Swanie, you were my heart, my soul mate, my boy. How am I going to live without you? I see memories everywhere I look, Swanie meeting me at the door when I come home, Swanie getting on my computer table, Swanie climbing on my lap, Swanie purring, always purring. I love you so much, and I failed you. I’ll never forgive myself for that.
The day we met Swanie in December 2005 was kismet. I had submitted an application to a local rescue and they called on a Saturday afternoon with approval. They wanted us to come right then and look at their cats, but it was getting late and it was nearly an hour’s drive one way. Gary didn’t want to go then, but they said they weren’t open during the week, and the adoption counselor talked him into it. We had no intention of getting cats that day, just wanted to go “window shop.” We explained that we were looking hopefully for an already bonded pair, because we wanted two. They had a few like that, but none that struck our fancy. Most of the cats were in cages, so we were walking around the room with the adoption counselor telling us a little something about each cat. We got around one loop to the other side of the room, and while she was trying to show us one cat, there was this little tuxedo guy climbing up the side of his cage and trying hard to get our attention. It worked. I immediately said what about this one? Turns out he had actually come to the shelter (we didn’t even think to ask how he got there) with his “great friend” Bunco. Unfortunately, Bunco had already been adopted (who on earth would separate “great friends”??). Swanie sold himself to us very quickly, but we wanted to find another cat. After much running around the shelter (it was getting close to closing), the counselor said “what about Cynthia?” Cynthia was a sweet, beautiful dilute calico who was in her bed at the back of her cage, and therefore overlooked. We decided she would do, so we bought one carrier, borrowed another one, and came home with two wonder cats.
Swanie took to our house and wanted to explore every inch of it right away, where Cynthia was more reserved and preferred to hide. No matter, once she got used to things and to Swanie they became the best of friends, almost always found together. We were told Swanie was between 1-2 and wouldn’t grow anymore. He was a little guy, but solid body type. One day I sent a picture of him to my sister and she responded “that cat is huge!” I looked over at him, and holy mackerel she was right. I didn’t even notice it, but he must have at least doubled in size. More of him to love.
I couldn’t have asked for two more perfect, loving, awesome kitties. Swanie quickly because my lap cat. Both of them slept on the bed with us (usually on us), Cynthia was Gary’s “girlfriend” and Swanie was my boy. I always told him he was my boy and would always be my boy.
In 2014 we lost Cynthia to cancer. With chemo and good vets we had her for another 22 months before ultimately losing her. That was very hard for us, and for Swanie. We did get another cat to be a friend for him (Darcy sadly passed quickly from FIP, but Cricket is still with us), because he was very social and liked having another cat to hang around with.
This year we guess he was probably about 13, and everything seemed to be going well. Sure, he had slowed down some but we put that down to just getting older and overweight. His last wellness check went pretty well, but the vet told us he had very early stages kidney disease, but nothing to be concerned about yet. On Oct 5, around 7:00, Gary told me that Swanie had been in the litter box trying to poop but only a little bit came out. From then until morning he must have been in the box a dozen times. I was concerned, so I called the vet, who told me I should take him to Veterinary Special Hospital (VSH) because they had more resources than she did at her office. VSH is the place that took care of Cindy when she had the cancer. So we took him up there, they X-rayed his colon and took a blood test. The Dr. told us that she didn’t see an obstruction and just saw a lot of gas. We were relieved. But in the meantime he came down with a URI and wasn’t eating. We took him to our regular vet and she prescribed an antibiotic, and also told us she heard a heart murmur, which was new. Then she had a look at the blood test results, and became concerned because the protein level was high. She sent off two tests, one for heart disease and one for some other thing that if that was high would indicate cancer. Both of them came back positive, so my little guy had not only heart disease but cancer, probably lymphoma.
I could not give him the pills I tried, but it was too stressful for him. So we were taking him back to the vet to get his pills. Since he wasn’t eating, they started syringe feeding him. One day, he resisted the feeding. At that point, the technician consulted with the vet, and they arranged for Swanie to go to VSH on an emergency basis, and then be transferred to an internal medicine specialist because he needed to have an ultrasound. I thought they were just going to do an ultrasound and then send him home, but they actually admitted him and put him in isolation because of the URI. So when we went to visit him that night, we could only look at him through the glass. I hated that! That was Wednesday, Oct. 10. We went back on Thursday and they said he was out of Iso and we could see him. They brought him back to us and he just didn’t look right. He was having a hard time holding his head up. The internal medicine specialist was talking to us about possible treatments and I finally said, is he drugged? Why is he like this? She took a closer look and whisked him away. In a bit, she came back in and said he was in heart failure and they had him in oxygen. Actually, there was a lot more than that, but it’s all a blur and not really relevant anyway. We almost made the decision right then to let him go, but wanted to see him one last time. When we looked at him in the oxygen, he looked more alert, so we told them to go ahead and try to stabilize him. We had to give him one last chance. I told him I loved him and told him that he should decide what he wanted, and then we went home.
We got one call from the hospital to ask if they could start some kind of drip and I said yes. But sadly, around 5:30 AM Friday morning, October 12, we got the call that he was failing and might be gone by the time we got there. We hurried as fast as we could, fortunately not much traffic that time of the morning, and got there in time to say goodbye to him, and then to authorize the euthanasia.
It all happened so fast, and I truly feel that VSH helped hasten his death because they admitted giving him fluids, which very probably pushed him into the heart failure. I know logically that it was probably for the best because he had to be in pain at that point and it would only get worse, and they were saying he would probably need a feeding tube (which he wouldn’t have tolerated), but I just wanted a few more days or weeks or months with my little guy at home. I feel like he got cheated out of it, and I don’t know how I will ever get over this.
