Scared 6 month old kittens

[sarah430]

I wanted to add that before the vet visit, despite not wanting to be petted or picked up, they displayed more behavior that showed to me they were getting more comfortable.  Even Link, the more scared one would flop down casually on his side, but just under the couch.   And a few times I took a nap on the couch and would wake up to Navi sitting close to me.  So I think they have it in them to be more sociable.  They really are very sweet --- they never seem angry and the few times Link has hissed was never in an aggressive way.  They've just been through a lot of transitions lately and once Navi is recovered from her spay and they have a routine I'm optimistic they'll come around.

 

[sarah430]

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• sarah430
• Mar 8, 2017

Here's a recent picture of my kitties - Link, the boy, is by the window and Navi, the girl, is curled up on the couch.  Link is still very cautious around us and I haven't tried to pet him.  Navi will let us pet her when she's in that spot on the couch.  She had her spay last week and is recovering very well.  But we had to give her some liquid pain medication with a syringe for a few days.  Once we caught her she wouldn't resist and was very docile.  But was also absolutely terrified to be held. I'm glad that's over. Yesterday we opened  the bedroom door and  they now have free reign in the house.  They are having fun exploring but still go back often to their  bedroom safety zone .  We will continue to interact with them in a non-threatening way.  I'm open to any more advice anyone might have! 

 

[Primula]

I don't think you need any advice right now. I think you are doing everything perfectly. They are definitely happy cats judging by the latest photo.

 

[sarah430]

I don't think you need any advice right now. I think you are doing everything perfectly. They are definitely happy cats judging by the latest photo.

Thank you.  And yes, they do seem very happy.  That's the important thing, right?   And being healthy, which they are too.   Our cat who died, was incredibly social and loved to be held and liked to be close.  Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into with these kitties that are so skittish.  But I feel like it was my calling to give them a good home.  And they really are great kitties - very sweet with fun, unique personalities.  I really do love them.

 

[Primula]

Thank you.  And yes, they do seem very happy.  That's the important thing, right?   And being healthy, which they are too.   Our cat who died, was incredibly social and loved to be held and liked to be close.  Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into with these kitties that are so skittish.  But I feel like it was my calling to give them a good home.  And they really are great kitties - very sweet with fun, unique personalities.  I really do love them. :heart4:

That's right. Because if not you, who would have taken them on. I am disappointed a little that my Looby Loo has never set on my lap and never will, but she is happy and loves me in her own sweet nutty way.

 

[Kieka]

Don't forget that if you do want to pet them a little go from behind. Cats don't like hands coming towards their face.

I would have to disagree with the petting from behind comment but agree with hands coming towards somewhat. Petting from behind with a skittish cat is likely to startle them even worse and make them less likely to want petting. At least in my experience. 

My Rocket is a former feral and very much like Navi and Link in behavior (a little deja vu really reading this about behaviors). If you don't let Rocket see your hand as you go in to pet she will startle and run. Rocket does best when you just put a hand out and let her come to you for petting. She will let me pet her belly and will sit on my lap. Most of my family can pet her if they are sitting down and put out a hand for her.  Strangers can't even see her most of the time. My Link doesn't like any petting unless he asks for it and petting him from behind (or anywhere other than his head) will likely earn you a bite or thump. Nightfury loves cuddles and every pet, hold or snuggle he can get but he also is by someone touching or picking him up without him being aware of it coming. None of mine have a problem with a hand in their face and seem to love the face scratching the best but they all do have problems with coming up behind them to pet. 

Unless you meant, pet starting at the neck, not the head. But that also doesn't apply to my personal experiences as I have had two cats who only want their heads pet. 

