Try to kind of knead cat's belly when cat is standing and asking for pets, be very very gentle with it, that is how one of mine has learned to be on lap more than two seconds, he purrs and kneads with his paws and I knead his side and belly in same rhythm as he does, he likes that very much and I have found out that others seem to like that kind of petting a lot and some accept that better than normal petting.
Of course bending over the cat is very scary for cat, so usually when teaching to being picked up it might be good to try being on your knees and while petting and rubbing/kneading her sides gently lift her up from underside, between front legs, just with single hand using palm, only inch off from ground and then let her back down and continue petting like if nothing had happened.
Having two hands surround her body might be something scary, so at later stage try to get one hand under her front section, from front side and kind of scoop her hind legs on your other hand's palm and lift up, just one fluid motion.
All of my cats seem to like a lot when I rub their head with my chin, so maybe try such after you can pick her up, it might be something new nice thing which she might associate to being picked up so that way she would learn quicker to tolerate handling.
One of the difficult things is to keep back straight and not to lean forward as leaning over is scary for them, sure they learn to tolerate that too, but before bond is really strong it is best to avoid those, imo.
One of mine I can pick up, but he just does not like from handling, I'm not sure if it has something to do with him thinking he is the alpha cat of the group, he will purr on my lap for 10-15 seconds, but then he becomes desperate to jump off. His sister is then such that sometimes tolerates, sometimes does not, but picking her up requires element of surprise as if she think she is being picked up she starts running. Still she sometimes takes a nap on my lap.
They are quite different, but with time and them seeing other ones, they learn.
Word of caution though, I'm pretty sure one of mine is jealous to his brother who just recently learned to be on lap cat, jealous one is not jumping on my lap now and every time his brother is on lap jealous one starts to make noises and stands next to chair tail up like he does when excepting to be picked up and when there would be his turn he runs to other side of room and claws sofa.
It is hard to get them both on lap as they are quite bit larger than average size cats.
Of course bending over the cat is very scary for cat, so usually when teaching to being picked up it might be good to try being on your knees and while petting and rubbing/kneading her sides gently lift her up from underside, between front legs, just with single hand using palm, only inch off from ground and then let her back down and continue petting like if nothing had happened.
Having two hands surround her body might be something scary, so at later stage try to get one hand under her front section, from front side and kind of scoop her hind legs on your other hand's palm and lift up, just one fluid motion.
All of my cats seem to like a lot when I rub their head with my chin, so maybe try such after you can pick her up, it might be something new nice thing which she might associate to being picked up so that way she would learn quicker to tolerate handling.
One of the difficult things is to keep back straight and not to lean forward as leaning over is scary for them, sure they learn to tolerate that too, but before bond is really strong it is best to avoid those, imo.
One of mine I can pick up, but he just does not like from handling, I'm not sure if it has something to do with him thinking he is the alpha cat of the group, he will purr on my lap for 10-15 seconds, but then he becomes desperate to jump off. His sister is then such that sometimes tolerates, sometimes does not, but picking her up requires element of surprise as if she think she is being picked up she starts running. Still she sometimes takes a nap on my lap.
They are quite different, but with time and them seeing other ones, they learn.
Word of caution though, I'm pretty sure one of mine is jealous to his brother who just recently learned to be on lap cat, jealous one is not jumping on my lap now and every time his brother is on lap jealous one starts to make noises and stands next to chair tail up like he does when excepting to be picked up and when there would be his turn he runs to other side of room and claws sofa.
It is hard to get them both on lap as they are quite bit larger than average size cats.