The day we met Swanie in December 2005 was kismet. I had submitted an application to a local rescue and they called on a Saturday afternoon with approval. They wanted us to come right then and look at their cats, but it was getting late and it was nearly an hour’s drive one way. Gary didn’t want to go then, but they said they weren’t open during the week, and the adoption counselor talked him into it. We had no intention of getting cats that day, just wanted to go “window shop.” We explained that we were looking hopefully for an already bonded pair, because we wanted two. They had a few like that, but none that struck our fancy. Most of the cats were in cages, so we were walking around the room with the adoption counselor telling us a little something about each cat. We got around one loop to the other side of the room, and while she was trying to show us one cat, there was this little tuxedo guy climbing up the side of his cage and trying hard to get our attention. It worked. I immediately said what about this one? Turns out he had actually come to the shelter (we didn’t even think to ask how he got there) with his “great friend” Bunco. Unfortunately, Bunco had already been adopted (who on earth would separate “great friends”??). Swanie sold himself to us very quickly, but we wanted to find another cat. After much running around the shelter (it was getting close to closing), the counselor said “what about Cynthia?” Cynthia was a sweet, beautiful dilute calico who was in her bed at the back of her cage, and therefore overlooked. We decided she would do, so we bought one carrier, borrowed another one, and came home with two wonder cats.
Swanie took to our house and wanted to explore every inch of it right away, where Cynthia was more reserved and preferred to hide. No matter, once she got used to things and to Swanie they became the best of friends, almost always found together. We were told Swanie was between 1-2 and wouldn’t grow anymore. He was a little guy, but solid body type. One day I sent a picture of him to my sister and she responded “that cat is huge!” I looked over at him, and holy mackerel she was right. I didn’t even notice it, but he must have at least doubled in size. More of him to love.
I couldn’t have asked for two more perfect, loving, awesome kitties. Swanie quickly because my lap cat. Both of them slept on the bed with us (usually on us), Cynthia was Gary’s “girlfriend” and Swanie was my boy. I always told him he was my boy and would always be my boy.
In 2014 we lost Cynthia to cancer. With chemo and good vets we had her for another 22 months before ultimately losing her. That was very hard for us, and for Swanie. We did get another cat to be a friend for him (Darcy sadly passed quickly from FIP, but Cricket is still with us), because he was very social and liked having another cat to hang around with.
This year we guess he was probably about 13, and everything seemed to be going well. Sure, he had slowed down some but we put that down to just getting older and overweight. His last wellness check went pretty well, but the vet told us he had very early stages kidney disease, but nothing to be concerned about yet. On Oct 5, around 7:00, Gary told me that Swanie had been in the litter box trying to poop but only a little bit came out. From then until morning he must have been in the box a dozen times. I was concerned, so I called the vet, who told me I should take him to Veterinary Special Hospital (VSH) because they had more resources than she did at her office. VSH is the place that took care of Cindy when she had the cancer. So we took him up there, they X-rayed his colon and took a blood test. The Dr. told us that she didn’t see an obstruction and just saw a lot of gas. We were relieved. But in the meantime he came down with a URI and wasn’t eating. We took him to our regular vet and she prescribed an antibiotic, and also told us she heard a heart murmur, which was new. Then she had a look at the blood test results, and became concerned because the protein level was high. She sent off two tests, one for heart disease and one for some other thing that if that was high would indicate cancer. Both of them came back positive, so my little guy had not only heart disease but cancer, probably lymphoma.
I could not give him the pills I tried, but it was too stressful for him. So we were taking him back to the vet to get his pills. Since he wasn’t eating, they started syringe feeding him. One day, he resisted the feeding. At that point, the technician consulted with the vet, and they arranged for Swanie to go to VSH on an emergency basis, and then be transferred to an internal medicine specialist because he needed to have an ultrasound. I thought they were just going to do an ultrasound and then send him home, but they actually admitted him and put him in isolation because of the URI. So when we went to visit him that night, we could only look at him through the glass. I hated that! That was Wednesday, Oct. 10. We went back on Thursday and they said he was out of Iso and we could see him. They brought him back to us and he just didn’t look right. He was having a hard time holding his head up. The internal medicine specialist was talking to us about possible treatments and I finally said, is he drugged? Why is he like this? She took a closer look and whisked him away. In a bit, she came back in and said he was in heart failure and they had him in oxygen. Actually, there was a lot more than that, but it’s all a blur and not really relevant anyway. We almost made the decision right then to let him go, but wanted to see him one last time. When we looked at him in the oxygen, he looked more alert, so we told them to go ahead and try to stabilize him. We had to give him one last chance. I told him I loved him and told him that he should decide what he wanted, and then we went home.
We got one call from the hospital to ask if they could start some kind of drip and I said yes. But sadly, around 5:30 AM Friday morning, October 12, we got the call that he was failing and might be gone by the time we got there. We hurried as fast as we could, fortunately not much traffic that time of the morning, and got there in time to say goodbye to him, and then to authorize the euthanasia.
It all happened so fast, and I truly feel that VSH helped hasten his death because they admitted giving him fluids, which very probably pushed him into the heart failure. I know logically that it was probably for the best because he had to be in pain at that point and it would only get worse, and they were saying he would probably need a feeding tube (which he wouldn’t have tolerated), but I just wanted a few more days or weeks or months with my little guy at home. I feel like he got cheated out of it, and I don’t know how I will ever get over this.
