Resident Cat and Kitten not getting along...and now there's spraying

[downton ali]

Hi All, I welcomed a kitten into my home and thought he would be a great buddy to my 3 and a half year old cat. I did the introduction all wrong. Now I know.

There was slow but decent progress, until a few weeks in. My big guy chased the kitten, and for the first time he feared him- so much so that he left poop nuggets all over. Poor guy.

It's been mostly a game of cat and mouse ever since. A lot of staring, stalking, chasing and sometimes fur flying with me running a lot of interference. There are times when there's a peace for a couple of hours.

I've tried a cat behaviorist who recommended playtime sessions twice a day with each cat (separately), multiple litter boxes. I have a tall 5' cat tree and a window perch. I would let them meet and provide high value treats to create positive associations and time spent togethert, but as soon it’s over they’re back to their usual behavior.

My big guy is stressed out, acting like a bully, and has adopted a new behavior: spraying all over my house 3 -5 times a week! The little guy is scared and hangs out on my shoulder or hides in one of my sinks. I keep them separated much of the time or I'll never get a thing done, but this is no way for them to live.

This has been going on for 5 months. I'm at my wits end and don’t know what else to do. My family is telling me to rehome one or the other, but I’ve made a commitment to each. I'm also about to take my first weekend trips away, and I'm concerned about the situation. Who in the world is going to care for separated cats?!

I think my big guy’s stress is compounded by the fact that we moved several months before I got the kitten. There is a walking path by my condo and people walk their dogs outside my door. I have a neighbor who lets his cat outside. I can see the footprints in the snow on my patio. He smells it all.

My big guy is 3 and was a singleton. The little guy is now 7 months; he was found alone. Both are neutered.

Do I hire another cat behaviorist or a veterinary behaviorist? I’m not sure the former helped, and the latter is expensive.

Any input is welcome. Thank you!

 

[ArtNJ]

Have you backed up and tried a real introduction process? How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles We also have a guide specifically titled "How to fix an unsuccessful introduction" but I don't link that one because the upshot of it is to backup and do a proper process (which is good advice but can be said in one sentence!) If a proper process hasn't been done, the behaviorist was an idiot but its not too late! Also, is the older cat spayed/neutered?

Don't have enough information to say what options are left, but I strongly disagree that rehoming a kitten is some great sin. A young kitten can easily be rehomed somewhere without all the stress -- which sometimes is just better for everyone, no? Again, not saying thats what I'm recommending, don't have enough facts -- just that I don't think its a violation of a commitment, because the commitment was to do what was best for the kitten -- which sometimes is to return it. Not to mention the commitment to the older cat.

 

[downton ali]

No. The behaviorist didn't think it was necessary as there were some signs of hope: the big guy licking the little guy's head, the little guy playing with the big guy's tail, some slow blinking by each though not at the same time. She thought if we reduced big guy's stress, it would help.

They are both neutered.

My big guy lived with me and a family member for his first few years. He got along with one of her cats, loved her dog. But, he's always been a fearful, growly guy. He's considered "fractious" by the vet and requires some sedation to be examined. I wonder whether he'd be happier going back to her house, but it would break my heart. And I don't want to boot him to keep the little guy.

I definitely see signs of each trying to make progress with the other, but they seem to be "talking past" each other. Lately, it feels like a hostage situation for all of us!

Thank you for your input. I'll attach pics of each

 

[downton ali]

The tabby is Luigi and the black and white is baby Enzo

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, its certainly possible the behaviorist is correct. I think introductions help more with "stranger danger" than "I don't want to be jumped on". That said, your 5 months into a miserable situation, why wouldn't you try a reintroduction process?

As far as what to do, I think people overcomplicate it. They are used to each others scent, so we don't need to do scent swapping. Trying to build positive experiences doesn't really work when cats are stressed, so skip the feeing or giving treats on opposite sides of a door/gate. So whats left? Separate them with a gate, and let the older one get used to seeing the kitten and nothing bad happening. Try that for a few weeks.

The other thing you should do is talk to your vet about medication for the older cat, to help when you put them back together. The dogs and especialy outside cats are definitely things that trigger some cats in a major way and could certainly be complicating factors. You can try keeping the shades down (or window decals -- there are some nice ones) to see if that helps, and the medication might help with reactions to the outside stressors as well.

Personally, I'd rehome if this doesn't work, because the kitten may not calm down enough to make a difference for a year or more if your unlucky. And thats a long time to have your older cat living in terror and pooping and spraying.

Usually I'm a huge proponent of letting cats work through stuff on their own. But it doesn't always work, and I think you've got a clear failure due to the older cat's stress level being through the roof.

 

[downton ali]

I'm happy to do a reintroduction and get a gate.

Whoops! I wasn't clear. The big guy is the aggressor and the sprayer. The little guy is the one who runs away and would leave poop nuggets behind.

The vet got back to me and supplied a prescription. I'll re-read the link and try a reintroduction. Thank you.