 

[Kieka]

Here's a recent picture of my kitties - Link, the boy, is by the window and Navi, the girl, is curled up on the couch.  Link is still very cautious around us and I haven't tried to pet him.  Navi will let us pet her when she's in that spot on the couch.  She had her spay last week and is recovering very well.  But we had to give her some liquid pain medication with a syringe for a few days.  Once we caught her she wouldn't resist and was very docile.  But was also absolutely terrified to be held. I'm glad that's over. Yesterday we opened  the bedroom door and  they now have free reign in the house.  They are having fun exploring but still go back often to their  bedroom safety zone .  We will continue to interact with them in a non-threatening way.  I'm open to any more advice anyone might have! 

I have one who is terrified of being held too. When I have to give her medicines alone I usually will trap her between my legs while I am crouched above her. She can't move, isn't actually off the floor and I have access to give her medicine. If there are more people at home then we just hold her and get it over with quickly. Catching her is also a challenge but I can usually get her by offering her treats and grabbing her while distracted. That though only works if you give treats on a semi-regular basis so it isn't tied only to catching moments. 

Glad to hear they are both doing well and the spay went good. I have had Rocket for almost 2 years and she is finally relaxed enough that little things don't startle her and she can handle the occasional visitor. She was and is very much like what you describe Navi and Link as. There isn't much more to tell you unless there are specific questions. Most cats who are easily startled do well with a steady home and routine. It gives them a sense of balance and stability. The safety zone is a good thing for them and you probably want to keep them in that safety zone if you have guests over (more than just 1 or 2 people or someone with kids) just so they keep low stress levels. 

 

[sarah430]

That is very cool you have a Link too!  Thank you for sharing your experience.  I discovered last night that Link is less apt to run away if I don't look directly at him.  I came home to him sitting on the edge of the couch.  Generally he would have jumped off and gone under as I approached. But instead I sort of walked in sideways with my head turned and he stayed put.  Baby steps!

 

[Kieka]

 
That is very cool you have a Link too!  Thank you for sharing your experience.  I discovered last night that Link is less apt to run away if I don't look directly at him.  I came home to him sitting on the edge of the couch.  Generally he would have jumped off and gone under as I approached. But instead I sort of walked in sideways with my head turned and he stayed put.  Baby steps!

Rocket does that too. It has become second nature not to look at her when approaching to prevent her from running away, sorry I forgot to mention it. She is getting better though and I have been making an effort in the last few months to look at her when she is in the room so she is more comfortable with it. Its taken time but with me she doesn't shy away with a look. My Mom is about 50-50 on looking at her and my Dad definitely can't look at her. My parents are retired and disappear for a month or more at a time; every time my Mom comes back she jokes that she has to start at square one with Rocket. 

 

[Primula]

my Dad definitely can't look at her.

LOL. My Looby Loo is very scared of my husband, for absolutely no reason. When she sees him, she immediately scuttles away.

 

[Kieka]

LOL. My Looby Loo is very scared of my husband, for absolutely no reason. When she sees him, she immediately scuttles away.

Rocket isn't scared of my Dad. She gives off more of an impression of "changed my mind, going this way instead" when it comes to my Dad looking at her.  Although she is getting more interested in approaching him or him approaching her. Door ways though get the "dash through so they don't kill her reaction". 

She is a very neutral or flat cat most of the time. It's almost like she just shuts down her emotions or hides them unless she knows the person or is excited. For example, this morning she was outside with the boys but it was close to time for me to leave for work. She doesn't like being outside when no one is home so she was sitting quietly on the back step. Anyone looking at her would just think she was enjoying the view and meditating. The second she heard me near the door she was antsy, reaching for the door knob and anxious to get in and she slipped through as soon as it was open just enough. She tends to be very patient and wait quietly for things until she sees signs of movement and then she is excited and bouncy. She does the same thing when she is cautious about something new; she outwardly looks calm and collect quietly watching it until she decides what to do or how to act. Not to say she doesn't have the moments of immediate reaction; she does when it matters or she is really scared or startled. I am having trouble explaining it clearly but I think that is the best I can do. I think is is something from her feral kitten days lending her to be more reserved but she was more outwardly scared for a while and seems to have settled in the last year. 

