Not married.
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Question of The Day. Saturday 27th of August
- Thread starter Norachan
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That sounds like a great wedding Caitini.
I'm not married, so I'll answer this about my sister.
First thing I'll say is that my sister is... special. I say that with great affection. She is an incredibly bright, creative, curious person with an engaging personality that people warm to right away. She also likes what she likes and if she doesn't like it, you (and everyone else within hearing) will know. I often say that she lacks that thing that most of us have in our heads to tell us "Maybe now isn't the best time to say what I'm thinking". All of which made her wedding planning a bit stressful for the family. By "a bit" , I mean "indescribably".
She wanted an outdoor wedding in Northern California, where our parents live. She wanted a Caribbean band. She wanted us all dressed in traditional Indian clothing (her husband is Indian). She was living on the east coast at the time, so our parents had to make most of the arrangements (although she sourced the Indian clothes for us). She wanted a professional hairstylist for us on the day, who had to come to us. There was so much potential for so many things to go wrong. We were all sure that something would - it had to, right? And then we were fully prepared for her to complain in the middle of her own wedding, so all her guests could hear, about how her wedding was ruined, most likely by something really minor and petty.
It went perfectly. Every single thing about it. Not even the slightest hitch.
And when it was all over, my parents told me: "If you ever get married, we'll pay you to elope."
I know what you mean about some people lacking the thing that tells them not to always say whatever is on their mind. I call it a filter. I know a few people who were born without a filter.
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I did it wrong the first time. We were married in his family home by his preacher. It lasted 15 years.
The second time, I got the right man. We were married in the church we were both attending at the time. We had two preachers. One did the ceremony and one did the singing. A friend of mine also was there and sang two songs. I wore a street length pink dress and white shoes. He wore the only suit he had at the time and it was dark green. Only a few of our friends were invited and of course our immediate families were there. It was about fifty people. We had a small reception after the ceremony. We spent our honeymoon in South Carolina. We have been married for thirty eight years.
The second time, I got the right man. We were married in the church we were both attending at the time. We had two preachers. One did the ceremony and one did the singing. A friend of mine also was there and sang two songs. I wore a street length pink dress and white shoes. He wore the only suit he had at the time and it was dark green. Only a few of our friends were invited and of course our immediate families were there. It was about fifty people. We had a small reception after the ceremony. We spent our honeymoon in South Carolina. We have been married for thirty eight years.
Unless you are far, far better than I at picking men, you're much better off with teh pussycats.
@Norachan The handfasting was lovely. It was at Mabon, which is the autumnal equinox, and a harvest festival. My dress was a full length peasant gown with a empire waist.tied with a purple ribbon. I wore a wreathe of small sunflowers, and carried a sheaf of wheat, rather than flowers..,you know, "the harvest is safely in, time to rest and enjoy" sort of thing. My attendant wore a lavender peasant gown with an ecru ribbon, and a single sunflower tucked in her hair. We wrote our own vows, as Pagans don't have a set ritual for handfasting, but they really were vows, not just the declarations of love that most people consider "vows." When we decided that we were better off not together, we actually had a parting ritual, with the same people (with one exception) who saw us handfast. That, too, is a lovely ceremony, in its way, although so solemn and sad.
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It will be our 12th wedding anniversary on October 2nd. We had a DIY wedding; small, but very personalized...and cheap! I spent a year making stuff, including my silk 1860's style wedding gown and veil. It was based on one in the V&A Museum from 1865. I was a Civil War reenactor at the time. I only had 1 bridesmaid, a fellow reenactor, and my best friend was the Matron of Honor. She wasn't a reenactor, so I made her gown. The men were dressed in modern clothing.
I made the invitations, wedding favors, centerpieces (small pumpkins, carved with hearts, with a candle in them). I did all the decorating of the church and the reception. We had about 80 people, including the small wedding party.
The bouquets and corsages I ordered were awful.The colors clashed with Mom's dress (they were not the shades I ordered) , and the bouquets for the bridesmaids were literally the size of saucers, and the stems were so short, they had trouble carrying them. The flowers kept falling out of mine.
I left my Sister-In-Law in charge during the reception, which was a buffet, mostly cooked by DH and I. I hired 3 of her friends to help out. Near the end of the reception, I wondered where they were. She had let them go home early! We spent 2 hours cleaning up, me in my wedding gown.
Oh, did I mention I was still sick from the flu? At a poignant moment during the vows, I realized that my MOH had forgotten the Irish linen handkerchief I was to carry, and my nose stared dripping. I kept putting my head back so the mucus would run back into my nasal passages. Charming. Guests later asked me if I were silently invoking God.
