questions.... (Monday fun as i am feeling 60% better)

[kev]

Emm - in the new year - I really gotta make the trip up the A1 and meet you before you head off. I have a feeling it would be a laugh a minute, find a local pub, get the kids playing and you and your other half and me and mine - I think we will be kicked out for laughing too much!!!!!!

OK - new one for you - man sat on the back of a trap with his dog next to him, pony up the front and walking slowly. Man gets out his whip and whips the horse to get it moving quicker. With that the pony's head turns round and looks at the man and says "Hey - dont go whipping me".
The man astounded looks at the dog and says in amazement with eyes wide open "I didn't know the horse could talk"
To which the dog looked at him, cocked his ear and said "neither did I!"

 

[adymarie]

all?



Questions that really need answers...

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Because you go more often int he refrigerator

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Because he cares and maybe he wrote it!

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
My vote is for yes - there is no stipulation that the extra person must be alive!

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
I think that is a new thing we should start!

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
Goofy is more evoled!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme garbage, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
Cause he is craving Road runner and you just can't buy a good filet of road runner now days!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
I would tell you, but this is a family site!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? ---thats one for Adrienne in Toronto!!!!
You may not go anywhere near my child kev!

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Some issues of morality do seem to.

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Cause kids like things that are familiar

Stop singing and read on...

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Did you ever think you just have bad breath?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
It helps you believe you are doing something other then waiting!

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
That is a good question.

 

[turtlecat]

Questions that really need answers...

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?Because it'd wake the snow peas.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him??Well, ask him, I bet he wrote it simply to have someone give a crap


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
yes, but it's impolite to leave the entourage behind in heavy traffic.


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
oh, but I do.


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!?goofy makes the concious choice to do so.. which makes pluto smarter.. it evens out


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme garbage, why
didn't he just buy dinner??perserverance.


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests??testicles..ask a woman... she knows.


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? ---thats one for Adrienne in Toronto!!!!?do you really want to know??


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons??Al sharpton...case in point.


Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune??While children continue to be amazing and creative, adults are not.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window??well.. if you didn't have onions in your sandwich....

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster??no, but at least it's something to do while you wait.


Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle??hint: leave the bottle uncapped...

 

[turtlecat]

questions - if you have a squeak noise and you oil it - where does the squeak go??The squeek is a tiny creature that feeds of crumbs. the squeak eventually gets in places it oughtn't and gets stuck, the squeak will scream until you set it free.. where it goes home to very worried parents, sqwauk and scree.

How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work? ?have pity for the poor man.. he has to walk!

If a man walks through a forest and is talking out aloud to himself and there are no women around, is he still wrong????the flaw of men always being wrong exists genetically. you need to have 2 matching genes (IE.. be homozygous) in this gene to be always correct. However, this gene lies in that part of the x that gets hacked off to be a y.

 

[kev]

Originally Posted by turtlecat

questions - if you have a squeak noise and you oil it - where does the squeak go??The squeek is a tiny creature that feeds of crumbs. the squeak eventually gets in places it oughtn't and gets stuck, the squeak will scream until you set it free.. where it goes home to very worried parents, sqwauk and scree.

.[/color][/b]

............and there was me thinking I needed help!!!!!well done of wise one...

next Question - if a man is walking sideways through a turnstile at an airport, is he going to Bangkok?

K

 

[kev]

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

last one is very true........ am off for an early night as have developed a streaming cold and am gonna go rest

 

[mom of franz]

Why do you never see baby pigeons?

 

[kev]

if a stealth bomber crashed - would it make a noise?