her anxieties.  As it is, what you are doing in noticing what seems to trigger her anxiety and giving her time and space is a sensible approach.

It may be that Nyx did not have a lot of social contact with people or much handling, or it could be that what she did experience wasn't nice or wasn't predictable. Maybe something as simple as someone having trodden on her and hurt her without meaning to when she was little. However, if she has enough time, space and consistent safety where she isn't hurt there is a good chance she will slowly start to feel calm and less threatened when you are moving about.  Every cat has their own personality but they can also develop in many ways, learning from their experiences just like we do as people. It sounds as if she enjoys your company and the close contact with you which is very promising as she must already trust you to a high degree.  You don't say how long Nyx has been with you but it doesn't sound like it has been very long - it could just be that she is still settling in and getting used to everything happening in your home, especially if being in a home is quite unfamiliar to her too.  

It might be worth thinking whether it makes any difference how quickly or slowly you are moving, if you are looking at her or not, or if there is a particular noise that she might react to?  Anything that might be different and affects how she reacts.

If you feel she is anxious for most of the day and finds it hard to settle it might be worth investing in Feliway which helps calm and reassure cats.  It is expensive but can make a big difference when settling kittens and cats in to a new home.  There are some other remedies that people on the site use but I am not familiar with them.  It is worth looking around some of the threads in this behaviour forum to see what other people have used. 

 

[nocturnal-catz]

Thanks for the reply!

I've had Nyx about 3 weeks, which I know hasn't been that long, its just that her back and forth behavior confuses me. From what I understand, she was a feral kitten (clipped ear and all) and brought in right after she was weaned, then adopted and returned. I don't understand why anyone would return her, she's shy but sweet and has perfect behavior, always uses the litter box. As long as you don't try to engage in contact with her she seems like a very happy girl... plays with her toys and my other cat, lounges in the window with the sunshine on her and enjoys curling up on the couch. But when I'm walking around she scurries about to avoid me even if I'm doing something unrelated. I looked up those feliway's and will be getting 2 (one for my bedroom and the other for the living room) right after the first of the year and see how they work. From what I understand, her having a traumatic start in life can very well mean she could always be shy, which doesn't bother me, I just want her to be comfortable and happy. But its only been a little while so we shall see. I did just get her to eat a decent amount of food.

 

[betsygee]

We adopted a kitty who was quite shy.  He, too, sat in the shelter without getting taken, maybe because he was too shy to be very "sellable".  I don't know why, but I'm glad nobody else took him.  He's turned out to be the sweetest little guy in the world.  It took time, though.  He got along with our other cats and was so well behaved, but was seriously afraid of everything that moved.  

He did the same as your Nyx--he could be very affectionate in some ways but holy cow, the first time I tried to give him a nose kiss (which I love to do to my kitties), I thought he was going to have a heart attack from fright!  We've had him about 3-1/2 years and just now I can finally give him little kissies without him freaking out (and sometimes he still does).  

It seems like a great start that she snuggles with you at night and gets along with the other animals.  Hopefully with time she'll get more confident and feel safe enough to stay put when you come around.  I think MServant is spot on--time, space and consistent safety. 

 

[lamiatron]

omg. i'm experiencing the same with my Jet (3mo. old female fixed & also pictured with me in my avatar/display pic). I've had her for a little over a month already, and she will still dart under the bed when I try to approach her. She was a stray that i adopted from my local shelter. Its just her behavior. She was living in the streets and she's afraid of humans. She will come to me purring up a storm (sometimes she sounds like a miniature lawn mower) and want pets. Sometimes she'll come up to me and meow and want me to pick her up. Sometimes she doesn't want me to touch her and she has hissed at me quite a few times.

Try to pet her while she's eating. It helps to create a bond between you and kitty. She will feel like "okay this person is more than just a giant weird looking cat who brings me food, it brings me love too". I've been doing that for the past couple weeks with Jet. Every time I feed Jet or give her a treat I pet her and Praise her, and her behavior towards me as improved A LOT. yesterday i came home and she ran to the door and started to rub up against my legs which she NEVER did. It takes time and patience, but don't give up.

Nyx was a former feral kitty, that's why she feels more comfortable with your other animals in the house, as opposed to you. Some times she will come to you for love, but it doesn't last long. Just be patient and let her come around on her own. She will. She sounds like a good kitty

 

[lokimonster]

You probably just need to give her time. I have a kitten who was just like that when I got her. She would run if I came just walking casually along, and she still doesn't like being pet all the time if she doesn't come to you first. I've had her for about 6 months now, and every day she is getting more and more used to me.

I always let her smell my hand first before I try to pet her, so that way she knows who I am and I leave it up to her to decide where to go next. Usually she'll rub her face all over my hand and then I know its ok to give her loves. Sometimes she'll back off and when she does I just leave her alone and let her do her thing. It took a while for her to stop being so skittish, but she has grown out of it a lot. She doesn't run and hide anymore when we have house guests, and she even comes up to check them out. Sometimes she'll even let me pick her up without struggling to get away, but it's a huge trust thing.

It just takes time and patience. Take it slow with her and she'll warm up to you in no time.