My feet were so swollen, I had trouble walking out to DH's car.
And the wedding night was just so romantic...I had a horrible headache from everything, so we just watched true murder shows on A&E. Around 2:30 AM, I could hear the other Marine and his new wife upstairs above us being VERY romantic, indeed.
The next day wasn't much better. The stupid place had a bad breakfast.
We had a 2-day honeymoon In Gettysburg. DH had to go back to work ; I took the week off to do the housewife thing--setting up the apartment, cooking him dinner, etc. It was wonderful and restful. It is a fond memory.
I made the invitations, wedding favors, centerpieces (small pumpkins, carved with hearts, with a candle in them). I did all the decorating of the church and the reception. We had about 80 people, including the small wedding party.
The bouquets and corsages I ordered were awful.The colors clashed with Mom's dress (they were not the shades I ordered) , and the bouquets for the bridesmaids were literally the size of saucers, and the stems were so short, they had trouble carrying them. The flowers kept falling out of mine.
I left my Sister-In-Law in charge during the reception, which was a buffet, mostly cooked by DH and I. I hired 3 of her friends to help out. Near the end of the reception, I wondered where they were. She had let them go home early! We spent 2 hours cleaning up, me in my wedding gown.
Oh, did I mention I was still sick from the flu? At a poignant moment during the vows, I realized that my MOH had forgotten the Irish linen handkerchief I was to carry, and my nose stared dripping. I kept putting my head back so the mucus would run back into my nasal passages. Charming. Guests later asked me if I were silently invoking God.
My feet were so swollen, I had trouble walking out to DH's car.
And the wedding night was just so romantic...I had a horrible headache from everything, so we just watched true murder shows on A&E. Around 2:30 AM, I could hear the other Marine and his new wife upstairs above us being VERY romantic, indeed.
The next day wasn't much better. The stupid place had a bad breakfast.
We had a 2-day honeymoon In Gettysburg. DH had to go back to work ; I took the week off to do the housewife thing--setting up the apartment, cooking him dinner, etc. It was wonderful and restful. It is a fond memory.
Not very romantic just practical. Decided to get married Tuesday evening. Got special licence Wednesday morning and got married Friday morning. Bought the wedding rings on the way to the town hall. Grabbed two strangers off the road as witnesses. It lasted 18years. Now I am happily divorces. Not doing it again.
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@Mamanyt1953 They both sounds like very interesting ceremonies. I'm sure it must have been very sad, but having a parting ceremony must have been helpful in it's way. A time when you were both present to say, "This is over now", so you can move on to your next stage of life.
It will be our 12th wedding anniversary on October 2nd. We had a DIY wedding; small, but very personalized...and cheap! I spent a year making stuff, including my silk 1860's style wedding gown and veil. It was based on one in the V&A Museum from 1865. I was a Civil War reenactor at the time. I only had 1 bridesmaid, a fellow reenactor, and my best friend was the Matron of Honor. She wasn't a reenactor, so I made her gown. The men were dressed in modern clothing.
I made the invitations, wedding favors, centerpieces (small pumpkins, carved with hearts, with a candle in them). I did all the decorating of the church and the reception. We had about 80 people, including the small wedding party.
That sounds really nice. I'd love to see some pictures of your dress.
Oh, did I mention I was still sick from the flu? At a poignant moment during the vows, I realized that my MOH had forgotten the Irish linen handkerchief I was to carry, and my nose stared dripping. I kept putting my head back so the mucus would run back into my nasal passages. Charming. Guests later asked me if I were silently invoking God.
Oh, funny!
We celebrated our 13th anniversary this year. We had a decent size church ceremony and a reception at a senior center. I have no idea how many people actually were there; but I think we had about 200 who rsvp'd. It was less on the day-of because of some emergencies. The day was rainy so we weren't able to do outdoor pictures; but mostly everything went well. It was pretty traditional; but I didn't want to be walked down the aisle; so instead I walked most of it myself and met both my Dad and DH at one point and walked the rest together. We had a large bridal party with 7 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, a junior bridesmaid, flower girl and ring bearer. I couldn't choose between my best friend and cousin as my maid of honor; so I had 2.
It's sort of amusing to look back on. Now we really don't look for the spotlight at all. We have very few friends like we did in those days.
One of my bridesmaids is now married to one of DH's groomsmen.
One of my bridesmaids is now married to one of DH's groomsmen.