Might just be because I am used to the boys that she is somewhat flat. Nightfury is a human child at times and Link is so expressive and has a huge personality (my vet said he is probably the most expressive cat she has run into in her 20+ years in the field. Very clear communication with humans and there is rarely a doubt on his mood). 

 

[sarah430]

I thought I would post an update on my kitties. They've come a long way! I'm still marveling every day as I learn something new about their personalities. They are still skittish in a lot of ways - they are easily scared if something startles them and they don't let me husband (who hasn't spent as much time with them) too close to them. But they are light years more comfortable with us and they are very attached to me. They're so curious and they follow me all around the house.

Neither of them wants to be picked up and don't come to sit in our laps. But they both crave affection in their own ways. Navi especially likes the head rubs. If I'm laying on the couch she'll come over between me and the back of the couch. I'll rub her head and scratch behind her ears and she'll push into my hand so hard that she does a somersault towards me.

Link, who was much more scared, actually seems to like petting and affection more than Navi, which I wouldn't have predicted in February. A month or so ago, as soon as he started to get more comfortable he began to swat and bite at me. Sometimes with claws and sometimes not. He and Navi play very roughly (but are also very affectionate with each other) and I don't think he understood that clawing and biting isn't okay. He wasn't really aggressive about it. Nevertheless I made sure to give him more space. But one day he came up to me and then turned away and sort of sashayed away. I reached down and gave him a long pet along his back and he loved it! I can see now that he was wanting that but I hadn't really read his signals correctly. His swatting was sort of like a little boy hitting a little girl he likes to get her attention. Now he'll flop right down in front of me and I pet him from his head to his tail and he scoots along the floor purring like he's in ecstasy. It's so cute! He also lets me pick him up as I often have to redirect him back to his food as Navi will often finish quicker and will go after his if he walks away. He'll let me pick him up under his belly and hold him 1-2 feet off the floor. He's very docile as I carry him like that over to his bowl. Any higher and he gets nervous. He still has a tendency to swat and bite if I'm not careful but is getting better with firm, yet gentle reminders. He's also started to let me rub his tummy too!

 

[madzoya]

He will be Momma's boy in no time! The picking up thing really varies from cat to cat.

Bruce hated it when he came to us in January, at 7 months old. I think because at the shelter were he grew up, they didn't pick them up much (too many cats).

Then he started tolerating it, in small doses. I also starting picking up to redirect, or to put him down of something he wasn't suposed to be on.

Then I progressed to carry him from one room to the other. And now I can trully hold him for about 45 seconds (enough to smother him with kisses). He still pretends not to like it, but if I don't do it when I get home, he won't leave me alone.

Although he didn't "like" laps in the beggining, now he'll sleep on mine every now and then. And he loves bites and swats me all the time!

 

[sarah430]

He will be Momma's boy in no time! The picking up thing really varies from cat to cat.

Bruce hated it when he came to us in January, at 7 months old. I think because at the shelter were he grew up, they didn't pick them up much (too many cats).

Then he started tolerating it, in small doses. I also starting picking up to redirect, or to put him down of something he wasn't suposed to be on.

Then I progressed to carry him from one room to the other. And now I can trully hold him for about 45 seconds (enough to smother him with kisses). He still pretends not to like it, but if I don't do it when I get home, he won't leave me alone.

Although he didn't "like" laps in the beggining, now he'll sleep on mine every now and then. And he loves bites and swats me all the time!

Bruce and Link sound a lot alike! And yes, he's well on his way to being a Momma's boy. I actually think he was a little jealous of us petting Navi more because she was less timid and more receptive, it seemed. So fun to experience their emerging personalities! Navi almost jumped up on my lap last night, but she caught herself as if thinking..."oh wait, I'm supposed to be too scared to do that." lol So they are starting to become more affectionate despite themselves.